31 October 2006

DJ Darth V Gittin' Jiggy Wit It

While I normally avoid rap and anything even remotely like it the way I avoid the Clap, I found this to be kinda entertaining...


30 October 2006

Just Another Day At The Office

3rd MAW C-130 Pilot’s description of Approach into Baghdad

This is a funny story particularly if you lust over mixed metaphors.
This is from a colorful writer from the 3rd Marine Air Wing based at MCAS Miramar.
Not bad writing for a Marine!

There I was at six thousand feet over central Iraq, two hundred eighty knots and we’re dropping faster than Paris Hilton’s panties. It’s a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I’m sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that’s neither here nor there. The night is moonless over Baghdad tonight, and blacker than a Steven King novel. But it’s 2006, folks, and I’m sporting the latest in night-combat technology - namely, hand-me-down night vision goggles (NVGs) thrown out by the fighter boys. Additionally, my 1962 Lockheed C-130E Hercules is equipped with an obsolete, yet, semi-effective missile warning system (MWS). The MWS conveniently makes a nice soothing tone in your headset just before the missile explodes into your airplane. Who says you can’t polish a turd?

At any rate, the NVGs are illuminating Baghdad International Airport like the Las Vegas Strip during a Mike Tyson fight. These NVGs are the cat’s ass. But I’ve digressed. The preferred method of approach tonight is the "Random Shallow". This tactical maneuver allows the pilot to ingress the landing zone in an unpredictable manner, thus exploiting the supposedly secured perimeter of the airfield in an attempt to avoid enemy surface-to-air missiles and small arms fire.

Personally, I wouldn’t bet my pink ass on that theory but the approach is fun as hell and that’s the real reason we fly it. We get a visual on the runway at three miles out, drop down to one thousand feet above the ground, still maintaining two hundred eighty knots. Now the fun starts. It’s pilot appreciation time as I descend the mighty Herc to six hundred feet and smoothly, yet very deliberately, yank into a sixty degree left bank, turning the aircraft ninety degrees offset from runway heading. As soon as we roll out of the turn, I reverse turn to the right a full two hundred seventy degrees in order to roll out aligned with the runway. Some aeronautical genius coined this maneuver the “Ninety/Two-Seventy.”

Chopping the power during the turn, I pull back on the yoke just to the point my nether regions start to sag, bleeding off energy in order to configure the pig for landing. "Flaps Fifty!, landing Gear Down!, Before Landing Checklist!" I look over at the copilot and he’s shaking like a cat shitting on a sheet of ice. Looking further back at the navigator, and even through the Nags, I can clearly see the wet spot spreading around his crotch. Finally, I glance at my steely-eyed flight engineer. His eyebrows rise in unison as a grin forms on his face. I can tell he’s thinking the same thing I am. "Where do we find such fine young men?"

"Flaps One Hundred!", I bark at the shaking cat. Now it’s all aim-point and airspeed. Aviation 101, with the exception there are no lights, I’m on NVGs, it’s Baghdad, and now tracers are starting to crisscross the black sky. Naturally, and not at all surprisingly, I grease the Goodyear’s on brick-one of runway 33 left, bring the throttles to ground idle and then force the props to full reverse pitch. Tonight, the sound of freedom is my four Hamilton Standard propellers chewing through the thick, putrid, Baghdad air. The huge, one hundred thirty thousand pound, lumbering whisper pig comes to a lurching stop in less than two thousand feet.

Let’s see a Viper do that!

We exit the runway to a welcoming committee of government issued Army grunts. It’s time to download their beans and bullets and letters from their sweethearts, look for war booty, and of course, urinate on Saddam’s home. I walk down the crew entry steps with my lowest-bidder, Beretta 92F, nine millimeter strapped smartly to my side, look around and thank God, not Allah, I’m an American and I’m on the winning team. Then I thank God I’m not in the Army.

Knowing once again I’ve cheated death, I ask myself, "What in the hell am I doing in this mess?" Is it Duty, Honor, and Country? You bet your ass.

Or could it possibly be for the glory, the swag, and not to mention, chicks dig the Air Medal. There’s probably some truth there too. But now is not the time to derive the complexities of the superior, cerebral properties of the human portion of the naval aviator-man-machine model. It is however, time to get out of this shit-hole. Hey copilot, clean yourself up! And how’s ’bout the "Before Starting Engines Checklist."

God, I love this job!

So Ya Wanna Be A Cool Individual, Just Like Everyone Else??

(Found at Boortz.com)

CRAWFORDSVILLE, Ind. (AP) - A teenager who decided to get her breasts pierced for her 18th birthday faces reconstructive surgery after a flesh-destroying infection forced doctors to remove her left breast.

I shudder to think that Rocket Scientists like this are the future of our country...
Stephanie Edington of Crawfordsville remained hospitalized Friday at the Indiana University Medical Center in Indianapolis, where surgeons also removed lymph nodes and infected skin up to her collar bone.

Mebbe while she's in there, the Docs could take some skull shots and see if she has ANYTHING rattling around in that airy head of her's.
Dr. Robert Goulet Jr., a professor at the Indiana University Cancer Center, said the piercing created an entry point for the bacteria, but the procedure likely did not cause the infection itself. Edington is diabetic, which left her susceptible to infection, he said.

But being 18 and omnipotent she knew better than medical professionals and said, "Never happen to me!!" Any bets on if her folks even knew about it??
Doctors diagnosed Edington, who had the piercings on Aug. 29, with necrotizing fasciitis, or gas gangrene - a rare condition that results from rapid bacteria growth and leads to tissue destruction. It is only the third documented case in the world of gas gangrene in the breast area, Goulet told The Paper of Montgomery County.

It took a whole month to go from "Cool" to "Fool".
She was in critical condition by the time she arrived at the hospital Oct. 14, Goulet said.
"By the time she got here, the skin tissue was all pretty much completely dead," he said. "She was a very sick kid when she got here."

My guess is that the first clue her parents had that something was wrong was when they walked into the house and smelled a zombie.
Edington is on an aggressive antibiotic regimen and has already undergone three surgeries. She faces several more, including eventual breast reconstruction.

She said she was eager to be discharged but worries about what awaits her.

Hope you got some good books or plenty of movie channels, 'cause your social life just went down the shitter.
"I would like to get out, but I am scared of what people are going to be thinking," she said.

The younger people will think "Freakshow" and the older people will think "Dumbass".
Edington's mother, Pamela Osban, said her daughter's illness has shaken their entire family. She worries about her daughter's future.
"You have no idea what it's like to almost lose your daughter and then to make the decision to have one of her breasts removed," she said. "Some people say 'It's just a breast.' They aren't an 18-year old girl. It's devastating for her and for the family."

And for the checkbook and IF your insurance company doesn't cancel your policy, you can expect your premiums to go through the roof.

Just remember this story when your lil' angel starts talking about getting a piercing, tattoo or any other "cool and trendy" crap done because they want to show that they are an individual, just like all their friends.

28 October 2006

Saturday South Park - Hell On Earth 2006

I learned another Stupid Blogger Trick, how to get video to play here instead of redirecting ya'll to another site. And to break it in, here's a special Halloween edition of Saturday South Park. Satan wants to have a "Super Sweet 16" party, and Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy and Biggie Smalls make guest appearances.

(I would suggest that you let it load completely before watching...)

26 October 2006

A Little Something To Scare The Shit Outta You For Halloween

Found at Op-For.com

(It's kinda long, but it's well written, possible and if you don't think our enemies haven't batted an idea like it around you are deluding yourself.)

DECEMBER 7, 2008

December 7, 2008, began inauspiciously.

At 0753 at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, the attack that had triggered America's entry into World War II, sixty-seven years before, was ceremoniously commemorated, an honor guard, taps, a 21-gun salute, the bugle's notes and the rifles' crack drifting across the bay to the USS Arizona memorial, where Admiral Arthur Peterson, USN Ret., laid a wreath in memory of the sailors sleeping below, one of whom was his own grandfather.

On the West coast it was 1053, and in Washington D.C. it was one fifty-three in the afternoon, 1353 military time.

In 2006 America, tired of War in Iraq, had elected Democrats to modest majorities in both houses of Congress. Representative Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House, third in line for the presidency. In the spring of 2007, on a narrow, party-line vote, Congress, led by Senators John Kerry and Ted Kennedy and Barbara Boxer refused to authorize spending to continue the war in Iraq, and set September 30, 2007, as the deadline for complete withdrawal of American troops.

President Bush spoke to the country, to the American forces in Iraq, to those who had been there, and to the Iraqi people, to apologize for the short-sightedness and irresponsibility of the American congress and the tragedy he believed would follow after leaving task of nurturing a representative and stable government in Iraq half done, his voice choked, tears running down his stoic face, a betrayal of emotion for which he was resoundingly criticized and denounced in much of America's media.

The level of violence across Iraq immediately subsided, as the Americans began preparations to redeploy back to the States. Mahmoud Amadinejad praised the new Congress for its clear vision and sound judgment. America's Democrats rejoiced and congratulated themselves for bringing peace with honor and ending the illegal war based on lies that George Bush had begun only to enrich his friends in the military-industrial complex, and promised to retake the Presidency in 2008.

At 1000 on September 30, 2007, precisely on schedule, the last C-5A Galaxy carrying the last company of American combat troops in Iraq had roared down the Baghdad runway and lifted into the air. Only a few hundred American technical and military advisers and political laisons remained in-country.

