MISSOURI MINUTEMAN ARMORY AND SMOKEHOUSE

Relocating To F.O.B. Camp FORGER

2008-04-22T18:05:00.002-05:00

Just a note to let y'all know that I've started a new blog, FORGER'S HAMMER. Mostly, because I got tired of being called "MO" on all the blogs I visit. I know it stands for "Missouri", but sounds too much like that goat buggering bunghole MoHamHead.

When I ain't got no fresh shit, I'll dig into the archives of the old blog and repost some old shit. And if you wanna put up with my shit, just click on this link to FORGER'S HAMMER, and bookmark it or make it your home page.

So this is the last post here, but feel free to dig thru the archives for some good shit. And hie thee hence to FORGER'S HAMMER (getting the hint yet???), and report in.

"I Prefer The Weapon You Only Need To Fire... Once.."

2008-04-12T20:24:00.005-05:00

This is gonna be cooler than Spiderman.....

A Gentlemen's Duel

2008-04-11T20:03:00.002-05:00

A little fun to kick off the weekend...

(Found At Professor SHLong's)

Heavy Metal

2008-04-06T15:16:00.001-05:00

If the feature is as good as the trailer, this is gonna FUCKIN' ROCK!!!

If It's All The Same To You, I'll Stick With The Cookies And Kool-Aid

2008-04-05T22:07:00.002-05:00

From The Ol' Lady...

If a relative or friend needed a blood transfusion, you'd probably do your part and donate a pint. However, a Cape Girardeau man didn't have the option to help his beloved family member...his pet dog Jake.

"This past weekend we was not his normal self, he was lethargic, wouldn't eat or drink, so I knew something was wrong," said John Davis.

The nine-year old dog had a tumor on his spleen, was bleeding internally and needed surgery fast.

"He was going to have to have a blood transfusion or else," explained Dr. John Koch.

The call for help went out fast and within an hour, George came to the rescue. Requi Salter with the Humane Society of Southeast Missouri says it's not often they get a request for a donor, but George was glad to help.

"It didn't hurt, it's similar to a human donation, and as a reward, it may not sound like a reward to you, but he was neutered to help him find a home faster."

Jake's owner, John Davis says it's a pretty unique situation, and he's relieved George is a lifesaver.

If you'd like to help George find a good home, you can contact the Humane Society of Southeast Missouri.

To All Enemies, Foreign And Domestic...

2008-03-27T13:46:00.003-05:00

Fuck You.

Dear Rest Of The World...

2008-03-23T13:21:00.003-05:00

Kiss My Red, White And Blue American Ass.

Signed,

Me and JMFL...

And the rest of the American Military that are liberating your pathetic asses.

That Nigger's Crazy

2008-03-21T17:33:00.004-05:00

I remember a time long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when I was a teenager. And I had recently obtained that marvel of modern technology, a portable cassette player/recorder, similar to this one...

And I also remember one of the first tapes I bought that I basically had to smuggle into the house because Dad would not approve of it because...

A: Richard Pryor was a nigger...

B: Richard Pryor was a profane nigger.

So I remember playing the tape with the volume down at a barely audible level, holding the speaker up to my ear, and trying to suppress my giggling like a 'tard in a helmet so I wouldn't be heard and have my comedic transgression exposed.

Now, 28 years later, I can laugh my ass off as loud as I want to one of the funniest motherfuckers on the planet, and thanks to the intarweb and youtoob, I can share teh funneh with the rest of you morons...

What Happens When Marines Run Out Of Things To Break And People To Kill??

2008-03-17T19:57:00.004-05:00

Like the Brothers they are, they turn on each other...

(Found at Misha's place)

It's March 14th. You Know What That Means...

2008-03-14T14:53:00.002-05:00

It's Steak And A Blowjob Day!!

Monday Motivation

2008-03-10T19:28:00.002-05:00

And a piece of advise from Kemp over at AoSHQ...

When in doubt remember, if it flies, floats or fucks, rent it.

What Every Man Wants In Bed

2008-03-08T19:52:00.002-06:00

Wanna make your man happy??? Pay attention.

VOYAGER - The Lost Episode

2008-03-08T17:34:00.002-06:00

...Hey, the plot ain't any more far fetched than some of the ones that made it on air...

Your Parents Hate You

2008-03-06T17:43:00.006-06:00

...And want you to get your ass kicked in school and fail in life because you have a stupid fucking name.

