How Time Flies When You're Being Waterboarded At Abu Ghraib - AKA: My 14th Wedding Anniversary
I first met The Ol' Lady about 16 years ago when we kept showing up at the same keg parties and I noticed the short chick (she's 5ft even) with the dark hair and the dark eyes. Our first interactions came about when I got tired of seeing her "friends" take advantage of her by conning her out of her car and trashing it, or her boyfriend conning her outta beer money.
She was really innocent and naive back then, wouldn't have said shit if she had a mouth full of it. I told her to stop taking shit from people and to stand up for herself. Little did I realize that we would wind up getting married. I am 1.25 feet taller than she is, but she will stand toe to toe and go blow for blow with me. Man, did I shoot myself in the foot that time!! But it serves her well as the manager of The Motel, if she won't take no shit offa me (and I'm the biggest asshole I know), she damn well won't put up with shit from any of the wannabe thugs, drunks, shit-birds, bitches and ho's that show up at The Motel and think that because she's so short, they can intimidate her.
Of course like all real world marriages, there have been ups and downs. Good times and bad fights. Four funerals that nobody should have to attend that we held on to each other as tight as we could and got through and still cry on each other from time to time about. I used to think "You complete me" was just a cheesy line from a movie, but after 14 years, I can't even imagine life without The Ol' Lady, and I don't want to. She is truly my better half and I wouldn't trade her for all the tea in China. But I might consider a squad of 17 year old Texas cheerleaders... (I bet I'm getting a beating for my anniversary... Any takers??)
To quote some old hippy fucker, "What a long, strange trip it's been", but it doesn't really seem that long to me. So raise a glass with me and toast the most important person in my life, my Ol' Lady.
Babe, I love you.