The Galaxy's wheels had scarcely retracted when Iraq erupted in the real civil war many had feared and foreseen, and which many others had predicted would not happen if only the American imperialists left Iraq. Sunni militias, Shia militias, and Al Qaeda militias ravaged and savaged the country, killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis known or suspected to have collaborated with the Americans, killing Shias for being Shias, Sunnis for being Sunnis, Americans for being Americans, and anyone else who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

By noon, not one of the American advisers and laisons left behind remained alive. Many had been beheaded as they screamed. Most of their bodies were dumped in the river and never seen again. In the next thirty days more than a million Iraqis died. The General Assembly of the United Nations voted to condemn the violence, and recessed for lunch and martinis. In America, there was no political will to redeploy back to Iraq. And after a few months of rabid bloodletting, the situation in Iraq calmed to a tense simmer of sporadic violence and political jockeying, punctuated by the occasional assassination, while several million refugees fled the country. Only Kurdistan, in the north, which had thrown up a line of its Peshmurga fighters to keep the southern violence away, remained stable and at relative peace.

In the spring of 2008 America began its quaternial circus of a national election, and in November elected a Democrat, the Junior Senator from New York, Hillary Rodham Clinton, as it next president, to the surprise of few. Her running mate, to the surprise of many, was San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, whose intelligence, charisma, and reputation as an indefatigable campaigner for gay marriage and the homeless of San Francisco helped solidify Clinton's support among liberal Democrats who only grudgingly forgave her for not openly opposing the Iraq war sooner, and the Clinton-Newsom ticket went to the top with a narrow 50.2% lead over Republican John McCain's 49.8% of the popular vote, despite, or perhaps because of, Clinton's and Newsom's lack of foreign policy and military experience.

America, or a slim voting majority of it, felt it had had all the war it ever wanted to see, and Hillary had led her party to a glorious (if narrow) victory with the unambiguous slogan: "Clinton & Newsom: No More War." Crowds at every whistle stop had cheered and chanted, No more war! No more war! No more war! At victory parties George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleeza Rice were hung and sometimes burned in effigy, enthusiastic crowds chanted "No more war!" many times more, and local bands cranked up the theme from the first Clinton electoral victory, "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow . . . yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone . . .," and indeed, it was.

President Bush had been a very lame duck since the 2006 election, and with a Democratic Congress could do little but veto most of the bills it sent him. The Democrats couldn't override his vetos, so for nearly two years almost nothing important had been accomplished by anyone on the Hill or in the White House. After the 2008 election it was transition time, flocks and herds of thoroughly demoralized Republican staff began leaving Washington in search of greener pastures, Congress adjourned for the Holidays, Democrats came house hunting, and Clinton and Newsom began the briefings they would get from a fully cooperative Bush administration on the state of the nation and the state of the world they would inherit and have to cope with for the next four years, or eight, and in those last weeks of November both Hillary and Gavin seemed to age rather quickly. The exhilaration of the campaign was over, and the weight of a tumultuous world began to settle on their shoulders.

Back in early October, 2006, North Korean President (for life) Kim Jong Il had announced the detonation of a nuclear bomb deep in a tunnel in the stony mountains of North Korea. The seismic signature had been small, and American intelligence at first doubted whether it had been a nuclear explosion at all. Traces of radioactive emissions were detected a few days later, and the intelligence estimate revised to conclude that it had been a failed test that produced perhaps only 10% or less of the expected yield, only 0.5 to 1.5 kilotons, not the 20 kilotons, at least, that Western intelligence had anticipated.

Kim Jong Il gloated. The deception had worked. The Americans were thinking in terms of long range intercontinental ballistic missiles with huge warheads that they could shoot out of the sky with their sophisticated billion-dollar anti-missile defense systems. He was thinking in terms of small warheads carried by small, medium range cruise missiles that could be launched from many places, and infiltrated close enough to slip in under the radar and hit America's coastal cities.

On the evening of December 6, 2008, a junior analyst in the National Security Agency was going over routine satellite photo production of ship movements in the Atlantic and Pacific within a thousand miles of the US coasts. Late in the shift he thought he saw something through a haze of fatigue and caffeine, and called a supervisor over to talk.

"Look," he said, photos up on several computer screens, more printed out and spread across his desk, "See? These boats, not big ships, fishing boats, yachts, they've been moving in along shipping lanes for several days, across from the South Pacific toward the West coast, up from the South Atlantic toward the east. Nothing very unusual, they're all small and slow, and scattered up and down the oceans, it seems, but if you look at the times and coarses . . ." and he pulled out a chart he had plotted, "They're approaching so they will all arrive at about the same time, or all be about the same distance off the coast at about the same time . . ," he trailed off.

The supervisor looked a bit quizzical. "Coincidence? Probably. You need more sleep. Too much fun in the night, eh? Let me know if you see something we can do something with." And walked away.

At 0723 Hawaii time on the 67th Anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack three old fishing trawlers, about 100 miles apart, and each about 300 miles off the east coast, launched six small cruise missiles from launch tubes that could be dismantled and stored in the holds under ice, or fish, and set up in less than an hour. The missiles were launched at precisely one minute intervals. As soon as each boat had launched its pair, the skeleton crew began to abandon ship into a fast rubber inflatable. The captain was last off, and just before going overboard started the timer on the scuttling charges. Fifteen minutes later and ten miles away, each crew was going up the nets into a small freighter or tanker of Morroccan or Liberian registry, where each man was issued new identification as ship's crew. The rubber inflatables were shot and sunk, and just about then charges in the bilges of each of the three trawlers blew the hulls out, and they sank with no one on board and no distress signals in less than two minutes.

The missiles had been built in a joint operation by North Korea and Iran, and tested in Iran, so they would not have to overfly any other country. The small nuclear warheads had only been tested deep underground. The GPS guidance and detonating systems had worked perfectly, after a few corrections. They flew fifty feet above sea level, and 500 feet above ground level on the last leg of the trip, using computers and terrain data modified from open market technology and flight directors, autopilots, adapted from commercial aviation units. They would adjust speed to arrive on target at specific times and altitudes, and detonate upon reaching the programmed GPS coordinates. They were not as adaptable and intelligent as American cruise missiles, but they did not need to be. Not for this mission.

They were small, less than twenty feet long, and only 18 inches in diameter, powered by small, quiet, fuel-efficient, high-bypass turbofans, and painted in a mottled light blue and light gray ghost camouflage. Cruising at 600 knots, just below the speed of sound, they were nearly impossible to see or hear. They came in under the radar until they reached the coast. After that they were lost in the ground clutter. Nobody saw it coming.

At precisely 0753, Hawaii time, 1353 in the District of Columbia, sixty-seven years to the minute after the Pearl Harbor attack began, the first of six missiles to hit the Washington area exploded in a huge white burst of nuclear fire just 500 feet above the White House, which disappeared in a mist of powdered plaster and stone, concrete and steel. President Bush and President-Elect Clinton had been meeting with Condoleeza Rice and Mrs. Clinton's national security adviser, reviewing the latest National Security Estimate, when they instantaneously turned into a plasma of the atomic elements that had once been human beings. No trace remained.

Alarms immediately began going off all over Washington, and precisely one minute later the second missile exploded just as it struck the Capital dome, instantly turning thousands of tons of granite that had one moment before been the nation's center of government into thousands of tons of granite shrapnel that shredded several square miles of Washington like a leviathan Claymore mine. At precisely one minute intervals, four more 3 kiloton nuclear weapons exploded at an altitude of 500 feet AGL above the Pentagon, the CIA headquarters, the NSA headquarters, the FBI headquarters, all of which were fully staffed in the middle of the day. In five minutes, the government of the United States of America was decapitated, and a quarter million of the people who made the place run were dead, or dying, or had simply disappeared.

Also at 1353 Eastern time, a missIle had blown off just above the New York Stock Exchange, in New York City,and thousands of years of collective financal knowledge and exerience evaporated in the nuclear flame. In one minute intervals, others had hit the financial centers of Boston and Baltimore, and the Naval base at Norfolk, Virginia.

Simultaneously, within the same 10-minute window of hell, nuclear tipped cruise missles devastated the largest intermodel shipping facility on the West coast at San Pedro harbor, exploded just above the Library Tower in central Los Angeles, and short circuited the computer technology ghetto of Silicon Valley in Santa Clara County, big time. One exploded ten feet away from the top of the Bank of America Building in San Francisco and set much of the east slope of the city ablaze. Another giant fireball flared among the phalanx of office towers along the Capitol Mall in Sacramento, instantly obliterating Arnold Schwarzenegger and the state government of California, the largest state economy in the US, the seventh largest economy in the world. Two ripped open the heart of Portland, Oregon, one shattered the financial district of Seattle, and the last one turned the Microsoft campus into a pillar of fire and smoke, wiping from the face of history, in a second, the IT giant that had revolutionized global communications.

It was 0803, Hawaii time. Ten minutes.

Three million Americans dead. And not a trace of the assault fleet remaind on the surface of any ocean.