And the object of future ridicule?? Tyrant Chrome

Maybe he won't be a total failure, their might be some basic computer skills in his DNA, as evidenced by the inspiration for the name...

This listing is for:

One Elite Tyrant Chrome Wheel. 22x9.5, 6 Lug (6x5.5/139.7) with a +18 offset, Chrome Wheel. This application fits many vehicles. Wheel is Brand New in perfect condition. This is one of the last wheels on the planet, very hard to find wheel. Please call or email with any questions. Price is for ONE wheel; One very hard to find wheel!

Of course millions of morons are on EBay at any given moment, so that ain't saying much about how deep the IQ pool is at babymomma Shaniece's crib...

UPDATE:

I can see this happening at a Christmas in young Mr. Chrome's future...

Monday Motivation

2008-03-03T11:41:00.001-06:00

Leap Day Bonus Weird Al - AKA: The Story Of MOST Of The Women In My Life

2008-02-29T20:36:00.006-06:00

Close, But No Cigar...

But #3 on the list worked out pretty good...

...so far...

Wendnesday Weird Al - Virus Alert

2008-02-27T18:08:00.006-06:00

Friendly 'worms' could spread software fixes...

Microsoft researchers are hoping to use "information epidemics" to distribute software patches more efficiently.

Software worms spread by self-replicating. After infecting one computer they probe others to find new hosts. Most existing worms randomly probe computers when looking for new hosts to infect, but that is inefficient, says Vojnović, because they waste time exploring groups or "subnets" of computers that contain few uninfected hosts.

Look at the words in bold... Those are NOT words I want to hear when referring to my computer. Windows is already as holey as swiss cheese and they've barely got XP secure enough to venture into the 'Net, the last thing I want is them poking more holes in it and inserting their worms in there to "INFECT" (their exact word) my box.

(Besides, an expert tells me worms make your ass itch...)

Now look at the word in quotes in the last sentence... "subnet".

I seem to recall a story in which the main antagonist had a name very close to that, in fact it was only two letters off. It wound up sending a trio of cyborg killing machines into the past to destroy the only man who could stop it's plan of wiping humans off the face of the planet.

Hey, if Nostradamus can mean that evil, Nazi sumbitch "Hitler" when he wrote "Hister" and still be taken seriously, I can be a couple of letters off, too.

A Prescription For The Folks At The 325th CSH

2008-02-18T13:52:00.005-06:00

Take PRN and apply liberally to affected area for relief from acute attacks of Dee Dee Dee...

(By special request from JMFL.

We love you and miss you... ALL OF YOU!

Take care and come home safe.)

Time To Take Off Your Clothes...

2008-02-16T12:39:00.002-06:00

... And Show Us Your Tights

Wanna Woo Your Lover This Valentine's Day???

2008-02-13T21:41:00.005-06:00

Try some of the poetry found in the comments here at Ace's Place

"The Washington Post ran a contest which you had to write a two line poem with the first line romantic and the second line as unromantic as the first line was romantic.

Example of some of the entries:

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take the paper bag off of your face."

Here's a couple I pulled outta my ass at random from the comments...

"I can't express my feelings with candy hearts
Can't find one that says "sorry for the anal warts"

I love you more now than the day we were wed
So when in the fuck are you gonna give me head?"

Feel free to post your own...

I'm gonna try some and see if I get lucky...

UPDATE:

Some Jarhead humor from the thread...

"A boy walks into his parent's room and sees his father fucking his mother in the ass. The dad laughs at him and says, "Now get the fuck outta here".

The next night, the father walks into the son's room and catches him fucking his grandmother up the ass. The son says, "Yeah, it's not so funny when it's your mother..."

My Brother

2008-02-09T22:21:00.000-06:00

Time To Vote

2008-02-09T19:52:00.000-06:00

OK.

I get THIS...

...for The Ol' Lady...

Don't you think she should get THIS...

...for me???

UPDATE...

I know what, I'll suck up a little...

Hmmm... "Fuck you, Fat Bastard" wasn't the response I was lookin' for...

Lemme try this...

UPDATE II ...
"Our Song"???

How's this??

No???

Get my gun woman....

Global Warming Eats Local Man's Truck, Ranger To The Rescue

2008-02-09T14:23:00.000-06:00

A week ago on Thursday here in S.E.MO. we got 4-6" of snow over a thin layer of sleet. Friday, I'm out toolin' around, enjoyin' a snow day off from the zoo..., er...um... I mean, the school bus, T.C.B., when The Ol' Lady calls and sez one of her employees is stuck in the snow in his driveway, and could I go by and extricate him...

