06 June 2006

Killing Three Birds With One Stone

It's amazing what kind of strange leaps of imagination the mind takes at 0300 while watching a GMC commercial, but this one sounds good to me...

A: Since that raving fucktard ex-president Carter decided to piss away a major strategic asset (The Panama Canal) to the control of a foreign, possibly enemy power.

B: Seeing as how we need border security to be tightened up.

And 3: Given the fact we have so many on the "Mo' Cheese" lists and sitting around in taxpayer funded rooms spending their Katrina-relief money on smokes and booze instead of re-building their worthless lives that are perfectly capable of doing Manuel la Bor, I have an idea...

So that if and when we need to get a shit-load of ships and materiel from the Altantic to the Pacific A.S.A.P. (say China decides to show it's red ass over Taiwan), and given the distinct possibility that whoever is in charge of the Panama Canal may decide he hates America and refuses our Navy passage (say the government of Panama, who is currently good-buddies with China), I say we take the Mo' Cheesers and Po' Katrineers and put their lazy asses to work to earn that welfare check and them food stamps and that gummint cheese by digging the MEXICAN CANAL!!!

A 1900-odd mile long waterway big enough to accomodate the carriers Reagan and Bush,(our two newest and biggest CVN's) side by side, from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific would shave a hell of a lot of miles and time off the trip down to the Panama Canal and then back North. And I'm sure that most if not all commercial sea carriers would pay the toll to save the miles/time to the Panama canal or around the Cape. Our newer carrier classes and a lot of supertankers can't go thru the panama canal

It would also make an effective barrier to 100%+ of the fucking beaners currently walking or wading across the border. The four draw-bridges (one for each of the Southern border states, mebbe 2 for Texas 'cuz it's so damn big) to allow vehicle crossings could be easily policed for wandering wetbacks to boot!!

Get survey teams on the line to plan the route and engineers to the drawing board to design the thing while the notifications of "Show up for your pre-work physical or don't bother looking for that next handout." are sent out. That takes care of welfare reform and puts otherwise jobless Americans back to work. Job programs have been done before, i.e. The Works Progress Administration, The Hoover Dam, the TVA, the Eisenhower Interstate Highway project, so it's not unheard of.

Guard Troops are already being sent down that way, just equip them to take on the mexican army. Abrahms, Apaches and all, there's your border/canal project security. And I know if it was my ass down there, I'd rather ride in a hummvee or M1 on patrol than dig ditches and string wire or shuffle papers. Then when mexican army thugs show up, I doubt that they can intimidate an AH-64 or M1 like they can a border town Sheriff with a just glock on his hip and 870 on the dash of the cruiser. And when Vincente Fox starts bitchin', we tell him to go get fucked in the neck with a battle axe.

When it's all said and done, the southern border will be secured and we'll be able to start cleaning up the illegals already here and tossing their asses back to mexico. We'll have a fast, secure route from sea to shining sea for unfettered trade and military use, and we'll have a large corp of trained Americans that can take on other projects vital to The United States' future. Projects like rebuilding our highways and bridges, working with American oil companies to tap the vast deposits of oil we have under our control and building new processing facilities for it, and of course there's always the option of another canal from the Great Lakes to the Pacific for a second cross country waterway. (Not to mention that since some of the terrorist goat-rapers caught in Canada over the weekend have ties to folks in The States, a cautious eye toward the North is warranted in my opinion.)

I think I'll use this as a plank in my platform when I run for President in '08, but I think I'd have an easier time of getting it implemented after I sign a Presidental Order offically opening Congress Critter Season.

Upon reflection, I think Abrahms and Apaches would be overkill. Strykers and Blackhawks with Vulcan cannons in the doors could smoke the Frito Banditos


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