Vice-President Elect Gavin Newsom was in his bedroom at home in Pacific Heights, his window overlooking the Golden Gate and the Marin bluffs. He thought he heard an oddly loud crack of thunder and saw a flash reflected on the the hills across the inlet, but it was a clear day and nothing else seemed out of place. He continued packing for the return trip to Washington, his second since the election, to continue his transition briefings and begin organizing his staff. His nomination as Hillary's running mate had come as a huge surprise, and he was elated.

Someone rapped on the door, loudly, twice, and without waiting for a reply the senior Secret Service officer on his detail opened it and stepped quickly in. "Come with me, now," he said. Gavin was startled. "I need to finish packing," he replied.

"No time, sir. Something has happened. Very big. I fear. No details yet. We have to get you out of here, NOW! RIGHT NOW! GO! GO! GO!" He grabbed Newsom's arm, swung him around, and pushed him out the door, where two other Secret Service agents flanked him down the stairs and out to a running black Suburban waiting in the garage. They pushed him into the back seat, jumped in, and the driver gunned the engine, out the drive, down the street, tires squealing. Nobody spoke until they were headed over the Bridge, northbound at seventy-five miles an hour, weaving through the traffic which wasn't yet the gridlock it would soon become.

"What the hell's going on?" he finally demanded.

"Okay. This is what I know," the officer said. "The US has apparently sustained multiple nuclear attacks in the last fifteen minutes, including Washington D.C. and San Francisco. Financial district. We're not sure how many, at least ten, maybe twenty. Lots of dead. Got the White House, the Capital, the Pentagon. Our job is to get you on an airplane at the nearest functioning airport, that'll be Novato, and get you to a safe place. Prestissimo."

"Where?" Newsom asked. Things were moving way too fast now.

"Don't know yet. We'll get orders."

The Air Force Learjet had been airborne for two minutes when a cel phone buzzed, and the Secret Service captain answered it and handed it off to the Vice President Elect. "It's Mr. Cheney, sir," he said.

"Gavin?" Dick Cheney asked. "Yes, sir," Newsom replied, subdued, for the events of the last hour had sobered up his elated mood considerably.

"Okay, Gavin. I don't know what you know, so I'll tell you what I can. There have been approximately 20 nuclear strikes on government and financial targets in the US, about an hour ago. No real damage estimate yet, except that it's awful. A hundred times 9/11, maybe a thousand times. I happened to be at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, and have moved into Cheyenne Mountain to set up a temporary HQ, until we get things sorted out. As you know Cheyenne was vacated by NORAD a few years ago, so we have plenty of space. You will be flown here, nonstop."

"I know you haven't a lot of national and international experience." Cheney had thought of saying that Newsom had none, but Newsom would be too painfully aware of that. He didn't need reminding. "The President is missing and presumed dead. So is Mrs. Clinton. So you may become the next president, in about six weeks. I don't know. The Constitution says the Vice President succeeds a president who is dead or disabled, but it doesn't say what happens if the President Elect dies before being inaugurated. I suppose the Court will have to answer that, if we can cobble one together by then. In the meantime, I will assume you will be inaugurated. You'll have a steep learning curve, a real steep curve. All presidents do, under the best of circumstances, and these are not the best of circumstances."

The next day a hard winter storm roared down the West coast from Alaska, pelting rescue workers in bombed out city centers with hard, cold rain, that did not let up for a week. People alive but injured or trapped in the wreckage died of hypothermia before they were found. Two days later, a cold front out of Canada brought heavy snow to the Northeast. Millions were already without electricity, and in a week of subzero weather hundreds of thousands more died. More than four million, altogether. More than one of every one hundred Americans.

Al Qaeda had picked December 7 because it was the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, and because, just before Christmas, the Infidel holiday, it would destroy the Christmas shopping season so important to so many retailers, driving another nail into the national economy of the Great Satan. And it would destroy the festive spirit of the season for millions of Americans, perhaps for all. The perfect psyop. Psychological warfare. And the weather forecasters had predicted severe winter storms on both coasts during the week immediately after disaster.

Al Qaeda leaders had calculated, correctly, that by turning up the violence in Iraq during the weeks before the 2006 election it could achieve an anti-war Democratic Congress that would vote to end America's wars in the Middle East, and then by turning down the violence in Iraq after the election of an anti-war Democratic Congress, it could lull America into a false sense of safety and security in anticipation of the "peace in our time" that America's new ruling party had promised would follow from what Al Qaeda perceived, correctly, as America's retreat before the unstoppable determination of the Islamic Resistance Movement, the Jihad. America did not call it that, of course. The Americans thought they were just ending a bad and illegal war ginned up by George W. Bush to depose Saddam Hussein who had proven not to have WMDs after all, the ones the Americans had never found, the ones buried in Syria. Al Qaeda saw more clearly. It was a capitulation, a de facto surrender of the Middle East to the coming Islamic Caliphate that would someday rule the world. The martyrs of Islam had beaten the Great Satan to its knees. In time they would cut off its head.

By Christmas, the American economy had imploded. Inflation soared, unemployment soared, businesses closed, cities that had suffered direct hits became ghost towns. Tax revenues evaporated, leaving state governments without funds to pay unemployment benefits or teachers' salaries. With the New York Stock Exchange gone, stock trading ended, and values plummeted. Retirement assets and pension funds disappeared in a wink. Nobody knew what to expect. Real estate crashed, and major banks filed for bankruptcy. With the collapse of the American economy, the largest on earth, the most productive country on earth, with just 5% of the global population producing one third of the global economic output, the rest of the global economy fell into chaos. Oil shipments stopped, food shipments stopped, and in that winter millions of people in third world countries starved to death.

The America era was over.

Raymond S. Kraft

"In the spring of 1941, Nazi Germany was poised to dominate the earth. France, the low countries, Norway, Denmark, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Greece, and much of Poland had been overrun by the Germans. All of Europe, save neutral Sweden and Switzerland, was in the hands of Hitler's friends and allies: dictators or monarchs who ruled fascist Italy, Vichy France, Franco's Spain, Portugal, the Balkan countries, Finland, and above all the Soviet Union."

"A single German division under General Erwin Rommel, sent to rescue beleaguered Italians in Libya, drove Britain's Middle Eastern armies flying and threatened the Suez lifeline; while in Iraq a coup d'etat by the pro-German Rashid Ali cut the land road to India. In Asia, Germany's ally, Japan, was coiled to strike, ready to take Southeast Asia and invade India. No need to involve the United States; by seizing the Indies, Japan could break the American embargo and obtain all the oil needed for the Axis Powers to pursue their war aims.

"Hitler should have sent the bulk of his armies to serve under Rommel, who would have done what Alexander did and Bonaparte failed to do: He would have taken the Middle East and led his armies to India. There he would have linked up with the Japanese. Europe, Asia, and Africa, would have belonged to the coalition of dictators and militarists."

"The Nazi-Soviet-Japanese alliance commanded armed forces and resources that utterly dwarfed the military resources that the holdouts, Britain (with its empire), and the United States, could field. The English-speaking countries would have been isolated in a hostile world and would have had no realistic option but to make their peace with the enemy, retaining some autonomy for a time, perhaps, but doomed ultimately to succumb. Nazi Germany, as leader of the coalition, would have ruled the world."

"Only Hitler's astonishing blunder in betraying and invading his Soviet ally kept it from happening."

David Frompkin, Professor of International Relations and History, Boston University, writing in What If? - Emminent Historians Imagine What Might Have Been (Putnam1999) pp. 308, 309.

History is made, wars are won and lost, cultures and nations and civilizations come and go, rise and fall, as much by blunders as by victories.

The failure of many Americans, including many of the leading Democrats in Congress, and some Republicans, to fully appreciate the persistent, long-term threat posed to America's liberties and survival, and to the future of Liberal Democracies everywhere, by an Islamic Resistance Movement that envisions a world dominated and defined by an Islamic Caliphate of religious totalitarianism, and which will fight any war, make any sacrifice, suffer any hardship, and pay any price to achieve it, may prove to be the kind of blunder upon which the fate of America turns, and falls.

Just In Case You Were Worried That The Government Might Be Getting Serious About The Border...

Yeah, sure Dubya signed a bill for 700 miles of fence on the mexican border, only problem is that it's about 1300 miles too short. But there is something that they are cracking down on concerning the border...

Someone ought to tell the Bush administration that prisons are for criminals, not law-enforcement personnel trying to do their jobs. On Thursday, a federal judge in Texas sentenced two former Border Patrol agents to 11 and 12 years in prison because they shot at a drug smuggler who was evading arrest.

In February 2005, Border Patrol agent Jose Alonso Compean got in a scuffle with smuggler Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila, who was driving a van that carried 743 pounds of marijuana. Agent Compean and fellow Agent Ignacio Ramos shot at Mr. Aldrete-Davila -- they say they thought he had a gun, which Mr. Aldrete-Davila denies. Agent Ramos shot the smuggler in the butt, but because Mr. Aldrete-Davila kept running -- across the border -- they said they thought they did not hit him. The agents picked up their shells and failed to report the shooting. For that violation of agency policy, Agents Ramos and Compean deserved an administrative review and some sort of job-related punishment.

Instead, due to a case of blind and bloodthirsty federal prosecutorial overkill, Agents Ramos and Compean were sentenced to 11 years and 12 years, respectively. Oh, and the smuggler was granted immunity for the 743 pounds of pot and is suing the federal government for $5 million. Crime pays, while going after criminals can land you hard time in prison...