Sure, sez I. I know Dude has a 2WD full size Chevy PU, and figger that he's got that light ass-end, no-traction thing going on and just needs a little tug to get outta the driveway....

Nope.

He's slid outta the driveway and into the ditch at the end of it, and while trying to get out, has buried the thing to the axle in the snow and mud.

So, here I am in my '98 4.0 4x4 Ranger thinkin', "I ain't got the ballast to get enuff bite on this slick shit to yank THAT out, especially with these no-tread havin' tires... But I'm here, let's give it a shot." I get turned around, and lined up, flip the switch to 4LO, and back up so Dude can hook up the tow rope.

I take up the slack, he mounts up and gives me the "GO". The Ranger starts slipping sideways until it centers on the load then starts spinning all fours. Back off and try again. Same-same. I tell Dude, "I'm gonna give it a little jerk..." I give it a little slack and then bump it. Seems like we make a couple inches of forward movement.

COOL!!

"Let's try that again, a little harder..." BUMP!! It seems to break loose. "One more time." BUMP!! and she comes out and I proceed to pull the Chevy to the top of the hill where he D/C's the rope and parks where he can drive out until the snow melts off.

Muchos Gracias's ensue and the offer of a shot or 3 of Primo Woda back at the crib are accepted.

"Can you make it up the drive??", sez he. "Dunno, it's kinda steep, but I'll give 'er a shot", sez I. And rubbing his nose in the awesome Ranger Greatness he has just been witness to, I proceed up his drive without slipping a tire.

"DAMMIT!!! I gotta get me a truck like that!!!", sez he.

(P.S. That's my drop top 25th Anniversary Pony GT 5.0 H.O. in the background...)

Smoke Eaters And Dogs Rule!!

2008-02-08T20:05:00.000-06:00

(Found at Xavier's place...)

Go to the link in the title for Pix and Video...

Central Florida Firefighters Save Dogs With Mouth-To-Mouth CPR

Kissimmee firefighters on Tuesday revived several dogs by performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation on the animals, which were rescued from a structure fire.

According to Kissimee fire officials, Gary Letour and other firefighters responded to the fire at 401 S. Clyde Ave. at about 2 p.m.

The fire was contained to the laundry room of the home, but heat and smoke filled an upstairs apartment, where the animals were discovered.

The dogs were taken to an area animal hospital for observation. A cat was killed in the fire.

Big Fuckin' Deal... Cats drool....

Doggie CPR info here...

Heimlich Maneuver for Dogs here... (Also covers Cats, They knew they were biting off more than they could chew, I say, let 'em choke...

How To Avoid An Ass Kickin' By Chris Rock

2008-02-06T12:45:00.000-06:00

Found this over at Sig 94's place, and some of them would go a long way toward keepin' my boot outta my Hood Rat's asses as well.

Monday Motivation

2008-02-04T17:02:00.001-06:00

Reporting The News American Media Won't

2008-02-01T18:13:00.001-06:00

From the U.K.'s Telegraph, via Red Planet Cartoons, comes this bit-o-news that you'll never hear from that wholly owned subsidiary of the Dhimmicrat Party, The MSM...

Minutes after taking the Pledge of Allegiance, new American citizens are urged to register as voters by Democratic activists who see them as natural party supporters who could hold the key to the 2008 election.

But with increasing illegal immigration threatening the economy and security of the United States, many legal immigrants anxious to uphold the laws of their adopted country are moving towards the more hard-line immigration stance of Republicans.

Even in California’s Democratic-controlled San Diego, sizeable numbers of America’s newly-minted potential voters said that illegal immigrants should be penalised rather than given an easy route to citizenship as most Democrats advocate.

“For a long time, immigration was OK,” said Sara Wright, 49, a seamstress from Mexico who arrived in the US legally in 1986.

“But now, no more. A lot of really bad people come from Mexico and commit crimes.

“People are coming in and having two, three, four babies and going on welfare. Some are making money here and spending it back in Mexico.

"That’s not right. They should go back to Mexico and get a permit.”

Mrs Wright, whose American-born husband Ed served in the US Navy, was one of 1,591 people from 89 countries who became citizens at a ceremony in San Diego’s Golden Hall on Tuesday.

