Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Chapter III: Major offenses

Soldiers found guilty of major transgressions will be punished by the military authorities.

A soldier who kills another soldier will probably be shot. However, long wall-to-wall counseling sessions prior to the arrival of the military police are appropriate in cases where the transgression was against another soldier, and are best conducted in the presence of the wronged soldier. If the wronged soldier is still alive, he or she should be invited to join in to the session, as he or she will feel that revenge is called for and participating in the session will help to heal mental wounds caused by the perpetrator.

Rape

No offense is as damaging to the victim as rape. Murder does not come close, since the victim is dead and knows nothing. A raped soldier will have psychological scars for the rest of his or her life. A male soldier who is the victim of a homosexual rape is especially damaged, and many commit suicide rather than live with this burden immediate wall-to-wall counseling is required, and it must be so severe that bones are broken. Dimension lumber must be used during this session, and the minimum length of the session is three hours. If any part of the rapist's body has not been hit with the board, the session is not complete. At least one arm and one leg will be broken during the session and the testicles will be hit at least ten times.

Murder

Coming close to rape in its severity is murder. The victim will not be able to participate in the counseling, of course. A long counseling session with a baseball bat and jackboots will be initiated and will continue only until the perpetrator is unconscious. Then the murderer must be revived and beat on some more.

Arson

Arson, of course, affects us all. Besides the possibility of losing your life, seeing all your crap go up in smoke and having to sleep in the street for the next three years, arsonists steal unit morale, cohesion and esprit de corps. After all, if you can't trust someone to not burn your place down, how can you trust him in a combat situation? Arsonists are very simple to counsel. They are to be placed in the burning building and the doors are to be locked.

Robbery, burglary and barracks thievery

These crimes also affect unit morale. When a soldier rips off your stuff, all you want to do is kill him. Well, if it's your crap, go ahead and do him in. In fact, do more than that. If however, it wasn't your crap he took, you should let the wronged do the little crap head. Popular punishments for barracks thieves include the soldier falling down the stairs twenty or thirty times. Soldiers have also been penned into their rooms and tear gas powder blown under the door with a hair dryer. Anything cruel is good barracks thieves. In fact, it is best if you hold a formation to make the entire battalion observe the barracks thief being killed. People who do crap like this do not deserve to live, as they are far below contempt. I would rather have Russians distroing message traffic than a barracks thief in the company. And I definitely do not want Russians pulling WSC.

Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Department Of The Army - Field Manual 22-102: Wall-To-Wall Counseling

Chapter II: Minor offenses

Simple infractions can be dealt with quickly by a simple ass-beating. Soldiers appreciate this, as it saves them the hassle of having to visit the commander for UCMJ action.

Lateness

Soldiers arriving late for military functions should be screened carefully before being wall-to-wall counseled. A soldier who has never before been late would not benefit from having the crap beat out of him; indeed, it will only destroy his motivation. A soldier who has been late for the past four months, on the other hand, is possibly incorrigible and a well-deserved ass-beating would not only be profitable, but enjoyable. Especially if the soldier has caused you to visit the company commander on less-than-friendly terms.

Incompetence

Soldiers who have proven themselves incapable of performing the demands of their chosen profession may indeed be candidates for wall-to-wall counseling. The source of their incompetence must be determined before harsh measures are implemented, though. If a soldier has just graduated from Initial Entry Training and has never performed his job, corporal punishment would not be a good idea. If, on the other hand, he has performed his MOS for the last two years and still does not know shit from Shinola, the soldier deserves his ass beat and it should be performed at the earliest possible opportunity.

Challenging or defying Authority

Soldiers who harass their leaders are prime candidates for ass-beating. In this case, the soldier should not be given an opportunity to try to pull anything on you the second time. If the soldier harasses or ignores you, kick the crap out of him. Enough said.

Fucking Off

Off Soldiers who fuck off should be treated the same as those who screw with their leaders. Any soldier found sleeping in the back seat of their vehicle in the motor pool instead of working on it should be immediately taken in front of his whole platoon and have the shit kicked out of him. No slack can be placed on soldiers of this nature. The rest of the platoon will appreciate you.

Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

In a new twist on Mon. Motivation, I'm going to start posting chapters from a recently de-classified U.S. Military Field Manual.

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Department Of The Army - Field Manual 22-102: Wall-To-Wall Counseling

Chapter I: Wall-to-Wall counseling has been around longer than the American military.

Many famed units used it as their primary motivational tool, and some used nothing else. It's still prevalent in many hardened military units.

The Spartans

The citizens of the city-state of Sparta, Greece, didn't mess around. Wall-to-wall counseling was the order of the day among the Spartan. The Spartans believed in hard training and hard discipline, and wall-to-wall counseling is about the hardest kind of discipline that there is. The Spartans were feared both in war and at peace, and they worked hard to maintain their image. Babies were quality controlled at the time of their birth, and any not meeting the standards were put on the sides of mountains to die. Needless to say, until the day when wall-to-wall counseling completely erased the desire of the citizens of Sparta to perpetuate the race, nobody screwed with these people.

Patton

General George S. Patton, the famed World War II tank corps commander was a great fan of wall-to-wall counseling. It showed in the way he led his troops. He never used a kind word when a foul one would do just as well. One of his most famous wall-to-wall counseling sessions occurred in a field hospital. Patton believed that combat fatigue was cowardice, and promised to shoot anyone exhibiting it. On a trip through a field hospital, he ran across a shell-shocked private. When the private claimed that he could hear the shells flying overhead but not exploding, Patton became furious. He slapped the soldiers in the head, waved a loaded pistol in his face and called him a wuss. Then he ordered him back to the front to fight "so the brave soldiers in this hospital won't be contaminated by this coward." That Patton was not punished as severely as he should have been for this deed shows that wall-to-wall counseling has a place in the US Army.

The South Korean Army

The Army of the Republic of Korea uses wall-to-wall counseling in its daily operation. It is sanctioned and approved by the Ministry of Defense. South Koreans feel that the harsher peacetime is, the less the soldier will notice the hardships of combat with North Korea. Wall-to-Wall counseling rises to its zenith with the ROK discipline board. This group wall-to-wall counseling session is convened for offenses that would result in punishment by court-martial in the US Army. The soldier walks into the discipline board,is wall-to-wall counseled, and is carried out of the board, either on a stretcher or on ice. While US Army wall-to-wall counseling is not likely to result in serious death to the soldier, the Korean discipline board is a model to be emulated by all US Army units.

When should you wall-to-wall counsel?

You should wall-to-wall counsel a soldier when he needs it. And all soldiers occasionally need wall-to-wall counseling.

Determining when this most severe of leadership techniques is warranted requires the leader to intimately know his soldiers and be aware of when a soldier is far enough gone that a swat in the head is the only thing that will adjust his behavior.