...I should note the feds had offered the agents one year in a plea bargain, the El Paso Times reported, but the agents preferred to go to trial. "They were innocent, why should they take it?" noted T.J. Bonner, president of the agents' union, the National Border Patrol Council. "They trust in the system of justice, and it let them down."

If these agents were gun-happy rogue enforcers, or if they were running a criminal operation, Mr. Sutton would be right to want to put them behind bars. But these are good guys with no other marks against them. Agent Ramos was nominated for Border Patrol Agent of the year in 2005 -- before the drug smuggler got his deal.

So two good agents get 23 years of prison time between them and El Beaner gets to skate on 743 pounds of pot and a shot at a $5 mil lottery on our tax dime. They should have killed the motherfucker and been done with it. But that wouldn't have been very PC, would it?? Don't want to offend anybody, unless it's white Americans, fuck them...

25 October 2006

Wednesday Weird Al - All About The Pentiums

"Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller"


24 October 2006

Little Known Strange Facts From World War II

From Col. D.G. Swinford, USMC, Ret. and history buff. You would really have to dig to get this kind of ringside seat to history:

1: The first German serviceman killed in WW2 was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. . . So much for allies.

2: The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress.)

3: At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced “sink us”), the shoulder patch of the US Army’s 45th Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler’s private train was named "Amerika." All three were soon changed for PR purposes.

4: More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions your chance of being killed was 71%.

5: Generally speaking there was no such thing as an average fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance Japanese ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while a passenger on a cargo plane.

6: It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a mistake. Tracers had different ballistics so (at long range) if your tracers were hitting the target 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction. Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely not something you wanted to tell the enemy. Units that stopped using tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down.

7: When allied armies reached the Rhine the first thing men did was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it) and Gen. Patton (who had himself photographed in the act).

8: German Me-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York City but it wasn’t worth the effort.

9: German submarine U-120 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet.

10: Among the first “Germans” captured at Normandy were several Koreans. They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the German Army until they were captured by the US Army.

11: Following a massive naval bombardment, 35,000 US and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska, in the Aleutian Islands. 21 troops were killed in the firefight. It would have been worse if there had been any Japanese on the island.


An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger." This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year. When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette".

He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women. The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?" With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them's a cannibal."

23 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Eid's A Wrap

Since I was outta town this past weekend, and unable to post, I present you a porcine three-way to wrap up Ramalamadingdong. Whip up these tasty dishes and invite all your muslim friends over for an Eid feast that they'll never forget!!!

Memphis Style Dry Ribs: Corky's Ribs

1 (2 to 2 3/4 pound) slab raw St. Louis cut pork spare ribs
(Right about now ya'll are wondering, "WTF?!? "St. Louis" cut ribs for "Memphis" BBQ?!?". St. Louis cut means there is more meat on the bones than regular ribs. Just ask a woman and she'll tell you a mo' meaty bone is a mo' betta' bone.)
1 1/2 cups water (3 parts)
1/2 cup favorite BBQ sauce (1 part), plus more for basting (recommended: Corky's)
Favorite dry rib seasoning (recommended: Corky's)

Corky's BBQ Gift Pack One bottle of sauce and one bottle of seasoning for $11.99

Preheat a grill to medium heat with all of the coals on 1 side.
Grill over indirect heat (meat side down) for approximately 2 hours, turning once, until internal temperature reaches 185 degrees F.

Baste ribs on both sides during cooking with 3 parts water to 1 part BBQ sauce. Once the ribs reach 185 degrees F, baste again with full strength BBQ sauce and sprinkle liberally with dry rib seasoning.

Lady and Sons Fried Pork Chops

6 cups vegetable oil
2 teaspoons House Seasoning, recipe follows
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
6 pork chops
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup all-purpose flour

House Seasoning

House Seasoning:
1 cup salt
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup garlic powder

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

Heat oil in a large, heavy bottomed pot to 350 degrees F.

Sprinkle the seasonings on both sides of the pork chops, rubbing them thoroughly into the meat. Pour buttermilk over meat and turn to coat on all sides. Season flour generously with House Seasoning, roll each chop into flour, and shake off the excess. Carefully place the chops, 2 at a time, into the hot oil, and cook until the outside is golden brown. Take 1 chop out and make a small cut at the thickest part to check for doneness; adjust time accordingly for the rest. Drain on paper towels before serving.

Good Eats Italian Sausage

1 1/2 teaspoons fennel seed
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
1 tablespoon chopped parsley leaves
2 pounds pork butt (2 1/2 pounds with bone), diced into 1/4-inch pieces
5 feet of 36 millimeter collagen casings (do not allow to get wet at any time)
Shortening, to lubricate nozzle of stuffer

Special equipment: meat grinder with stuffing attachment or manual stuffer

Toast fennel seed in medium sized, heavy saute pan over medium heat, constantly moving seeds around in pan until they start to turn light brown, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool. Once cool, grind seeds and combine with salt, pepper, and chopped parsley in medium mixing bowl. Add pork and blend thoroughly. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Using the fine blade of a grinder, grind the pork. After lubricating stuffer or stuffing attachment with shortening, load casing onto attachment, clipping end with a clothespin. Stuff meat into casings, trying to avoid air pockets. After stuffing is finished lay out on counter and tie off end. Pinch and twist to form 4-inch sausages. Wrap in parchment paper and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours. Store in refrigerator for use within 2 to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months. If freezing, wrap in aluminum foil. If using immediately, saute over medium heat in a heavy saute pan with 1/4-inch of water. Bring water to boil, put on lid and cook for 10 minutes. Remove lid and continue cooking over medium heat, turning every 2 to 3 minutes until golden brown. Sausage should reach an internal temperature of 150 to 156 degrees F.


20 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Perfect Potstickers

This one is for that towel-headed, goat fucking, America hating Muqtada al-Sadr. We shoulda bombed your camel piss drinking ass back when we had a chance you dumb-fuck. I KNEW letting this piece of shit live was gonna come back and bite us in the ass sooner or later.

The fact that the Iraqi "government" works with this motherfucker just tells me that they aren't worth fucking with anymore. I say we just pull out NOW, with the statement, "We'll be back, motherfuckers, after you've torn yourselves to pieces, and we're gonna carpet bomb the rest of you into dust and take your fucking oil. Since you've proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are incapable to leave the 7th century and live in the 21st, we're DONE shedding blood on a lost cause. SO FUCK OFF AND DIE MOTHERFUCKERS!!"

Perfect Potstickers

1/2 pound ground pork
1/4 cup finely chopped scallions
2 tablespoons finely chopped red bell pepper
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 teaspoons ketchup
1 teaspoon yellow mustard
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon light brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
35 to 40 small wonton wrappers
Water, for sealing wontons
3 to 4 tablespoons vegetable oil, for frying
1 1/3 cups chicken stock, divided

Preheat oven to 200 degrees F.

Combine the first 11 ingredients in a medium-size mixing bowl (pork through cayenne). Set aside.

To form the dumplings, remove 1 wonton wrapper from the package, covering the others with a damp cloth. Brush 2 of the edges of the wrapper lightly with water. Place 1/2 rounded teaspoon of the pork mixture in the center of the wrapper. Fold over, seal edges, and shape as desired. Set on a sheet pan and cover with a damp cloth. Repeat procedure until all of the filling is gone.

Heat a 12-inch saute pan over medium heat. Brush with vegetable oil once hot. Add 8 to 10 potstickers at a time to the pan and cook for 2 minutes, without touching. Once the 2 minutes are up, gently add 1/3 cup chicken stock to the pan, turn the heat down to low, cover, and cook for another 2 minutes. Remove wontons to a heatproof platter and place in the warm oven. Clean the pan in between batches by pouring in water and allowing the pan to deglaze. Repeat until all the wontons are cooked. Serve immediately.


19 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Grilled Peanut Butter Ham

Grilled Peanut Butter Ham

1 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup honey
1 small onion, grated
1 clove garlic, chopped
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon gravy base (recommended: Kitchen Bouquet)
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 center cut ham slices (1 1/2 inches thick)

In a blender, combine the broth, peanut butter, honey, onion, garlic, soy sauce, gravy base and pepper. Put the ham in a shallow glass dish, pour the marinade over it, and marinate for 3 to 4 hours in the refrigerator.

Prepare a charcoal fire. Remove ham from marinade and cook approximately 15 minutes per side over glowing coals. Carve into 1-inch thick slices.


18 October 2006

Wednesday Weird Al - Christmas At Ground Zero

This one goes out to Lil' Kim because if he keeps banging his nuke sippy cup on his high chair trying to get the grown-up's attention, he's likely to find a nasty surprise under the tree this coming christmas.


Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Kentucky Colonel Barbecue Pork Chops

Kentucky Colonel Barbecue Pork Chops

2 1/2 cups water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons oil
1/4 cup vinegar
2 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 cup chopped onion or 2 tablespoons onion powder
2 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon dry mustard
2 teaspoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce
1/2 teaspoons red pepper
1 clove garlic or 1 tablespoon powdered garlic

10 (1-inch thick) pork chops

Combine all ingredients except for the pork chops and bring to a rolling boil. Remove from the heat and cool. Refrigerate sauce overnight to blend flavors.

Heat a grill to medium-high heat.