Nearly two thirds of them were from Mexico, whose border is just 17 miles from the city.

During the 40-minute ceremony, performed by a judge, the new citizens waved American flags, sang “America the Beautiful” and raised their rights hands as they repeated the oath to “abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty” of another nation.

Welcome to The United States, my fellow Americans. Make yourselves at home.

Country Folks Can Survive

2008-01-26T17:17:00.000-06:00

Seems like most of the bloggers I get my current events from have decided that this Republic is going down the shitter because not one of the sumbitches running for POTUS is worth the powder is would take to blow then up...

And they are right... None of the scumbags are worth a vote... All we have is someone to vote AGAINST, and that shit is bullshit... Who do we have to kill, what underage virgins do we have to rape, what goats do we have to sacrifice to get someone worthy of running this country???

Fred didn't have the fire in his belly... Fred didn't want the job...

The LAST motherfucker we want as CINC is someone who wants the job...

It is six of one, half a dozen of another in this fuckin' circus... Both parties are two sides of the same fucking coin.... Nothing but "How can I fuck over the peons to gain the most for me" power mad, scum suckin, pole smokin, fuck you and your's, feltching assholes.

So in that vein, I offer this rebuttal of what flyover America has to say about the games politicians play...

Y'all do what ya' wanna do... We'll be here to un-fuck what you try to fuck up... Remember, we got most of the guns....

Heath Ledger Found Dead...

2008-01-22T17:20:00.000-06:00

Batman named as person of interest...

(I knew Dark Knight was in the works, Joker was The Bad Guy, but hadn't heard who was playing him. But it's a good reason to post this killer trailer...

I'm seeing this one in the theater.)

That Whirring Sound You Hear Is Dr. King Spinning In His Grave

2008-01-21T15:07:00.000-06:00

What if Dr. MLK, JR. had survived the shooting and came out of a coma today. What would he say about what his people have done with his dream...

"I got my ass whupped and tossed in jail for THESE people?!?!?"

I Think I Need Some New Work Clothes...

2008-01-19T12:27:00.000-06:00

(Found on some Moron Blog...)

So Simple, Even A Moron Can Understand....

2008-01-13T16:42:00.000-06:00

But Publik Skool graduates may have some trouble...

Why Do The Trees In Missouri Lean South??

2008-01-13T15:28:00.000-06:00

Because Arkansas and its politicians SUCK!!!

Do we really want ANOTHER former Arcansuck governor in the White House??? History has shown that AR. Gov. + Oval Office = MONGOLIAN CLUSTERFUCK.

America, do yourself a favor and vote FRED!

Fred '08:

Kill the terrorists
Secure the borders
Punch the hippies

Why Parents Drink

2008-01-12T15:16:00.000-06:00

(Thanks to DJ over at The Rott)

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper: “Hello.”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your mummy there?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk with her?”

Again, the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman!”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to daddy and mummy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: “ME.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Go here and read the comments to this one...)

It's really a blessing of sorts when your teenagers enter that phase where they're mortified by the very idea of you, preferring to imagine that they were created by pixies and laid under a cabbage patch, to be discovered and raised later on by wolves. It beats the hell out of having to admit the fat, pasty, middle-aged person in the minivan has shown up at school to pick up you.

It's a blessing, of course, because revenge is a dish best served cold, and parents have to exact some sort of punishment for the routine humiliation teenagers doled out to their parents ten years earlier.

I have had many such moments, such as the time, and I won't name names here although he deserves it, one of my kids announced to my mother over the phone that "sometimes my penis gets really big! And it feels good!"

For hands-down humiliation, however, I haven't yet been able to top my neighbor's misery, when his three year old daughter interrupted his poker game by running naked into the room and screaming with a joyous voice of discovery, "DADDY! DID YOU KNOW? I COME WITH MY OWN POCKET! AND IT CAN HOLD A PEN! LOOK!"

And while he was knocking his chair over to get across the room to put a stop to her performance, she showed all his friends where the pocket was and how well you could put in and take out all kinds of things.

This is a man who's going to show up at his daughter's high school graduation drunk and shirtless, with her name painted across his chest and gut, randomly shouting "WOOO!!!" during her valedictory speech and making devil horns with his upraised hands. And she will have totally earned it.

Arkansas Family Reunion

2008-01-11T18:53:00.000-06:00

An OLDIE, but a goodie...

