29 May 2006

How Gun Magazines Write Articles...

(found on The Ox Rant blogsite...)

Instruction From The Editor To The Journalist:

"Frangible Arms just bought a four page color ad in our next issue. They sent us their latest offering, the CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer. I told Fred to take it out to the range to test. He'll have the data for you tomorrow."

Feedback From Technician Fred:

"The pistol is a crude copy of the World War II Japanese Nambu type 14 pistol, except it's made from unfinished zinc castings. The grips are pressed cardboard. The barrel is unrifled pipe. There are file marks all over the gun, inside and out.

Only 10 rounds of 8mm ammunition were supplied. Based on previous experience with a genuine Nambu, I set up a target two feet down range. I managed to cram four rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber. I taped the magazine in place, bolted the pistol into a machine rest, got behind a barricade, and pulled the trigger with 20 feet of 550 cord. I was unable to measure the trigger pull because my fish scale tops out at 32 pounds. On the third try, the pistol fired. From outline of the holes, I think the barrel, frame, magazine, trigger and recoil spring blew through the target. The remaining parts scattered over the landscape.

I sent the machine rest back to the factory to see if they can fix it, and we need to replace the shooting bench for the nice people who own the range. I'll be off for the rest of the day. My ears are still ringing. I need a drink."

Article Produced By The Journalist:

"The CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer is arguably the deadliest pistol in the world. Based on a combat proven military design, but constructed almost entirely of space age alloy, it features a remarkable barrel design engineered to produce a cone of fire, a feature much valued by Special Forces world wide. The Destroyer shows clear evidence of extensive hand fitting. The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools. At a reasonable combat distance, I put five holes in the target faster than I would have thought possible. This is the pistol to have if you want to end a gunfight at all costs. The gun is a keeper, and I find myself unable to send it back."
I guess this explains why I when I browse the gun mags at wally-world, I rarely find anything about Ruger, unless it's a new product. But, let the eleventy-billionth 1911-clone come out with the newest "Go-Faster, weigh-more, looks-good-on-film, ain't worth a cat-turd Gadget" pre-installed from the factory, (HQ in Korea... Yes Kimber, I'm pointing at you...) then it's "THE GREATEST THING SINCE PRE-SLICED BLUE-BERRY ENGLISH MUFFINS!!! Just what you need to piss-away that $2500 that's burning a hole in your pocket on. For concealed carry it's just the thing if you don't mind looking like you just shoved a box of Burger Helper down your pants from the bulge in your belt."

I guess Ruger just makes excellent arms and because if it ain't broke they don't fix it, what rolls out the door tends to be a quality product, they don't have to go with "Flash-in-the-pan OOO, lookit me now, see what I did, here's some free samples for you and your buddies, and because we know you wouldn't want us to stop sending you freebies, you guys will make this latest polish-job sound like the next best thing to a Phaser.... Your gun pusher, (insert 1911-cloner here..)

I never find anything about how many times they are passed down through generations, shooting as good as Day One (the clones... I recently ran across a story of a guy who inherited his Grand-Dad's 1911 from WWI. Been locked and loaded 80+ years. Dude stripped and checked and lubed it, then reloaded it and went to the range. Went thru the whole mag of WWI ammo w/o a hitch. Don't remember if it was a Colt or a Springfield, but a good many Troops have come home thanks to their 1911's, so those two don't count...)

Every Ruger I've had has been like a hammer... You pick it up and it works. Period. And with one exception, (a WHIPPED 10-22, but it still hit what I aimed at, just not in the same spot each time, but close enough to put meat in the pot...) they have all shot better than I can.

The FIRST TIME EVER firing off the P90 .45ACP (first time firing ANY pistol in around 17 years..), I hit a torso sized tree stump in what would be the "heart" on a torso target at 100 yds. At "gunfight" ranges, (i.e. across the room...) I can put all 8 rounds into a circle the size of the top of a coffee can (i.e. the size of a human heart or head...) Why does anybody need a pistol that costs 2-6X as much but can't shoot much better than that?? Not me.... (BTW, the only "rest" I had was the 2-handed grip I held the pistol with.)

Of course, if any of the Big-Shot Gun-Makers wanna send me freebies to test against The P90, to prove their gun is worth more than the Kelly Blue Book value of my car, I welcome them to send it on... I know exactly where that stump is at on my Uncle's property


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