Apply sauce to chops with dish mop or paint brush. Grill to desired doneness, about 5 minutes per side for medium-well. Baste with sauce each time they are turned.


17 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Jerk Pork Chops

Jerk Pork Chops

2 pounds boneless pork loin
House Seasoning, recipe follows
Seasoning salt
Jerk Spice, recipe follows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Slice pork loin into chops about 3/4-inch-thick. Coat lightly with House Seasoning and seasoning salt. Coat with Jerk Spice, being sure to cover all sides. Bake until cooked through, about 30 minutes.

House Seasoning:

1 cup salt
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup garlic powder

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

Yield: 1 1/2 cups

Jerk Spice:

1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon dried, crushed Scotch bonnet pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon dried chives
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme

Combine all ingredients in a bowl until well-mixed. Store in an airtight container.

Yield: 1/2 cup


16 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Asian-Marinated Pork Loin with Gingered Sweet Potatoes and Five-Spice Apples

Asian-Marinated Pork Loin with Gingered Sweet Potatoes and Five-Spice Apples

Every element in this dish complements the others. The pork, brined to ensure moistness, is ideally set off by the spicy, slightly sweet potatoes, whose warm flavors are echoed by the lightly caramelized apples. This is pork, sweet potatoes, and applesauce--that favorite American triumvirate--from an East-West point of view.

4 cups water
1/3 cup kosher salt
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon dark soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons toasted Szechwan peppercorns
1 tablespoon toasted black peppercorns, plus freshly ground black pepper
4 1/4-inch-thick slices fresh ginger
2 star anise
2 bay leaves
1 4-pound pork loin
2 tablespoons canola oil
Gingered Sweet Potatoes (recipe follows)
Five-Spice Apples (recipe follows)
1/4 cup chives cut into 1-inch lengths, for garnish
2 tablespoons Chile Oil, for garnish (recipe follows)

One day in advance, combine the water, salt, sugar, soy sauce, peppercorns, ginger, anise, and bay leaves in a deep baking dish large enough to hold the pork and stir to mix. Add the pork; if it is not covered, add more water. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Rinse the pork thoroughly with cold water, pat dry, and season with the ground pepper to taste. Heat a large skillet over high heat, add the oil, and swirl to caot the bottom of the pan. When the oil shimmers, add the pork and brown on all sides. Transfer the pork to a roasting pan and roast just until the pork is hot through to the center (about 125 degrees F internal temperature), 25 to 30 minutes. The interior of the pork will remain pink.

Allow the pork to rest for 10 minutes and cut into 1/4-inch slices. Divide the gingered sweet potatoes among 4 plates, surround with the pork, and add the five-spice apples. Garnish with the chives, drizzle with the chile oil, and serve.

Gingered Sweet Potatoes

6 tablespoons butter
6 garlic cloves, peeled
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh ginger
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
4 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Heat a small saucepan over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon of the butter and swirl to coat the bottom of the pan. Add the garlic and ginger and saute, stirring occasionally, until the garlic is brown, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the cream and reduce by one-third over low heat, about 10 minutes. Keep warm.

Meanwhile, combine the sweet potatoes in a large saucepan with enough water to cover them completely. Bring to a boil over high heat and cook until they can be pierced easily with the tip of a knife, 20 to 30 minutes. Drain and trasnfer to a food processor. Add the cream and process until well blended. Add the remaining butter, season with salt and pepper, and puree until smooth. Transfer the potatoes to a bowl, correct the seasonings, and serve.

Five-Spice Apples

2 tablespoons canola oil
1 small red onion, cut into 1/4-inch dice
1 1/2 teaspoons five-spice powder
1 tablespoon brown sugar, packed
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/4-inch dice
1 cup apple juice
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon butter

Add the five-spice powder, brown sugar, apples, and juice. Stir, season with salt and pepper to taste, and cook until the liquid is reduced by half, about 12 minutes. The apples should retain their shape and some liquid should remain in the pan; do not overcook. Stir in the butter and correct the seasonings. Serve warm.

For the Five-Spice Apples: Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the oil and swirl to coat the bottom of the pan. When the oil shimmers, add the onion and saute, stirring, until brown, about 8 to 10 minutes.

Chile Oil

1/2 cup chile powder, such as ancho, chimayo, or pasilla
1/2 tablespooon ground cumin
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups canola oil

For the Chile Oil: In a medium skillet, combine the chile powder, cumin, and salt, and heat over medium heat just until the mixture begins to smoke. Whisk in the oil and remove from the stove.

Allow the chile oil to cool, transfer it to a glass jar, and let stand overnight. Cover and use or store. The oil will separate from the solids; use the red oil only.


14 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Roasted Pork Chimichanga

Roasted Pork Chimichanga

Roasted Pork and Caramelized Onion filling, recipe follows
Vegetable oil, for frying
12 flour tortillas
Corn and Goat Queso, recipe follows
1/2 cup creme fraiche
2 medium avocados, peeled and diced
1 ear sweet corn, fire roasted and kernels removed
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley leaves

When you've completed the Roast Pork, preheat oil in a deep fryer.

Fill each flour tortilla with 1/4 cup of the filling. Fold the sides in and roll the tortilla up. Secure each tortilla with 2 toothpicks. Fry a couple of the chimichangas at a time until golden brown, about 3 to 4 minutes. Remove and drain on paper towels. Season with salt.

To serve, place each chimichanga on a serving plate. Spoon some of the Corn and Goat Cheese Queso over the top. Garnish with a dollop of cream fraiche, avocados, fire roasted corn kernels, and parsley.

Roasted Pork and Caramelized Onion Filling:

1 (5 to 5 1/2 pound) pork butt, bone in, untrimmed
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cup canned chopped green chilies
1/2 pound queso Fresco cheese or any meltable white cheese, such as Monterey Jack

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Season the pork with salt and pepper. Place in a medium roasting pan and add 1/2 cup of water. Place in the oven and roast for 1 hour. Reduce the heat to 350 degrees F and continue to cook for 3 hours. Remove from the oven and cool completely. In a large saute pan, over medium heat, add the oil. When the oil is hot, add the onions. Season with salt and pepper. Saute until the onions are caramelized, about 8 to 10 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat and cool completely. When the pork is cool, remove any excess fat and the bone. Shred the meat into bite-size pieces. In a mixing bowl, combine the pork, onions, chilies and cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Mix thoroughly.

Yield: about 3 1/2 cups

Corn and Goat Queso:

2 tablespoons butter
1 cup chopped yellow onion
4 cups fresh sweet corn kernels, from 2 medium-size ears
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch cayenne
1/2 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 medium-size fresh jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 pound goat cheese, crumbled
1 cup heavy cream

In a medium size saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the onion, corn, salt and cayenne and cook, stirring, for about 6 minutes. Add the garlic and jalapeno, stir to mix, and cook for 2 minutes. Add the cheese and cream and stir until the cheese melts completely. Reseason if necessary. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Yield: about 4 1/2 cups


13 October 2006

Re: North Korea and America

The following is my response to an IM that I got from a friend over at another website about a comment he got from some smelly hippie tree hugging fuckwit regarding Dubya and Iraq...

"Islamofascist" is plainly an idiotic phrase, but I'm not going to get into that one.

He's not going to get into that one because you can't argue with the truth.

As far as his "terrible job,"

Doing a better job than the other two idiots we had to chose from in the last two Presidential elections would have done...

he's wasting HUGE amounts of our money...

Bullets, bombs, beans and bandages are expensive bitch...

over a war whose reasons were blatantly fabricated, evidence manipulated,

I guess he missed the 500+ chemical weapon warheads the Troops found over there, and they've barely scratched the surface. I guess the thousands of Kurds that Saddam killed were "gassed" with his farts instead of nerve gas...

and designed primarily for private corporations' economic gain...

As I mentioned, Bullets, bombs, beans and bandages are expensive, and we are a capitalistic country. Ergo, he who makes said items will make money from their sale.

and to let him get a hard-on by calling himself a "war president."

I'm not very good at math but lemme give this a shot... "State of War" + "Being President" = "War President". THEY started this shit when THEY flew the planes into the buildings. Or did he sleep thru that Tuesday??

Aside from all of the other grievances I have with this idiotic administration, the big ones are the pointless and unjust war under false pretenses,

I believe that I just explained why this statement is bullshit...

the exponentially-growing number of no-bid contracts rewarded to corporations associated with the administration,

If the "XYZ Company" can do the job mo' better and mo' quicker, it would be stupid to give the job to "ABC Company" just to be PC.

and absolutely jaw-dropping staffing decisions like putting someone with no emergency management experience in charge of FEMA, then saying that he's doing "a heck of a job."

The fact that the clusterfuck in New Orleans is mainly the fault of the democrapic government in Louisiana not withstanding (if you need evidence, just look at Chocolate City's mayor, Raycist Nagro's fleet of yellow submarines sitting un-used).

What the fuck does it have to do with the War on terrorism?? Appointing political cronies that help out in a campaign to office, irregardless of their qualifications, is a long standing tradition in D.C. And their hero BJ Klintoon is just as guilty as the rest.

Let he who is without bullshit cast the first stone.