Walter For President

2008-01-05T21:46:00.000-06:00

Fred Thompson came in third in Iowa, but those bible/sister bangin' morons voted for one of their own kind, Huckabee, a bible/sister bangin' moron from Arkansas, so what the fuck do they know. It's still a long way 'til November.

But in case Fred! screws the pooch, I gotta have a fall back position of who to vote for. The rest of the field on both sides is full of booger eatin' morons who piss me off at best and would fuck over the USA if elected.

Luck for me, another candidate has emerged that I can vote for without wanting to throw up...

2007 - The Year In Review

2007-12-31T20:04:00.001-06:00

OK, Who's Family Movie Is This???

2007-12-31T19:43:00.000-06:00

(Stolen from Grouchy Old Cripple)

Texas Ditch Surfin'

Failing To See The Downside...

2007-12-28T19:16:00.000-06:00

So, some cock-knocker named Dave Lindorff has penned an article about how Goreballs Warming and the coming inundation of flood waters from the melting ice caps will put an end to us Red Staters keeping him and his commie hippy-type pinko fag buddies down.... Moron seems to have forgotten one teeny-tiny little detail in his fantasy....

Between Red Staters and The Military, (who by and large are Red Staters), we have the best toys to take what we need to continue our way of life. And if we have to kick some hippy ass and take tree-hugger names, well, a global natural disaster would be just the excuse we've been looking for...

But using their own information to form projections, IF the seas rise 100 meters, these maps show that the hardest hit areas will be some of their favorite stomping grounds...

AND, it will be a 10 minute drive from the crib to the beach, and an hour drive to my newly formed beach front vacation property, or a days boat trip down the coast to get there...

So somebody tell me why this isn't a WIN - WIN situation???

Merry Christmas!! Achmed The Dead Terrorist Sings Jingle Bombs

2007-12-25T19:21:00.000-06:00

SILENCE!! I Keel You!!

5 Year Old Update

2007-12-25T18:53:00.001-06:00

Apparently, somebody pulled a fast one with the "How Many 5 year Olds" quiz, and the link goes to some bullshit date site. Sorry about that. I would never knowingly post a cheese-dick link like that.

I just copy/pasted the html I got with my results, and my HTML-Fu is weak. So I pulled the post.

Merry Christmas JMFL

2007-12-24T00:01:00.000-06:00

We miss you and we love you.

Here's a little Christmas Jam for you...

Santa Might Be Running A Little Late This Year

2007-12-22T13:36:00.000-06:00

You would think that with NORAD's ability to track everything from ground level to outer space, and especially since they track Santa's flight every year, they might be able to give The Big Guy a little warning about objects in his flight path like this...

Bad Baby Names

2007-12-22T12:15:00.001-06:00

The More I Know People, The More I like Dogs

2007-12-20T18:56:00.000-06:00

Marine Cpl. Dustin Jerome Lee and his German shepherd, Lex, scoured Iraq for roadside bombs together, slept next to each other and even posed in Santa hats for a holiday photo.

When a mortar attack killed the 20-year-old Marine in Falluja a few months later, Lex, whimpering from his own injuries, had to be pulled away, Lee's father was told.

That strong bond compelled the slain Marine's family to [petition the Marines to] adopt 8-year-old Lex even though the military said he still had two years of service.

The family lobbied the military for months, launched an Internet petition and enlisted the aid of a North Carolina congressman who took their case straight to the Marine Corps' top general.

As Paul Harvey would say, The Rest Of The Story...

Semper Fi, Lex. Good Boy.

Why I'm Voting For Fred!!

2007-12-19T10:07:00.001-06:00

Asking For It

2007-12-17T09:22:00.000-06:00

By now you've probably heard that the Japs have developed genetically modified mice that aren't afraid of cats. It has something to do with the fact they can no longer smell or identify the smell from a cat that triggers the instinct to get the hell outta Dodge when a cat shows up...

Next thing you know, we'll be hearing of suicide bomber attacks in Japan...

Lets just hope they don't start fucking around with lizard DNA...

Truckin' Around

2007-12-14T17:42:00.000-06:00

In a moment of insanity, I went from having a PAID FOR, WHOLLY OWNED BY ME, MINE, MINE, MINE, truck back into a truck that is mine alone...

...that me and the finance company own.

Old and (not really) Busted...

1995 Ranger XLT, 2.3l I-4, 2wd, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, CB, scanner, beer window, 232+K miles.

The New Hotness...

