23 September 2007

I Just Drive The Bus

(Bonus points if you can name the movie the title comes from...)

Started a new job driving a school bus, transporting baby wannabe thugs from the 'hood to middle, junior and senior high schools, so blogging has been light because after getting back home from that rolling primate house called a bus route, the last thing I wanna do is have to think.

I miss the good ol' days when if you fucked up on the bus, the driver warned you and if you didn't listen, he either kicked your ass on the bus or kicked your ass off of the bus, and after you got home, your folks kicked your ass for being a fuck-up.

Now, if you even look like you might touch one of those pwecious widdle angels, you get shit canned and sued. Even if some cock-knocker 5th grader instigates it by saying, "I'll punch you in your bald-ass head...", don't you dare turn around and tell him, "Try it, you little coffee with extra cream skin tone, just enough nigger in the wood pile to claim to be black mother fucker and I'll fuck you up so bad your illegitimate grand-children will be retarded."

When I started, I thought the biggest problems would be from the older kids. In fact, other than an issue about the possibility that I could be a racist, ("I'm not a racist. I hate everyone equally.") the Jr./Sr. High kids are fairly well behaved. Of course, it didn't start out like that.

The first couple of days, they wanted to see how far they could push and how much I would take. I told them that the bus was my world and as soon as they stepped on board, they were just living in it, and my word was law. After some insubordination from a psuedo-diva, we took a trip back to the school, they tried a few aborted attempts at lying about me and the principal then re-enforced the fact that yes, it is my world and they have no say about how it turns, and if they didn't wish to comply, he'd be happy to suspend them, and things have been pretty smooth sailing ever since.

No, the primate house aspect of it comes from the middle schoolers. Screeching, screaming, jumping around, throwing shit, and them KNOWING that you can't lay a finger on them, much less kick their oh, so deserving asses for it. All that can be done is to report the latest fuck up, go to the video tape and wait for the powers that be to figure out what to do.

If we had a suggestion box, I'd offer that we take the 6-10 shit disturbers off of the regular buses, place them all on a single bus with bars on the windows and chains on the seats and an overseer with a Klingon Pain Stick to ride herd on them. Hell, I'd volunteer to drive that bus.

And the first one to throw a rock at the back of, or offer to punch me in my head...


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Anonymous The Ol' Lady said...

Hey...that looks an awful lot like a short bus?!?!

24 September, 2007 16:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I told the Ol' Lady that if nothing else, this job would make your blog more interesting...damn, it's hard to be right so often.
Try to think of it as a chance to shape young lives...okay, okay, just try not to kill any of them!
love ya-

28 September, 2007 23:19  

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