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Scrap Iron Chef's Bacon

Scrap Iron Chef's Bacon

1 cup sugar
1 cup salt
8 ounces molasses
1/2 gallon (2 quarts) water
1/2 gallon (2 quarts) apple cider
2 tablespoons course ground black pepper
1 (5 pound) piece raw pork belly from the loin-end

In a large non-reactive pot, bring half the water, 1 cup of sugar, salt, and 8 ounces molasses to a boil. Stir to dissolve the sugar. Pour into a large container with the remaining water, and the apple cider. Place in the refrigerator and cool to 40 degrees F.

Press the black pepper into the pork belly. Once the brine has cooled place the peppered pork belly into the mixture until completely submerged. Refrigerate for three days.

After three days have passed, remove the pork from the brine and pat dry with paper towels. Lay on a rack over a sheet pan and place in front of a fan for 1 hour to form a pellicle. Lay the pork in the protein box of a cold smoker and smoke for 4 to 6 hours. Chill the meat in the freezer for 1 hour to stiffen for easy slicing into strips of bacon. Slice what you need and keep the remainder in a freezer safe bag in the refrigerator or freezer.

Place the strips of bacon onto a sheet pan fitted with a rack and place into a cold oven. Turn the oven to 400 degrees F and cook for about 12 to 15 minutes, depending on how crispy you like your bacon. Remove from rack and drain on paper towels. Enjoy.


12 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Pancetta Wrapped Pork Roast

Pancetta Wrapped Pork Roast

8 large garlic cloves
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 (3 1/2 to 4-pound) tied boneless pork loin roast
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 ounces thinly sliced pancetta
1 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups dry white wine

Blend the garlic, rosemary, thyme, and oil in a small food processor, scraping down the sides of the bowl occasionally, until the garlic is minced.

Sprinkle the pork roast generously with salt and pepper. Arrange the pancetta slices on a work surface, overlapping slightly and forming a rectangle. Spread half of the garlic mixture over 1 side of the pork and between the 2 loins that meet in the center of the tied pork roast. Place the pork, garlic mixture side down, in the center of the pancetta rectangle. Spread the remaining garlic mixture over the remaining pork. Wrap the pancetta slices around the pork. Place the pork in a roasting pan. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour and up to 1 day.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Pour 1/2 cup of broth and 1/2 cup of wine into the roasting pan. Add more broth and wine to the pan juices every 20 minutes. Roast the pork until a meat thermometer inserted into the center registers 145 degrees F for medium-rare, about 1 hour. Transfer the pork to a cutting board. Tent with aluminum foil and let stand for 10 minutes. Pour the pan drippings into a glass measuring cup and spoon off any fat that rises to the top.

Using a large sharp carving knife, cut the pork into 1/4-inch-thick slices and serve with the pan juices.


11 October 2006

Wednesday Weird Al - This Is The Life

I've gone back and revised the Wed. Weird Al links so that they play in my blog instead of having to go to a different site...


Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Jerk Pork Sandwich

Jerk Pork Sandwich

1 lean pork tenderloin
Dry jerk seasoning, recipe follows
Jerk sauce, recipe follows
4 French baguettes, split
Spicy mustard (recommended: Cajun flavored)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Rub the tenderloin with the dry jerk seasoning. Bake uncovered for 3 hours. Start basting the tenderloin with Jerk Sauce after the first hour. When done, let sit until cooled before slicing. Slice 6 ounces (per sandwich) of the tenderloin and layer it on the split baguette. Baste the pork again with the jerk sauce, then close the baguette and grill until golden brown, pressing throughout the cooking process. You may also use a sandwich press, if available. Serve with spicy mustard.

Dry Jerk Seasoning:
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon dehydrated onion
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon ground black pepper

Combine ingredients together.

Jerk Sauce:
1/2 cup crushed pineapple
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder
1/4 teaspoon thyme

Combine all ingredients.


10 October 2006

Doomed If I Do, Doomed If I Don't

So, one day I'm at the Doc's office getting a 'script for Gout meds and he's like, "Do you know you have high blood pressure??". And I reply that ever since I can remember it's been running at around 130/90, even when I was young and in shape in boot camp, why?? And he informs me that it's now around 180/110. And I reply Holy Shit!!

Having a family history of heart disease AND stroke, I figure that I oughta do something help keep my ticker from going on strike or winding up with baked taters for brains. So he proceded to put me on Lisinopril to get it under control. And after a couple of months, it's down to around 125/85. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

Fast forward to today. While watching Fox News today, I catch a glimpse of the word "Lisinopril" go by on the news crawler at the bottom of the screen. So I sit and wait for two commercial cycles to catch it again and see what's up. I finally see it again and find out it's possibly connected to 21 deaths. Once again, HOLY SHIT!! But I missed where the story comes from, so I cruise on over to the Fox News site and do a search and find this:
Medication Possible Factor in 21 Deaths

Monday, October 09, 2006

PANAMA CITY, Panama — Panamanian authorities say they suspect a medicine taken to treat high blood pressure may be among the factors leading to the deaths of 21 people since July who have succumbed to a mysterious illness that triggers kidney failure.

The 21st victim died either late Sunday or early Monday morning, said Panamanian public health official Rosario Turner said Monday. She did not specify the exact hour of death, or the age or gender of the patient, but said officials would release more details later.

On Friday, Panama's health minister stopped sales of the medication, Lisinopril Normon, and began removing it from pharmacy shelves. About 9,000 Panamanians take the medicine.

Authorities said they did not believe the medication had been tampered with.

The drug's Spanish manufacturer, generic drug maker Normon SA, issued a statement denying that its medicine was the cause and adding that there have been no problems in other countries where it is sold.

The illness thus far mostly has affected people older than 60. Other symptoms of the illness include vomiting, diarrhea and fever.

Well, lemme see here Monty...
Door #1 - Heart Attack...
Door #2 - Stroke...
Door #3 - Kidney Failure... Can I go for what's in the box??

The up side is that I know Panama City ain't in the most civilized part of the world. It sits in middle of a friggin' jungle in which you can find hundreds of diseases that also have vomiting, diarrhea and fever as some of their symptoms, and that's just the ones we KNOW of.

The down side is that I know that cruel bitch Fate will piss in my Capt. Crunch whenever she gets a chance. I don't recall signing a release form giving nature the rights to make my ass old, this is bullshit and I want my money back.

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Bacon-Wrapped Gulf Shrimp with Creamy White Cheddar Grits, Crispy Spinach and a Sweet Spicy Tomato Jam

Bacon-Wrapped Gulf Shrimp with Creamy White Cheddar Grits, Crispy Spinach and a Sweet Spicy Tomato Jam

18 strips bacon
18 jumbo shrimp (16-20's) about 1 1/4 pounds
1 1/2 teaspoons Essence, recipe follows
1/4 cup olive oil
1 recipe Cheesy Grits, recipe follows
1 recipe Fried Spinach, recipe follows
1 recipe Tomato Jam, recipe follows

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cut 2 inches off of each strip of bacon and reserve the short pieces for another use. Place the trimmed strips of bacon on a sheet pan and bake the bacon until slightly pink and some of the fat has rendered out of it, about 6 minutes. While the bacon is cooking, peel the shrimp, leaving the tails attached. Devein and set aside, refrigerated, until ready to use.

Remove the pan from the oven and allow the bacon to cool. Once the bacon is cool enough to handle, season the shrimp with the Essence and wrap a strip of the parcooked bacon around each shrimp, slightly overlapping the bacon as you twist it around the shrimp. Set aside and repeat with the remaining shrimp and bacon slices.

Set a 12-inch saute pan over medium heat, and add the olive oil to the pan. Once the oil is hot, lay the shrimp in the pan and cook for 2 1/2 minutes. Turn the shrimp over and cook another 2 1/2 minutes.

Serve the shrimp over the top of Cheesy Grits and garnish with the Fried Spinach. Drizzle the Tomato Jam decoratively over each plate.

Emeril's ESSENCE Creole Seasoning:

2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon dried thyme

Combine all ingredients thoroughly.

Yield: 2/3 cup

Cheesy Grits:

6 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 cups quick cooking or old-fashioned grits (not instant)
2 cups milk
1 cup heavy cream
8 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper
1 1/2 cups shredded white Cheddar

In a large, heavy saucepan bring the water to a boil. Add a generous teaspoon of salt and the grits and stir with a wooden spoon to combine. When the grits thicken, add the milk, cream and butter and return to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover the saucepan and cook for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until the grits are tender, smooth and creamy. Taste and season the grits with the remaining salt and pepper. (If the grits seem too runny simply allow to cook a bit longer, uncovered and stirring frequently, until the desired consistency is reached.) Fold the cheese into the grits, and keep covered and warm until ready to use.

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes

Fried Spinach:

1/2 pound baby spinach
Salt and pepper

Preheat a fryer or large Dutch oven half-filled with vegetable oil to 350 degrees F. Place the spinach in the oil and fry until dark green and crispy, 30 to 45 seconds. Remove from the oil and place on a paper-lined sheet pan and season with salt and pepper. Set aside until ready to use.

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 1 minute

Tomato Jam:

1 cup peeled, seeded and chopped tomatoes
1/2 cup rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
1 tablespoon honey
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon toasted, ground coriander

Combine all the ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until most of the liquid has evaporated, about 20 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and allow to cool to room temperature before serving.

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes


Revenge On Telemarketers

Click on the title to hear Tom Mabe get revenge on a telemarketer, as heard on The Bob & Tom Show...

