31 March 2007

Music To Pole Dance By - Cradle Of Love

Back in the good ol' days when I was H.M.F.I.C. (Head Mother Fucker In Charge) of a Deja Vu Nudie Bar in Memphis, and was up to my armpits in pussy, we used to play some kick ass tunes, and this post is the first in a series designed to get your women up on a brass pole....


21 March 2007

Heart Attack On A Bun

(once again stolen from BMEWS)

Naval Aviators have a little delicacy they call The Barney Clark Burger. It consists of a cheeseburger with bacon and a fried egg on top and was named after the first human to receive an artificial heart. I have made this at home and it is the BEST burger I have ever shoved into my mouth.

Now allow me to present you with The Barney Clark Hotdog...

(click link below to goto site with step by step pix... NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!!)

1 hot dog
1 slice of thick-cut bacon
1 can of spray cheese
1 can beer (It doesn’t matter what kind, but we recommend something dark. Corona probably isn’t a good idea)
1 cup flour
Oil for frying

This one is a little work-intensive, so be ready to buckle down. First take the center out of the hot dog with an apple corer, if you have access to one. If not, just cut out the middle with a knife. Fill the cavity with the spray cheese and use the hot dog you removed from the middle as a cap to keep the cheese in. Wrap the bacon around the hot dog and deep-fry for two to four minutes or until bacon is cooked. Dab them dry with a paper towel (so the batter will stick). Mix the beer with the flour until it reaches a thick, but lump-free consistency. Dip the dogs in the batter, coating the dog completely, and deep-fry on high heat for two to three minutes or until brown and deadly.
NOTE: Don’t fry them too long or all of the cheese will explode out into the oil. That’s very bad.

DISCLAIMER: The Management is NOT responsible for any self-induced myocardial infarctions, floggings from your cardiologist, or rate hikes in your health insurance that may occur from trying these recipes at home.


20 March 2007

No Guns, Know Zombies.

12 March 2007

The Great Global Warming Swindle

(via Emperor Misha over at The Rott)

Please, take an hour and fourteen minutes outta your life to watch this video de-bunking The Goreacle and his Ass-holey Church of Goreball Warming religion and their multi-billion dollar a year rip-off of taxpayers and industry...

Wanna know how far The Goreacle's acolytes are willing to go to protect their cash cow...

Timothy Ball, a former climatology professor at the University of Winnipeg in Canada, has received five deaths threats by email since raising concerns about the degree to which man was affecting climate change.

One of the emails warned that, if he continued to speak out, he would not live to see further global warming.

Click the link for the rest of the article...

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10 March 2007

Hot Patootie


Time Warp


Sweet Transvestite


Double Feature Picture Show

Just because it came up in a 'Net conversation with a "liberal" chick I know, I give you this and urge you to hie thee hence to a midnight show A.S.A.P.

(after a long talk, I would describe her as a militant hippie)


08 March 2007

I Touch Myself

(updated and edited)

Just because I dig red-headed, pouty-lipped, busty chicks in thigh high leather boots....


07 March 2007

Wednesday Weird Al - Polkas On 45

Got a '95 Ford Ranger King-Cab Pickup from The Bossman the other week. Been using it to move into the new cave. It came with a purple and blue flame body stripe across the top of the windshield and hoopty go-cart tires on the rims. Got rid of the fucked up flames last week and got new tires on it today.

White wall tires.

Now, the Ol' Lady has formally declared that I am an Old Fuck and that she is married to her Father because I put the white wall to the outside instead of the inside. Personally, I think that having the white wall to the inside looks sillier than having them to the outside and I have no problem with the way it looks 'cause it's just a beater with a quarter of a million miles on it.

So, in that Old Fuck vein, I give you this week's Wednesday Weird Al...

(Anybody else remember 45's??? The records, not the rounds...)


06 March 2007

From The Land Of The Rising Sun

In addition to being a technological powerhouse, Japan is also famous for serving up Godzilla, sushi that can kill your ass, tentacle sex anime, Hello Kitty vibrators, and now, The Synchronized Wild Monkey Dance Of Love.

