02 March 2007

The Gore Effect

As you have heard by now, The Goracle won an Oscar for his film about Goreball warming. The premise is that man is responsible for changes in the weather patterns. There is some truth to this, but it isn't man-kind that is having an effect, it is A man who is changing the weather. And that man is none other than The Gorebot himself.

I know that some of you will call a bullshit flag on that play, but while he flies around the world in a private jet burning fuel by gallons per minute preaching about climate change, and living in a mansion that uses 20 times more energy than the average American home while he tells all of us peasants we are the cause of the coming doom of the planet and all life on it unless we give up our energy dependent ways, there is proof that where ever he goes, the climate changes.

Remember that the seasons are reversed when you go south of the equator, so when it's winter here, it's summer there...

( from the Hearld Sun: )
Al Gore does it again: preaches warming - brings cold, snow

The High Priest of global warming flies in yet again for a jamboree of alarmism:

MORE than 1700 people have applied for 75 unpaid jobs spreading an Australian version of the climate change message of former US vice-president Al Gore…

As well as not being paid, they will each have to foot the travel and accommodation bills to attend a two-day training session in Sydney this weekend. Mr Gore, who arrives in Australia today, will attend the session.

And, right on cue, the weather responds to the famous Gore effect. From the Bureau of Meteorology site on this morning in mid-November:

Sydney 21° A few showers developing. Windy.
Melbourne 14° Showers, windy.
Adelaide 16° Brief shower or two.
Hobart 10° Showers. Mountain snow.
Canberra 15° Few showers. Windy.
Victoria: ... Showers, widespread in southern and mountain areas with snowfall down to 600 metres. Local hail and thunderstorms contracting to the east late in the day and clearing tonight.

This has happened to Gore rather a lot, curiously enough. See, for instance, what happened when he gave a major speech on global warming in Boston in 2004:

Gore will make the warming case on a day forecasters are predicting the coldest temps in Boston since 1957, with wind chills in parts of New England plunging to 100 degrees below zero!

Same story when Gore went to New York:

With a near-record low temperature and single-digit wind chill in New York City, former Vice President Al Gore took to the podium in Manhattan’s Beacon Theater today to blasted President Bush for contributing to “global warming.”

And now Gore flies in from a stay in New Zealand, whose farmers must hope he’s taken his weather with him:

An unusually cold October has left Southland dairy farmers struggling with pasture growth rates about three weeks later than usual.

Mind you, this hasn’t just happened to Gore, as local global warming disciples found out just a couple of weeks ago:

Thousands of people have marched through central Sydney, ignoring wet and windy weather to protest against global warming.

This continued the curious pattern noted by Tim Blair, who gives further examples from Montreal to Byron Bay.

So let us all give thanks that we have Manbearpig tirelessly battling on our behalf to save the planet from ourselves...

Oh Great Goracle
(All praise be to Thee),
I here pray fervently.

Abide with me
in my 65 degree house.
Illuminate my soul
as I read by the light
of my 20 watt bulb.

Warm me with thy good cheer
as I bask in my cold shower.
Be the wind at my back
as I dutifully bike
20 miles to work.

I have been thy good servant
and done all, nay even more,
than Thou hast asked of me.
Surely I will be rewarded
with your blessings from on high
as you pass over
in your glorious Green Jet.

Oh Goracle (All praise be to Thee)
use your mighty powers
to insure that all we little people
will be forced to contribute
to the great cause of saving Earth
so we may all, each and every one,
suffer equally in this most worthy cause.

All this I ask in the name
of the Great Goracle,
saviour of our globe from the evil CO2.

Amen (or "Apersons" as you may prefer)

If you can't smell the bullshit yet, maybe this will sum it up for you...

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