(From Mabe's website...)
Meet Tom Mabe. Tom was an ordinary man in every sense of the word. He had a loving wife, two children, a mortgage and a prostate condition.

Newly self-employed and working from home, Tom would jump with excitement each time the phone rang.

It wasn't long, however, before Tom learned to loathe the ringing of the phone because of that most dreaded of annoyances.


They would call all the time -- during dinner, nap-time, and family-time.

Finally, he had enough. He decided to mess with the minds of the people who would call trying to sell him carpet cleaning services. "What is your fee for removing human blood stains?"

Armed with a quick wit, a tape recorder and a Volkswagen Beetle in the shape of a telephone, Tom is out to get REVENGE ON THE TELEMARKETERS!

09 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Sauteed Pork Chops with Sherry-Berry Pan Gravy and Rhubarb Chutney

Sauteed Pork Chops with Sherry-Berry Pan Gravy and Rhubarb Chutney

4 (8-ounce) boneless, center cut pork loin chops
6 tablespoons butter, divided
3 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice, a wedge
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 to 3 stalks rhubarb, trimmed and chopped, about 1/2 pound yield
Handful golden raisins
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan
Salt and pepper
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sherry
1/2 cup chicken or beef stock
2 tablespoons strawberry, blackberry or raspberry all-fruit preserves (recommended: Polaner)

In a medium skillet over medium heat melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Add sugar, lemon juice, vinegar and bring to a bubble. Add rhubarb and raisins and cook 10 to 12 minutes until rhubarb is tender. Turn off the heat and set aside until the pork chops are done.

Place a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat with extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan. When the oil smokes or ripples, add chops, season with salt and pepper and cook 6 minutes on each side. Remove the chops and keep warm under foil tent while the meat rests. Add remaining butter to pan, when it melts add the flour and cook a minute then whisk in sherry and reduce 30 seconds then whisk in stock then preserves. Season the gravy with a little black pepper. Serve chops with gravy ladled over top and rhubarb chutney along side.


08 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole

I saw this one and thought, "How could this NOT be good??" I'd bet even Mo-ham-head (pork fat be upon him) would like this for Sunday after mosque dinner...

Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole

12 slices white bread
8 large slices deli ham
4 bananas, sliced on the bias
2 cups shredded Cheddar
2 cups crushed potato chips
6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
4 large eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Butter a 9 by 13 glass baking dish. Butter both sides of the bread and layer 6 of them into the bottom of the baking dish, overlapping them as necessary but keep them even. Layer the slices of ham on top of the bread and then the bananas, 6 more slices of bread, then the cheese, potato chips, and bacon. In a separate bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Pour this over the casserole almost to the top. Bake for 45 minutes until brown and bubbly. Cut into squares and remove with a spatula, like lasagna.


Work Blogging (Or, I Met 50 Cent's "Dee Dee Dee" Cousin Tonight)

Filling in this weekend so one of the regulars can have a weekend off. Last night and tonight have been dully routine up until about 15 minutes ago.

I was out on the property doing a maintainence check of the electronic lock on one of the doors on the second floor, and as I was walking along the balconey I noticed a couple of people in the parking lot getting out of their car. No big deal, couple of wanna-be thuggie-types that don't know how to pull their pants up.

I do a quick check of the lock and find out it's FUBAR and needs to be replaced. As I'm turning to go back to the office, I hear something clatter on the parking lot, and one of the thugs says, "Oh shit, I dropped my gun."


I move to the rail and draw my P90 all in one movement, and that's the first clue the thugs have that they aren't alone in the parking lot. Their second clue is that the other person is armed and has the drop on them. I quickly see hands in the air. (Good move on their part. Probably the first smart thing they've done in a while.)

I'm holding my weapon at low-ready, and the one that dropped his gun says,"OH SHIT!! Dude, it's just a cap gun!!" and points to it and indicates he want's to prove it. I flip the safety off and raise it just a little and nod for him to CAREFULLY AND SLOWLY pick it up and show it to me.

He complies and as he stands up, and I see that's it's a FUCKING TEN YEAR OLD'S COWBOY GUN!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! What the hell is a 20+ year old doing with a cap pistol??? He points it away toward the other side of the street and clicks it a few times to show me it's only a toy, so I lower my REAL GROWNUP'S GUN, and put it back on SAFE and put it away.

I turn and start walking back toward the office, casting cautious glances over my shoulder and seeing them scurry into their room as fast as they can to clean the shit outta their sagging pants. I guess if he'd turn off MTV once in a while maybe he'd catch a news story about how people get shot and killed for doing stupid shit like that at three o'clock in the morning. He's lucky I'm not prone to panic and that I know how much paperwork is involved in a shooting, and I HATE paperwork...

They'll probably complain to Management in the morning, something about some cracker asshole pulling a gun on them or some shit like that... Big Fucking Deal. Since the Manager is my Ol' Lady, I wonder who she'll believe, me or "Ain't Got No Cents"???

07 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Green Beans with New Potatoes

3 pounds fresh green beans
1/4 pound salt pork, sliced
1/4 cup bacon grease
2 cups chicken broth, plus more if needed
2 to 3 teaspoons House Seasoning, recipe follows
12 small red potatoes
1 onion, cut into slivers
1/2 stick unsalted butter, sliced
Ground black pepper

This time out, pork is not the main ingredient but is used for seasoning in the form of pork fat and salt pork.

Green Beans with New Potatoes

Remove the ends from the beans. Snap the beans in 2 pieces, place into a colander, wash, and set aside to drain.

Meanwhile, in a large cast iron Dutch oven, lightly brown the salt pork in the bacon grease over medium heat, turning often, for approximately 10 minutes. Toss the green beans into the pot, stirring them with a wooden spoon to coat well with the pork fat. Add the broth and House Seasoning. Cook over medium-low heat, covered tightly, for approximately 30 minutes, or until the beans are half done.

While the beans are cooking, peel a center strip from each new potato with a potato peeler. At the end of 30 minutes, add the potatoes and onion to the beans; add 1/4 cup more broth, if needed. Cook, covered tightly, until the potatoes are tender, approximately 25 to 30 minutes, periodically checking the pot to make sure a small amount of liquid remains. When the potatoes are tender, tilt the lid slightly, off to the side of the pot, and continue to cook until the green beans are wilted, approximately 15 minutes. While cooking, add the butter and season with pepper.

House Seasoning:

1 cup salt
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup garlic powder
Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.


Saturday South Park - Die Hippies Die

This week, Cartman sets out on a great quest... To save South Park from a hippie infestation. He notices a disturbing pattern of hippie drum circles and fears that it could lead to a full blown hippie music jam festival. At first no one listens to his warnings, but eventually they realize that he is the only one that can save them from the dreaded hippies.

06 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Pork Tenderloin Stuffed with Prosciutto and Dried Fruit with Port Wine Sauce

Pork Tenderloin Stuffed with Prosciutto and Dried Fruit with Port Wine Sauce

1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup dried cherries
1 cup Tawny Port
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup minced shallots
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 cup fine dry breadcrumbs
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
Pinch salt
Pinch freshly ground black pepper
4 ounces goat cheese, crumbled
4 ounces prosciutto, thinly sliced
2 (3/4 pound to 1 pound each) pork tenderloins, butterflied and pounded slightly to an even thickness between sheets of plastic wrap
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
Pear and Parsnip Puree, recipe follows
Port Wine Sauce, recipe follows
Fresh thyme sprigs, for garnish

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a small bowl, combine the raisins and cranberries.

In a small saucepan, bring the Port to a simmer. Pour over the dry fruit and let sit until plump, about 10 minutes. Drain well and let the fruit cool.

In a medium skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the shallots and garlic and cook, stirring, until soft, about 1 minute. Add the bread crumbs, thyme, salt, and pepper and stir until the bread crumbs are lightly toasted, about 1 minute. Remove from the heat and let cool.

In a medium bowl, combine the cooled fruit and bread crumb mixture. Add the cheese and stir to combine.

Lay the prosciutto slices over the butterflied pork to cover. Starting about 1/2-inch from the bottom and leaving 1/2-inch on either side, lay the bread crumb mixture in a uniform line across the meat. Pull the bottom edge of meat up and over the filling and roll up into a thick cylinder. Using butcher's twine, tie the meat to seal. Rub with vegetable oil on all sides and lightly season with salt and pepper.

In a large ovenproof skillet or roasting pan, sear the meat on all sides over medium-high heat, 3 to 5 minutes. Place in the oven and roast until cooked through and an instant-read thermometer registers an internal temperature of 155 degrees F to 160 degrees F, about 35 minutes.

Remove from the oven and let rest for 10 minutes before carving. To serve, remove the butcher's twine from the roast and carve into slices about 1/2-inch thick. Spoon the Pear and Parsnip Puree onto the sides of 4 plates. Arrange the slices next to the puree, drizzle with the Port Wine Sauce and garnish with thyme sprigs.

Port Wine Sauce:

1 (750ml) bottle Tawny Port
1 cup veal stock
1 stick very cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces

In a medium saucepan, bring the Port to a boil. Reduce the heat and cook at a low boil until reduced to a thick syrup, 1/4 to 1/3 cup in volume. Add the stock and cook until thick and reduced by half. Reduce the heat to low, and whisking constantly, add the butter several pieces at a time, adding more butter once the previous pieces have nearly been incorporated, removing the pan from the heat occasionally to prevent the sauce from getting too hot and breaking. Continue until the sauce is emulsified and all the butter has been added.

