14 November 2006

Me For Prez In '08 (I'd Have To Try REALLY Hard To Fuck Things Up Worse Than They Are Now...)

I’m throwing my hat into the ring:

MOMinuteman in ‘08…

My Platform??

2nd amendment - If you want a Ma Deuce and can afford to feed it and aren’t a psycho, why not??

The Border - 20′ wall with gun towers every 1/4 mile, a 500 meter deep mine field in front of it with a 500 meter killzone behind it and orders to shoot to kill anyone who makes it through the mines.

The Jihad on America - We kicked the dogsnot outta over 2/3 of the world 60 years ago, and we are MUCH more industrially capable now. Time to ramp up, go balls to the wall, and settle it. And if it comes down to it, nuke ‘em all and let Allah sort ‘em out.

The rest of the world doesn’t like us - SCREW ‘EM! With a little re-structuring, we can get by just fine without them, but the reverse is not true for them. A couple of weeks of empty bellies might make them realize we ain’t all that bad. And it’s better to be our friend than not. The U.N.?? OUTTA HERE!!! And if China and Russia don’t like it, tough. China doesn’t have the equipment to take us on, and don’t tell me about millions of conscripts, a couple of SSBN’s will solve that problem. And Russia’s crap is so old and worn out that most of it doesn’t work due to lack of funds to maintain it.

Abortion - Condoms are a cheaper form of birth control and a lot less physically and psychologically painful than abortion, but it’s your body, who am I to tell you what to do with it?? But Partial Birth and Late-term abortions are nothing more than murder with the screams muffled.

Special interest groups - I am a simple country boy with simple needs. If I can’t get by on around $300k a year, something is severely wrong, and I feel that the rest of the government would be better off with more folks with similar needs.

Taxes - The economy is going like crazy with all tax cuts, so why not make them permanent??

Did I hit the high points that everybody is worried about?? Just relax, enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas, and Vote For Me in ‘08!!


Anonymous ]HM[.Xenon said...

Trouble is, people would call your idea of government a Fascism. :P I would be the first person to put the first slate into the ballot box for you. :)

18 November, 2006 20:36  
Blogger MOMinuteMan said...

You just nominated to be my running mate...

18 November, 2006 23:23  

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