Labels: Monday Motivation
The random wanderings of the brain of a 44 y/o Red-blooded, White-skinned, Blue-streak cussing, Politically-Incorrect and Proud Of It American Son Of A Sailor. Blogging from my super-secret base of operations at Camp Forger.
Labels: Monday Motivation
3: A Retrosexual DEALS WITH SHIT. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.
21: A Retrosexual does not order an apple martini at the bar. A Martini has fucking Vodka and vermouth in it dammit. And maybe an olive. In fact, why not just get a shot of Vodka??
"George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead," written and directed by the man behind "Day of the Dead," finds film students shooting a zombie movie in the woods confronting a real-life zombie invasion.
Title: To amend section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act to clarify those classes of individuals born in the United States who are nationals and citizens of the United States at birth.
Sponsor: Rep Deal, Nathan [GA-9] (introduced 4/19/2007)
Latest Major Action: 5/4/2007 Referred to House subcommittee. Status: Referred to the Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, Refugees, Border Security, and International Law.
SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.
This Act may be cited as the `Birthright Citizenship Act of 2007′.
SEC. 2. CITIZENSHIP AT BIRTH FOR CERTAIN PERSONS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES.
(a) In General- Section 301 of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1401) is amended–
(1) by inserting `(a) IN GENERAL- ‘ before `The following’;
(2) by redesignating paragraphs (a) through (h) as paragraphs (1) through (8); and
(3) by adding at the end the following:
`(b) Definition- Acknowledging the right of birthright citizenship established by section 1 of the 14th amendment to the Constitution, a person born in the United States shall be considered `subject to the jurisdiction’ of the United States for purposes of subsection (a)(1) if the person is born in the United States of parents, one of whom is–
`(1) a citizen or national of the United States;
`(2) an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States whose residence is in the United States; or
`(3) an alien performing active service in the armed forces (as defined in section 101 of title 10, United States Code).’.
(b) Applicability- The amendment made by subsection (a)(3) shall not be construed to affect the citizenship or nationality status of any person born before the date of the enactment of this Act.
Labels: Illegal Immigrants
Labels: Monday Motivation
Labels: Friday Funny
"An independant mixed martial arts instructor as a United States Marine, Joshua Adam Garcia teaches a fusion based mixed martial arts system he calls STRIKE; combining the study of Jeet Kune Do, Filipino martial arts, and Thai fighting with freestyle wrestling and the concepts of Russian Systema, Mauy Thai, and Brazilian JuJitsu."
Labels: JAG OFF
Marine chef cooked up details about his service
By C. Mark Brinkley - Staff writer
Posted : Friday Jun 15, 2007 5:47:53 EDT
Would you like lies with that?
Former Marine Josh Adam Garcia has been cooking up some tall tales in the kitchen on his quest to win the title of “The Next Food Network Star.”
The popular reality television show, now in its third season, brings together 11 real-world cooks to compete for a six-episode series deal on the network. Last season’s champ, Guy Fieri, has quickly become a standout on the network, now working as host of the new shows “Guy’s Big Bite” and “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.”
After a June 1 interview with the former Marine cook, Military Times began digging deeper into Garcia’s past. It seems that much of the story, provided by both Food Network and by the man himself, doesn’t check out.
Touted as a graduate of the New York Restaurant School and a former Marine who served in Afghanistan, Garcia’s record is actually much less stellar. For starters, he never finished culinary school in New York.
“He attended, but did not graduate,” said Midge Elias, director of public relations at the school, now known as the Art Institute of New York City. Privacy rules prevent the school from releasing any further information, such as number of course hours completed or whether the former Marine used the GI Bill to help finance his training, as he claimed in multiple interviews.
Garcia, who turns 26 later this month, was a Marine, enlisting Aug. 15, 1999, for a four-year enlistment that should have ended in 2003. Instead, Garcia was discharged eight months early as a private for reasons that the Marine Corps declined to discuss due to laws protecting his personal information.
Enlisted for more than three years with no promotions? Not even the Marine Corps is that tough.
In a follow-up interview Monday, Garcia was asked to explain why he called himself a former corporal. He owned up to non-judicial punishments that cost him rank, but he blamed his military troubles on a hazing conspiracy at his former unit. Garcia also claimed that he fought his administrative separation and was ultimately exonerated, but none of that can be independently confirmed because of privacy rules.
The Marine Corps has no record of Garcia’s rank being upgraded from private by any review board.
Likewise, the service has no record of Garcia ever deploying to Afghanistan, and certainly not as a member of 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, the infantry unit Garcia said he accompanied to the war zone in 2002. In fact, Marine officials at the battalion’s home at Camp Lejeune, N.C., said the unit did not deploy to Afghanistan that year.
“When I was in the Marine Corps, I was a grunt for a year and a half, two years, and um, became a cook,” Garcia says in a video profile for Food Network, going on to tell his story of growing up in low-income housing in New York’s south Bronx, cooking for his family at age 7. Marine officials said Tuesday that the only military occupational specialty listed in Garcia’s file is food service, and there’s no record of him holding an infantry specialty.
Now living in Havelock, N.C., not far from the gates of his final duty station, Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point, Garcia is the chef de cuisine at the French fusion restaurant Stacia’s Lieu Secret in nearby New Bern.
