03 August 2006

I Gotta Get A Grant III - Return Of The Blazing Obvious

(found at http://blisteringcheese.com/index.php)

In another stunning example of "No shit, Sherlock??", "health experts", after curing cancer, AIDS, ebola and Capt. Tripps, have found themselves with nothing to do. So they take on the difficult task of figuring out why obese people have a harder time dealing with hot weather than thin people.

"ATLANTA - Obese people face a higher risk of passing out — or worse — during heat waves, some health experts say. Layers of fat make it extra difficult for a body to dissipate heat, or to move to a cool location. Add in diabetic dehydration and other conditions common in the obese, and it's a recipe for trouble."

Now, anybody with more than two brain cells to rub together knows body fat is a thermal insulator, I dare you to show me a skinny Eskimo. It's the reason that I can go to the curb and get the paper wearing shorts and a t-shirt when it's 10 degrees outside with 6" of snow on the ground while a skinny fucker will warm up their car for 30 minutes and drive to the curb to get theirs.

And if you are such a disgusting fat-body slug that you have trouble moving to a cool location, it's time for you to put down the case of Ding-Dongs and get your fat fucking ass off the couch and go chase the lawnmower around the yard a few times.

Back in the Pre-Bizzaro days I grew up in, my folks quickly tired of three wild animals tearing around inside the house and would promptly toss our asses outside, 104 in the shade or not. So for us it was adapt to the heat and drink from the hose or dry up and blow away.

Today, you show me a fat kid, and I'll show you a kid with a PC, Playstation and snack bar in their room. Used to be, getting sent to your room was punishment. Now it's been reversed. I have a friend who tells his kids to "Go outside" when they are screwing up, and they whine about it. No shit, I've seen 'em do it. Me, I'd have been out the door like a shot.

I heard a joke about "experts" a long time ago, something about an "ex-" being something that was no longer needed, and a "spert" is just a drip under pressure...

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