1998 Ranger XLT, 4.0l V-6, 4X4, 5spd, tilt, cruise, AC, AM/FM/CD, beer window, 126+K miles.

It is ALMOST the perfect truck that I have always wanted, except for one thing...

...Pansy-ass Push-Button Four Fuckin' Wheel Drive w/ Auto Hubs...

As long as it works, I guess I can live with it. But the biggest bitch-points are...

1: When you are in 4X4 and shift from forward to reverse, the hubs unlock and then re-lock in the new direction. Manual hubs are LOCKED, PERIOD.

2: There is no real way of knowing if your transfer case is actually engaged.

And spare me that horseshit about, "Well, if you get stuck, you don't have to get out and get dirty to lock in the hubs..."

A: You have to be able to move a couple of feet to engage the hubs when you flip the switch for the 4X4, and if you are already stuck, as they say in ebonics, "You be fucked."

B: If you have a 4X4 and come up on something that you might get stuck in, and you don't get out and lock the hubs BE-FUCKING-FORE you get in the shit, you are a moron and deserve to get stuck and starve to death before you pass on your defective DNA.

There is one other thing it is missing, but that can be easily rectified...

Whitewalls, baby!!

Ted For Prez

2007-12-12T21:57:00.000-06:00

The money quote @ 1:37...

The Second Amendment of our Bill Of Rights is my Concealed Carry Permit... PERIOD!!

Monday Motivation

2007-12-10T21:30:00.000-06:00

This one is for JMFL, who went back to the sandbox to do his duty, left is new wife and his family and loved ones to go back to wounded and dying troops for 18+ hour days at Baghdad ER.

And the "sign language" is also for all the fuckhead hippies and lefttard treehuggers and cut and run surrender monkeys who "support the troops" by calling for their dishonorable withdrawal and say they are better troops when they frag their officers...

Wanna end the war?? Put on some fucking boots instead of sandals, pick up a weapon instead of a fucking protest sign, and deploy to the front instead of some leftist enclave where you have all the protections that our troops have secured for over 200 years and kill those who wanna kill you instead of being a pissywhineypussy baby saying, "BushHitlerMcCheneyHaliburton is bad, M'kay..."

You have the right of Free Speech, but I don't have to like the shit that comes outa your filthy sewers...

Booty Call

2007-12-09T17:08:00.001-06:00

Beauty And The Beast

2007-12-08T15:16:00.000-06:00

I Would Do Anything For You, My Love...

WOW - Baby Got Back

2007-12-08T14:30:00.000-06:00

In honor of Spike's Video Game Awards this weekend...

Ever Have One Of Those Days???

2007-12-08T01:59:00.000-06:00

Just A Quick Note...

2007-12-06T21:57:00.001-06:00

...to the fucking hood rats at the game tonight...

Here in S.E. Missouri, we are Americans and goddamned fuckin' proud of it!!! And when The National Anthem is being sung before a game, you fucking well stand and salute if you are MilPers, or if civvie, you put your right hand over your heart.

You DO NOT sprawl out on the bench, hold onto your pathetic pecker, or roll your fucking eyes as if to say, "Fuck this cracker shit..." Plenty of crackers AND niggers have fought and died to keep this country free so you can act like an uncivilized savage that doesn't know how to use a fucking belt.

And I'd be willing to bet that somewhere in your bloodline is a relative who served and if they were there tonight, they would have slapped you in the back of your nappy head and say, "You better stand up and show respect boy before I smack you upside the head again."

This About Sums It Up...

2007-12-03T18:13:00.000-06:00

If I Were A Ventriloquist's Dummy...

2007-12-02T18:57:00.000-06:00

...I'd be THIS guy.
#1

#2

#3

Full Metal Christmas

2007-12-02T13:27:00.001-06:00

You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings... You are nothing but unorganized, grabasstic pieces of elven shit!!

As Heard On Scanners

2007-12-01T13:04:00.000-06:00

Apparently, there is a "Winter Season Holiday Between Thanksgiving and New Years" (don't wanna offend anyone by calling it Christmas) parade today.

Apparently, the flunkies putting the thing together are using those little walkie-talkies to communicate with each other, "...cars need moved..., where's the bathroom, which float is first" kind of crap has been coming over the scanner. Normally I mentally tune that kind of shit out, but one transmission caught my attention...

Is Santa SOBER this year??

I was laughing too hard to hear the reply....

A Christmas Tune For Folks South Of The Border...