According to the link and the comments, there is between 100 and 250 couples gettin' it on in one room. Their movements and position changes are all sync'd together.

Click on post title for more...


Tuesday Toon

You know you would hit it....


05 March 2007

Monday Motivation

02 March 2007

The Gore Effect

As you have heard by now, The Goracle won an Oscar for his film about Goreball warming. The premise is that man is responsible for changes in the weather patterns. There is some truth to this, but it isn't man-kind that is having an effect, it is A man who is changing the weather. And that man is none other than The Gorebot himself.

I know that some of you will call a bullshit flag on that play, but while he flies around the world in a private jet burning fuel by gallons per minute preaching about climate change, and living in a mansion that uses 20 times more energy than the average American home while he tells all of us peasants we are the cause of the coming doom of the planet and all life on it unless we give up our energy dependent ways, there is proof that where ever he goes, the climate changes.

Remember that the seasons are reversed when you go south of the equator, so when it's winter here, it's summer there...

( from the Hearld Sun: )
Al Gore does it again: preaches warming - brings cold, snow

The High Priest of global warming flies in yet again for a jamboree of alarmism:

MORE than 1700 people have applied for 75 unpaid jobs spreading an Australian version of the climate change message of former US vice-president Al Gore…

As well as not being paid, they will each have to foot the travel and accommodation bills to attend a two-day training session in Sydney this weekend. Mr Gore, who arrives in Australia today, will attend the session.

And, right on cue, the weather responds to the famous Gore effect. From the Bureau of Meteorology site on this morning in mid-November:

Sydney 21° A few showers developing. Windy.
Melbourne 14° Showers, windy.
Adelaide 16° Brief shower or two.
Hobart 10° Showers. Mountain snow.
Canberra 15° Few showers. Windy.
Victoria: ... Showers, widespread in southern and mountain areas with snowfall down to 600 metres. Local hail and thunderstorms contracting to the east late in the day and clearing tonight.

This has happened to Gore rather a lot, curiously enough. See, for instance, what happened when he gave a major speech on global warming in Boston in 2004:

Gore will make the warming case on a day forecasters are predicting the coldest temps in Boston since 1957, with wind chills in parts of New England plunging to 100 degrees below zero!

Same story when Gore went to New York:

With a near-record low temperature and single-digit wind chill in New York City, former Vice President Al Gore took to the podium in Manhattan’s Beacon Theater today to blasted President Bush for contributing to “global warming.”

And now Gore flies in from a stay in New Zealand, whose farmers must hope he’s taken his weather with him:

An unusually cold October has left Southland dairy farmers struggling with pasture growth rates about three weeks later than usual.

Mind you, this hasn’t just happened to Gore, as local global warming disciples found out just a couple of weeks ago:

Thousands of people have marched through central Sydney, ignoring wet and windy weather to protest against global warming.

This continued the curious pattern noted by Tim Blair, who gives further examples from Montreal to Byron Bay.

So let us all give thanks that we have Manbearpig tirelessly battling on our behalf to save the planet from ourselves...

Oh Great Goracle
(All praise be to Thee),
I here pray fervently.

Abide with me
in my 65 degree house.
Illuminate my soul
as I read by the light
of my 20 watt bulb.

Warm me with thy good cheer
as I bask in my cold shower.
Be the wind at my back
as I dutifully bike
20 miles to work.

I have been thy good servant
and done all, nay even more,
than Thou hast asked of me.
Surely I will be rewarded
with your blessings from on high
as you pass over
in your glorious Green Jet.

Oh Goracle (All praise be to Thee)
use your mighty powers
to insure that all we little people
will be forced to contribute
to the great cause of saving Earth
so we may all, each and every one,
suffer equally in this most worthy cause.

All this I ask in the name
of the Great Goracle,
saviour of our globe from the evil CO2.

Amen (or "Apersons" as you may prefer)

If you can't smell the bullshit yet, maybe this will sum it up for you...

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