When confronted with the inconsistencies, Garcia said he never specifically told the Food Network he went to Afghanistan, but instead let producers there “believe what they wanted to believe.”
During the June 1 telephone interview, a conference call with the chef and a publicist for the network, Garcia was asked several times whether he was embellishing or omitting details from his military record. Rather than correct any inaccuracies then, the former Marine stuck to his story.
“I was just afraid of what they would say,” Garcia said in the follow-up interview Monday, which was not monitored by the publicist. “I’m not dishonorable, dude. The unit was trying to cover up hazing, a big hazing scandal.”
During a second phone interview later that day, Garcia asked that the truth behind his military record not be revealed. He told stories of fights that stemmed from being a victim of hazing, and of a command that wanted to ruin him forever.
“Everything I’ve worked so hard for will come crashing down,” he said. “Everybody there (in his military unit) told me I’d never amount to nothing. The worst thing I did was let the Food Network believe something that wasn’t true.”
It’s unclear what role his military past and culinary training played in his selection for “The Next Food Network Star.” There was no requirement for either in the audition process, and some other contestants have no culinary training or formal kitchen experience.
But, the former Marine admitted that it was during the final selections for the show that he let the “war hero” notion take hold.
“That’s my fault,” he said. “I let them believe it, that’s my fault.”
When contacted about the inconsistencies Tuesday afternoon, Food Network issued a brief written statement:
“Food Network conducted routine background checks on the competitors featured in the series,” according to the statement, attributed to Bob Tuschman, senior vice-president of programming and production for Food Network (and a recurring judge on the show). “It has come to our attention that some facts about Josh Garcia may have been misrepresented. We are currently investigating this situation and will have a resolution soon. His updated bio, pending further review, has been posted on the Web site.”
The online profile no longer included any references to Afghanistan as of 6 p.m. Tuesday, but still referred to Garcia as a graduate of the New York school after the statement was released. By 8 p.m. Tuesday night, Garcia’s profile had been updated to say that he only had attended the school. Garcia’s personal MySpace page also listed him as a graduate of the school, but as of Tuesday evening, his MySpace account had been made private, thus restricting access.
When contacted a final time for comment Tuesday afternoon, Garcia finally stopped talking.
“You’re going to have to talk to the Food Network,” he said. “I don’t have anything else to say.”
The bulk of “The Next Food Network Star” episodes have already been filmed. New episodes of air each Sunday night (repeats air throughout the week) through July 22, with a panel of guest judges voting on who stays or goes.
The voting is opened up to America when the field is down to the final two, and viewers will decide on the winner.
Labels: JAG OFF
Puff, The Magic Negro - "Allah Ak... er, I mean, Our homey who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy bling. The White House come, my will be done, in D.C. as it is on the South Side. Give me an' my niggaz our daily 40s. Forgive us our pimpin' as we bust a cap in the ass of those who pimp against us. Lead us not back to the 'hood but deliver us from Whitey. For mine is the kingdom, yo, the power, bitch and the muthafuckin' glory forever G. Peace out. "
Hildebeast - "Lord, I know this is a tall order, but if you can keep that idiot Bill's pecker in his pants for another 16 months so it won't fuck up my election, I promise to use the power of the office of President to do your work here on Earth, and... What?? No I don't have my fingers crossed behind my back.... No, really... What deal with Satan??? I don't have a deal with him... I don't care what he said, you know what kind of lying bastard he is.... No, I don't know about any contract in my hand writing signed in Chelsea's virginal blood..."
Breck Girl - "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!!!"
Labels: Insanity '08
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That’s how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.
(From L-R: OR nurse, surgeon, anesthesiologist, and me on the table.)
Labels: Monday Motivation
The government has ruled that fish may feel pain and will draw up a charter of rights to protect them from inhumane treatment in research laboratories, writes Michelle McGinty.
Home Office guidelines will ensure that fish used for scientific study are monitored for signs of stress. Scientists will be required to “enrich” the animals’ lives by putting shelters and other features in aquariums.
The charter also stipulates that laboratories and universities should “retire” fish at a reasonable age so they can enjoy their old age.
The guidelines have been prompted by mounting evidence suggesting that fish, which are used widely for genetic research, have pain receptors similar to those of land-dwelling vertebrates.
A study conducted at the Roslin Institute near Edinburgh and published by the Royal Society in 2003 appeared to show fish have nervous systems that respond to damaging stimuli.
Last year 230,000 fish were used by government laboratories, an increase of more than a third since 2003. They are the third largest group of laboratory animals, behind mice and rats.
Zebrafish, a tropical variety, are most commonly used because they are suited to a wide range of experiments. They can regenerate their fins, skin and heart following injury in an experiment. The mechanism by which they do so is unknown and is being studied by scientists.
Victoria Braithwaite, of Edinburgh University’s institute of evolutionary biology, who has helped draw up the guidelines, said there was growing evidence that fish had greater intellectual capacity than previously thought. A study last year found red sea groupers were hunting cooperatively with moray eels, using eye contact to call them to a hunt and then sharing the spoils.
Labels: Get A Grant - The Series