2007-11-29T09:55:00.000-06:00

...The Missouri / Arkansas border, that is.

33 Capitalistic, Profiteering, Money-Grubbing Days 'Til Christmas

2007-11-23T17:17:00.000-06:00

So, let's get this shit started off on the right notes....

Thank you, Thank you very much...

Or, with pork fat flavor for my muslim friends...

Monday Motivation

2007-11-12T09:28:00.000-06:00

Belated...

Thank You All

2007-11-11T11:02:00.000-06:00

At 11:00 AM on the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, the guns on the Western Front fell silent. The costliest war in human history to that point was over. Men who just a few moments ago would have killed each other cautiously stood in their trenches and entered no mans land. The War to End All Wars was over.

Thus eventually began the holiday of Armistice Day, to commemorate the service of all the Dough Boys, Marines and Sailors who had fought in WWI. After the hopeful optimism that war itself had ended was proven to be false in 1939-45, and again in 1950-53, the holiday was changed to Veterans Day to remember all who have ever served our nation. Our Canadian brethren celebrate November 11th as Remembrance Day, their version of our Memorial Day.

While Memorial Day is to honor those warriors who have paid the last full measure of devotion, today is for the living. Today we honor all those who have worn the uniform.

- LC 0311 crunchie I.M.H.

"You Wanted For The Best, And You Got This Shit. The Lamest Band In The Land, Max Suckage And All Thumbs !!!"

2007-11-10T17:46:00.000-06:00

Yep, that's right. I started a band. That's me in the middle.

Went out and picked up a $85 PS2 at the hock shop and Guitar Hero III at Wally World today.

This shit is like crack...

Rock on, Dudes.

I Gotta Get Me One Of These...

2007-11-08T19:45:00.000-06:00

AA-12 Assault Shotgun - 300 RPM of 12 ga. Whup-Ass.

Somebody with Mad Mod Skillz needs to work this into a TF2 mod to replace some of the balls the developers cut off most all of the classes to make their faggot-ass spy and soldier faves more survivable...

Invisibility, my hairy ass... Learn how to play, pussy.

Improving Perfection

2007-11-04T12:51:00.000-06:00

Chicken Fried Bacon, What could possibly be wrong with that??

Sometimes, Jury Duty Doesn't Suck, Or, My Ass Can Kick Your Ass

2007-11-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

Man, am I in the WRONG line of work...

A Bulgarian woman and a Romanian man have the world's best-looking bottoms, according to the jury of a backside beauty contest sponsored by a lingerie firm, a company spokeswoman said Thursday.

Beyond a 10,000-euro (14,400-dollar) cash prize, Kristina Dimitrova, 19, and 24-year-old Andrei Andrei each won a modelling contract for the company's next international advertising campaign as well as a year-long insurance policy for their rear ends in case of injury.

Some 15,000 people from 29 countries responded to a call by the European company Triumph to post photos of their backsides on the Internet three months ago.

If you wanna see The Best Male Ass, y'all can Google up that shit for yourselves...

...a year-long insurance policy for their rear ends in case of injury.

What if they lose their ass in a poker game???

WOW !!

2007-10-31T21:13:00.000-05:00

So, you think you've got mad shadow puppet skillz??

Can Crushing Cans

2007-10-25T17:06:00.000-05:00

Toby Keith did a song about this place...

Aussie barmaid fined for crushing cans with bare breasts

An Australian barmaid who entertained patrons by crushing beer cans between her bare breasts and hanging spoons off her nipples has been fined, police said Wednesday.

Luana De Faveri, 31, was fined 1,000 dollars (900 US dollars) in the Mandurah Magistrates Court in Western Australia after pleading guilty to two breaches of the Liquor Control Act.

Another barmaid who helped hang spoons on De Faveri's nipples, Tracey Leslie, 43, was fined 500 dollars while the bar manager was fined 1,000 dollars for failing to stop the pair, police said in a statement.

"She was alleged to have also crushed beer cans between her breasts during one of the offences" at the Premier Hotel in Pinjarra, about 80 kilometres (50 miles) south of Perth in June, police said.

The fines "send a clear message to all licensees in Peel that we will not tolerate this type of behaviour in our licensed premises," said Superintendent David Parkinson of the Peel Police District.

I'll bet you a dozen of Dunkin's best that there were several blue-clad (or whatever color the P.P.D.'s finest wear) eyewitnesses to the alleged racy recycling, up to and including Superintendent Parkinson, until somebody's loose lips sank the good ship "Silly Bar Tricks".

