2007 - The Year In Review

OK, Who's Family Movie Is This???

(Stolen from Grouchy Old Cripple)

Texas Ditch Surfin'

Failing To See The Downside...

So, some cock-knocker named Dave Lindorff has penned an article about how Goreballs Warming and the coming inundation of flood waters from the melting ice caps will put an end to us Red Staters keeping him and his commie hippy-type pinko fag buddies down.... Moron seems to have forgotten one teeny-tiny little detail in his fantasy....

Between Red Staters and The Military, (who by and large are Red Staters), we have the best toys to take what we need to continue our way of life. And if we have to kick some hippy ass and take tree-hugger names, well, a global natural disaster would be just the excuse we've been looking for...

But using their own information to form projections, IF the seas rise 100 meters, these maps show that the hardest hit areas will be some of their favorite stomping grounds...



AND, it will be a 10 minute drive from the crib to the beach, and an hour drive to my newly formed beach front vacation property, or a days boat trip down the coast to get there...

So somebody tell me why this isn't a WIN - WIN situation???

Merry Christmas!! Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings Jingle Bombs

SILENCE!! I Keel You!!

5 Year Old Update

Apparently, somebody pulled a fast one with the "How Many 5 year Olds" quiz, and the link goes to some bullshit date site. Sorry about that. I would never knowingly post a cheese-dick link like that.

I just copy/pasted the html I got with my results, and my HTML-Fu is weak. So I pulled the post.

Merry Christmas JMFL

We miss you and we love you.



Here's a little Christmas Jam for you...

Santa Might Be Running A Little Late This Year

You would think that with NORAD's ability to track everything from ground level to outer space, and especially since they track Santa's flight every year, they might be able to give The Big Guy a little warning about objects in his flight path like this...

Bad Baby Names

The More I Know People, The More I like Dogs

Marine Cpl. Dustin Jerome Lee and his German shepherd, Lex, scoured Iraq for roadside bombs together, slept next to each other and even posed in Santa hats for a holiday photo.

When a mortar attack killed the 20-year-old Marine in Falluja a few months later, Lex, whimpering from his own injuries, had to be pulled away, Lee's father was told.

That strong bond compelled the slain Marine's family to [petition the Marines to] adopt 8-year-old Lex even though the military said he still had two years of service.

The family lobbied the military for months, launched an Internet petition and enlisted the aid of a North Carolina congressman who took their case straight to the Marine Corps' top general.

As Paul Harvey would say, The Rest Of The Story...

Semper Fi, Lex. Good Boy.

Why I'm Voting For Fred!!

Asking For It

By now you've probably heard that the Japs have developed genetically modified mice that aren't afraid of cats. It has something to do with the fact they can no longer smell or identify the smell from a cat that triggers the instinct to get the hell outta Dodge when a cat shows up...

Next thing you know, we'll be hearing of suicide bomber attacks in Japan...


Lets just hope they don't start fucking around with lizard DNA...

Truckin' Around

In a moment of insanity, I went from having a PAID FOR, WHOLLY OWNED BY ME, MINE, MINE, MINE, truck back into a truck that is mine alone...

...that me and the finance company own.

Old and (not really) Busted...

1995 Ranger XLT, 2.3l I-4, 2wd, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, CB, scanner, beer window, 232+K miles.

The New Hotness...

1998 Ranger XLT, 4.0l V-6, 4X4, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, AM/FM/CD, beer window, 126+K miles.

It is ALMOST the perfect truck that I have always wanted, except for one thing...


...Pansy-ass Push-Button Four Fuckin' Wheel Drive w/ Auto Hubs...

As long as it works, I guess I can live with it. But the biggest bitch-points are...

1: When you are in 4X4 and shift from forward to reverse, the hubs unlock and then re-lock in the new direction. Manual hubs are LOCKED, PERIOD.

2: There is no real way of knowing if your transfer case is actually engaged.

And spare me that horseshit about, "Well, if you get stuck, you don't have to get out and get dirty to lock in the hubs..."

A: You have to be able to move a couple of feet to engage the hubs when you flip the switch for the 4X4, and if you are already stuck, as they say in ebonics, "You be fucked."

B: If you have a 4X4 and come up on something that you might get stuck in, and you don't get out and lock the hubs BE-FUCKING-FORE you get in the shit, you are a moron and deserve to get stuck and starve to death before you pass on your defective DNA.

There is one other thing it is missing, but that can be easily rectified...

Whitewalls, baby!!

Ted For Prez

The money quote @ 1:37...

The Second Amendment of our Bill Of Rights is my Concealed Carry Permit... PERIOD!!

Monday Motivation

This one is for JMFL, who went back to the sandbox to do his duty, left is new wife and his family and loved ones to go back to wounded and dying troops for 18+ hour days at Baghdad ER.

And the "sign language" is also for all the fuckhead hippies and lefttard treehuggers and cut and run surrender monkeys who "support the troops" by calling for their dishonorable withdrawal and say they are better troops when they frag their officers...



Wanna end the war?? Put on some fucking boots instead of sandals, pick up a weapon instead of a fucking protest sign, and deploy to the front instead of some leftist enclave where you have all the protections that our troops have secured for over 200 years and kill those who wanna kill you instead of being a pissywhineypussy baby saying, "BushHitlerMcCheneyHaliburton is bad, M'kay..."

You have the right of Free Speech, but I don't have to like the shit that comes outa your filthy sewers...

Booty Call

Beauty And The Beast

I Would Do Anything For You, My Love...

WOW - Baby Got Back

In honor of Spike's Video Game Awards this weekend...

Ever Have One Of Those Days???

Just A Quick Note...

...to the fucking hood rats at the game tonight...

Here in S.E. Missouri, we are Americans and goddamned fuckin' proud of it!!! And when The National Anthem is being sung before a game, you fucking well stand and salute if you are MilPers, or if civvie, you put your right hand over your heart.

You DO NOT sprawl out on the bench, hold onto your pathetic pecker, or roll your fucking eyes as if to say, "Fuck this cracker shit..." Plenty of crackers AND niggers have fought and died to keep this country free so you can act like an uncivilized savage that doesn't know how to use a fucking belt.

And I'd be willing to bet that somewhere in your bloodline is a relative who served and if they were there tonight, they would have slapped you in the back of your nappy head and say, "You better stand up and show respect boy before I smack you upside the head again."

This About Sums It Up...

If I Were A Ventriloquist's Dummy...

...I'd be THIS guy.
#1

#2

#3

Full Metal Christmas

You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings... You are nothing but unorganized, grabasstic pieces of elven shit!!

As Heard On Scanners

Apparently, there is a "Winter Season Holiday Between Thanksgiving and New Years" (don't wanna offend anyone by calling it Christmas) parade today.

Apparently, the flunkies putting the thing together are using those little walkie-talkies to communicate with each other, "...cars need moved..., where's the bathroom, which float is first" kind of crap has been coming over the scanner. Normally I mentally tune that kind of shit out, but one transmission caught my attention...

Is Santa SOBER this year??

I was laughing too hard to hear the reply....