12 December 2006

From The Dept. Of You Can't Make This Fucking Shit Up

(found at Wicked Thoughts)

No, this is not some kind of Fucking joke, They're Fucking serious. This is about Fucking thieves ripping off the Fucking taxpayers.

Fucking Tourists
LONDON, (AFP) - British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly-named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side, The Sunday Telegraph newspaper reported.

Only one kind of criminal ever stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border -- cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humour and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back and with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

"We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed," the officer told the broadsheet.

"It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile."

Local guide Andreas Behmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking.

"The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg," he explained.

"Every American seems to care only about 'The Sound of Music' (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg). The occasional Japanese wants to see Hitler's birthplace in Braunau.

"But for the British, it's all about Fucking."

Guesthouse boss Augustina Lindlbauer described the village's breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas.

"Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking," she said.

"Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no Fucking postcards."

And no, it's not a Fucking Urban Legend. More at Snopes.com

Tourists are causing a lot of anxiety - and are costing money - to a tiny village where signs keep disappearing. What do the signs read? "Welcome to Fucking, Austria." Pronounced "fooking", the little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the village in the 6th century. His name? Focko. The town sign has been stolen seven times in the last few months. With the signs costing several hundred dollars apiece, much of the tiny town's budget is being spent replacing the signs, says Seigfried Hoeppel, the Mayor of Fucking. He went on to express his hope that further thefts will be avoided through the use of increased concrete and... bigger screws.

The second sign carries the hilarity even further: "Bitte - nicht so schnell!" is German for "Please - not so fast!"


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home