14 December 2007

Truckin' Around

In a moment of insanity, I went from having a PAID FOR, WHOLLY OWNED BY ME, MINE, MINE, MINE, truck back into a truck that is mine alone...

...that me and the finance company own.

Old and (not really) Busted...

1995 Ranger XLT, 2.3l I-4, 2wd, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, CB, scanner, beer window, 232+K miles.

The New Hotness...

1998 Ranger XLT, 4.0l V-6, 4X4, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, AM/FM/CD, beer window, 126+K miles.

It is ALMOST the perfect truck that I have always wanted, except for one thing...


...Pansy-ass Push-Button Four Fuckin' Wheel Drive w/ Auto Hubs...

As long as it works, I guess I can live with it. But the biggest bitch-points are...

1: When you are in 4X4 and shift from forward to reverse, the hubs unlock and then re-lock in the new direction. Manual hubs are LOCKED, PERIOD.

2: There is no real way of knowing if your transfer case is actually engaged.

And spare me that horseshit about, "Well, if you get stuck, you don't have to get out and get dirty to lock in the hubs..."

A: You have to be able to move a couple of feet to engage the hubs when you flip the switch for the 4X4, and if you are already stuck, as they say in ebonics, "You be fucked."

B: If you have a 4X4 and come up on something that you might get stuck in, and you don't get out and lock the hubs BE-FUCKING-FORE you get in the shit, you are a moron and deserve to get stuck and starve to death before you pass on your defective DNA.

There is one other thing it is missing, but that can be easily rectified...

Whitewalls, baby!!

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4 Comments:

Anonymous The Ol Lady said...

Rectify that....D-I-V-O-R-C-E isn't that a song???

14 December, 2007 23:10  
Blogger MOMinuteMan said...

I don't listen to that radio station...

15 December, 2007 12:35  
Anonymous The Ol Lady said...

I don't know maybe white walls with some spinners..whatd'ya think??

15 December, 2007 22:53  
Blogger NZ_Nitrogen said...

Don't forget the fuzzy dice and the Jesus hood ornament.

17 December, 2007 09:25  

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