Yield: about 3/4 cup

Pear and Parsnip Puree:

1 1/2 pounds parsnips, peeled and chopped
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
4 ripe Anjou pears, peeled, cored, and cut into 1-inch pieces
2 tablespoons Frangelico or other nut-flavored liqueur such as Nocello
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.

In a baking dish, combine the parsnips, 2 tablespoons of the butter, the brown sugar, cinnamon, and allspice and cover tightly with aluminum foil. Bake until the parsnips are tender, about 45 minutes. Remove from the oven and uncover.
In a large skillet, melt 1 tablespoon of the butter over medium heat. Add the pears and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. Add the liqueur and tilt the pan to ignite the contents. (Alternately, remove from the heat, light with a match, and return to the heat.) Cook while flaming for 2 minutes. Transfer to a food processor.

In a skillet, melt the remaining 3 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. Cook, swirling the pan, until the butter is golden brown and has a nutty aroma. Add the browned butter, baked parsnips and their cooking liquid to the food processor. Puree on high speed for 30 seconds. Add the sour cream, salt, and pepper and process until smooth. Serve immediately or cover to keep warm until ready to serve.

Yield: 5 cups, 4 to 6 servings


05 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan:

Who Loves Ya Baby-Back?

2 whole slabs pork baby back ribs

Dry Rub:
8 tablespoons light brown sugar, tightly packed
3 tablespoons kosher salt
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon jalapeno seasoning
1/2 teaspoon Old Bay Seasoning
1/2 teaspoon rubbed thyme
1/2 teaspoon onion powder

Braising Liquid:
1 cup white wine
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon honey
2 cloves garlic, chopped

Preheat oven to 250 degrees.

In a bowl, combine all dry ingredients and mix well. Place each slab of baby back ribs on a piece of heavy-duty aluminum foil, shiny side down. Sprinkle each side generously with the dry rub. Pat the dry rub into the meat. Refrigerate the ribs for a minimum of 1 hour. In a microwavable container, combine all ingredients for the braising liquid. Microwave on high for 1 minute.

Place the ribs on a baking sheet. Open one end of the foil on each slab and pour half of the braising liquid into each foil packet. Tilt the baking sheet in order to equally distribute the braising liquid. Braise the ribs in the oven for 2 1/2 hours.

Transfer the braising liquid into a medium saucepot. Bring the liquid to a simmer and reduce by half or until of a thick syrup consistency. Brush the glaze onto the ribs. Place under the broiler just until the glaze caramelizes lightly. Slice each slab into 2 rib bone portions. Place the remaining hot glaze into a bowl and toss the rib portions in the glaze.

*This recipe makes several batches of dry rub. If more rub is needed, it can be extended by any amount, as long as the ratio of 8:3:1:1 remains the same.


04 October 2006

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Korean-Style Pork Wraps With Chili Sauce

Korean-Style Pork Wraps With Chili Sauce

1 1/2 pounds pork tenderloin, trimmed
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
4 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
2 tablespoons Sriracha hot chili sauce
4 teaspoons honey
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted
1 1/2 cups cooked jasmine rice
1 head Boston, Bibb, or butter lettuce, leaves separated, washed, and patted dry

Wrap the pork tenderloin in several sheets of plastic wrap and place in the freezer for 40 minutes. (This is to make it easier to thinly slice, so make sure it doesn't freeze completely.)

In a medium mixing bowl, combine the soy sauce, sugar, 2 teaspoons of the sesame oil, green onion, garlic, and ginger. Whisk together until the sugar dissolves.

Take the pork out of the freezer and unwrap on a clean cutting board. Slice the pork into thin strips, about 1/4-inch thick, 1/4-inch wide, and 2 1/2 inches long. Place the pork strips in the soy marinade, cover, and refrigerate for 1 hour.

In a small mixing bowl, combine the Sriracha hot chili sauce, the honey, and the remaining 2 teaspoons of sesame oil. Stir to combine. Set aside.

When the pork has marinated, take the bowl out of the refrigerator and let it sit at room temperature for 15 minutes.

Heat the vegetable oil in a large skillet over high heat. Using a slotted spoon, remove the pork from the marinade and carefully place in the skillet. (Be careful that the drippings don't splatter out of the pan.) Cook the pork, stirring constantly with tongs or a wooden spoon, 4 to 5 minutes, until the pork is cooked through. Remove from the heat and stir in the sesame seeds.

To serve, spoon several tablespoons of rice into the center of a lettuce leaf, taco-style. Top with a few pork strips and drizzle with a few drops of the chili mixture. Roll up and eat!


03 October 2006

"Sex, Sex, Sex.... It's All They Think About."

North Korea and Iran are on the fast track to becoming nuclear powers, both want to use their weapons on us, and both have the ability to deliver a nuke to our shores. One has ICBM's, the other, muslim terrorists willing to kill themselves in order to kill us. And given half a chance, both would nuke us in a heartbeat. And North Korea has announced they'll be conducting an undergroung nuke test soon.

The border with Mexico is as porous as it has ever been and shows NO sign of improving anytime soon. Meanwhile, millions of illegal invaders are free to enter our country at will, and they have flat out told us that they want to take over The United States. And in my opinion, that is tantamount to a Declaration of War.

3000+ American Soliders, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen have been killed in a war that is, as much as I hate to admit it, starting to resemble Viet Nam. American Troops went in with the overwhelming ability and fire-power to kick the shit out of our enemies inside of six months. But instead the idiots in D.C. have ham-strung them and bound their hands with fucking bullshit PC rules of engagement to avoid "offending" the enemy. What the fuck is up with that?? And more shades of Deja Vu, American corporations are making billions of dollars, either directly or indirectly from the effects of the war.

(Jesus, did I just say that?!?! I sound like a goddam smelly hippy!!)

But what is on the minds of all the talking-heads on the news programs?? Let's all say it together, kids...


All that has been in the news for the past week is news stories about who's having illicit sex with whom. Guy in Colorado who sexually abused then killed a female student. Guy in Pennsylvania who took several girls hostage with the intention of sexually abusing them. What other conclusion can you draw from the evidence?? History of sexually abusing young girls, and he told his wife he dreamed about doing it again, he released the adults and male students, only keeping the young females. Had the cops not forced his hand, I'm sure he would have shagged them before he bagged them. Congress Critters who have a history of, as the old joke goes, "Bending their pages over", internet chatting about jacking off with a 16 y/o male page.

There was a third shooting at a school this past week, some punk shot his principal, but since nobody got fucked, only fucked-up, it quickly dropped off the scope.

As I type this, Greta van GossipColumn is just over 3/4 of the way thru her waste of TV time, and has dedicated most of the show to freak sex-based stories. The first HALF was about the Amish School shooting, and fishing for the lurid freak sex details. The last story was all about the battle between two guys who want the bragging rights to be able to say "DUDE!! I TOTALLY BANGED Anna Nichole Skank and knocked her up!!" Scarface is the worst of the lot, 90+% of the time, if her lips are flapping about it, you can bet money it's about freak sex-based crimes. Remember the MONTHS she spent on the Holloway story??

The main story on the other networks is the Foley internet IM's with his underage pages, mainly because it's bad for the GOP, but it's also freak sex to boot. The Congress Critters from both sides are loving this one, 'cause it's taking the peon's attention away from holding their feet to the fire on the topics I mentioned at the beginning of this. Why do anything about major threats to The United States that they are abso-fucking-lutely clueless about how to solve when everybody is looking the other way to see the freak sex show?? Now it's becoming "What can we do "For The Children" to protect them from freak sex?? Who knew what and when did they know about freak sex??"

And the worst part is the "Holier-Than-Thou" attitude these talking heads and congress critters adopt when talking about it. If more of these fuckwits would go out and watch some Midget Sisters strip shows and get some blow jobs once in a while, mebbe they wouldn't be so fascinated by sex and could talk about it without having to wipe drool from their chins during the commercial breaks.


I'm not saying that we shouldn't protect kids from sex freaks, but to me the Foley story is pretty much a non-starter. Everybody knows teenaged males are hornier than a three-peckered billy goat, and most of the time their minds are occupied with getting their piddles diddled with. The rest of the time, they're asleep, dreaming about sex. And if this kid was 17 at the time, as I have read somewhere, in his home state of Louisiana he has reached the age of consent, and if he wants to jack off over the 'net with a old fuck congress critter, that's his business. And if he's old enough to be left alone without his folks in D.C. and smart enough to get into the Page Program, I think he's capable of deciding if he wants to have 'net freak sex with an old man.

So all you talking heads go out and get laid, and get back to the business of informing the unwashed masses about REAL threats to this country, the people who want to kill us and destroy our country and the fuckheaded clowns that don't know how to stop them who are running this circus.

UPDATE: New evidence is emerging that revels the page's identity and it appears he was OLDER than 16 at the time. (more here http://tinyurl.com/rgdof) But even if he wasn't, a quick google search reveals that the age of consent in D.C. is 16, ergo even if Foley did bend his page over, that's their business, not your's or mine. And it also appears that the democrats have know about this for at least a year and are just now bringing it up in hopes of hurting the GOP in the election, because they don't have anything else to offer America.