10 May 2006

Garden Blogging

Had to re-pot my Roma 'maters earlier. I had started four sprouts in one pot and they got too big too quick. I didn't know their root structure was so dense. I had to cut through a ton of roots to un-ass them from the pot, so I put them on the critical condition list for now. There's 4 of 'em so mebbe one will pull thru.

The Grape tomato plant is doing ok, got about 8 or 10 small green fruits on it, the Beef Bastard (Beefsteak hybrid) is blooming like crazy, but still no fruit. I think I'm gonna have to put 2-3 more stakes in each pot, the one up the center seems to pull the limbs too far outta place. A couple of extra stakes will let them grow in a more natural position.

I also got around to planting my herbs, cilantro, oregano, regular and garlic chives. Got 'em in "Window" boxes on the table by the grill, which is where I expect to do most of my cooking this summer. If I get adventurous, I'll build a shelf or two to put them on to get 'em outta the way.

Next on the list is the peppers. To do it right, I need a dozen more pots. I multi-potted Habanero, Jalapeno, Cayenne, Red Chile and Sweet Bannana sprouts, 3 and 4 to a pot, expecting at least half to die off. But all the Generical-Gro soil, and plant food waterings, and all the recent thunderstorms w/ their nitrogen rich rain have had the same effect as steroids on The Governator.

I guess I could get all Josef Menglela on them and cull one from each pot and cut the number of new pots I need by half... but just as soon as I do that, the rest will develop a case of rare Rhodesian root-rot or some such and I'll be screwed.

Speaking of the good doctor, I guess I'm gonna have to take a page from the nazi play-book. The leaves on my plants look like somebody cut loose with a shotgun in the garden, they're so full of holes. Apparently the local bug population has declared my garden a "Free Lunch Zone" and have been have been scarfing it down like those 500 lb cows at Ryan's dessert bar and I didn't plant the shit to feed the neighborhood, so I'm declaring war.

I'm not gonna mickey mouse around with appeasement like planting someting else they wanna eat more, or "limited- response" actions like repellant plants...

I'm going straight to the WMD's with a chemical nerve agent that's a cousin to VX, Sarin and Zyklon-B... Sevin Ready To Use Bug Killer!! Without a bunch of techno-babble, basically all pesticides are nerve agents. They kill by inhibiting the chemical that allows signals to pass from nerve ending to nerve ending, and when those signals stop going to your vital functions, (unless you have a self-injector of an antidote like Atropine to stab yourself in the heart with...) as they say in ebonics, "You be fucked..."

So as soon as it stops raining for the spray to hang around long enough to do the job, I'll be setting up my own little "Shower Room" for the greedy bastards...

"Welcome to The Dachau Dining Hall!!! Just hang your exo-skeletons on the hooks on the wall and proceed through the door to the buffet room..."

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