A Small Ray Of Hope In A Hopelessly Stupid World

2007-10-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

Another "modest proposal"
by Justin Jones
Published on: 10/23/07

For a millennium, the world has been plagued with stupid people corrupting society and bastardizing the value of life for all of mankind.

The intellectually handicapped have been reproducing at a substantially greater rate than those with a fully functional brain.

The problem of the unintelligent reproducing is, and has been, a serious threat to society that has gone unchecked for far too long. It is the responsibility of man to solve this problem before a reverse Darwinism takes effect.

It is depressing to think (especially at the high school age) that people with a high IQ are generally stereotyped as "geeks" or "nerds" because they choose to do more intellectually stimulating activities like homework, and reading, instead of those activities preferred by their peers like power lifting, full contact football without head protection, or crushing cans on one's head. So while the intelligent are exiled from the masses, the ignorant are cherished and embraced.

Due to the substantial amount of low IQ reproduction and relatively low amount of high IQ reproduction, the intelligent become fewer and farther between.

Since mankind obviously cannot control itself enough to make strides for the future, the populace spins into an out of control state of reverse Darwinism where the stupid people survive and the smart people perish.

Some form of action must be taken, one which can be governed effectively and immediately to pull a populace from a malevolent tailspin toward disaster.

First off, charity should be outlawed. No longer should people be allowed to use their children as a source of income. People who cannot afford to have kids simply should not have kids. Unemployment benefits also must be disbanded — go get a job. That isn't to say those with disabilities should not be helped, but not with handouts, just a hand. One of the greatest minds of the century, Stephen Hawking, is immobile. Yet the courageous Mr. Hawking still manages to make strides in the areas of physics, despite being confined to his wheelchair.

Second, the government should compile a standardized test to thoroughly analyze any and all 5th grade students in the country for IQ levels. Based on the results of the test, those who perform in the bottom 25 percent should be executed. The executions will not be inhumane; simple lethal injections while one sleeps would be sufficient. With the bottom of every class systematically removed, over time the world would inevitably thrive and prosper like never before.

It is true that, without the unintelligent, there will be no one to mess up one's order at the local fast food joint, or people on the news to give one something humorous to talk about at the water cooler at work the next morning, but that is a sacrifice, as a race, that simply must be made.

Not That I give A Fuck...

2007-10-21T11:52:00.000-05:00

...what somebody names an album, but insinuating that a word is verboten is the quickest way to get me to hammer you between the eyes with it. Words are words and they are all fair game.

Nas confirms album title will be epithet

The rapper told MTV News that he would indeed be naming his new album after the N-word. And he denied earlier reports that the album's title would be spelled "N(igg)a," considered in some circles a less inflammatory epithet. He said the disc is due out Dec. 11.

"We're taking power from the word," he added. "No disrespect to none of them who were part of the civil rights movement, but some ... in the streets don't know who (civil rights activist) Medgar Evers was ... they know who Nas is," the rapper said, referring to the civil rights leader slain in the 1960s.

"And to my older people who don't know who Nas is and who don't know what a street disciple is, stay outta this (expletive) conversation. We'll talk to you when we're ready. Right now, we're on a whole new movement. We're taking power from that word."

Actually heard on my High School bus route:

"Yo, nigger!! Sit your monkey ass down, boy!!"

Words that would get a honkey drawn and quartered, boiled in oil and burned at the stake by the PC-police as well as sued by some bottom feeding lawyer crying, "RACISM!!!"

I hear nigger more in a 15 minute bus route than I ever heard in ALL of Richard Pryor's albums. Richard was "taking power from the word" as well, but IMO, it's just they can do something freely in any company that whitey would wind up getting his tit in a wringer for.

If saying nigger gives you power, I drive the bus for Sky High.

Nigger is an attitude, not a skin color. If you act like one, don't act offended when you get called one. Pull your fucking pants up, we don't wanna see your skid marks. Let go of your dick, it ain't going anywhere. And stop shuffling around like an ape, you're a human being.

And that goes for all you Vanilla Ice knockoffs, too.

The Ungrateful Bastard Of The Year Award Goes To...

2007-10-20T11:55:00.000-05:00

...Tajuan Bullock, for bitching about being able to breath instead of having a structurally superfluous asshole in his forehead.

MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A burglar in Montgomery chose the wrong family to mess with, literally. Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon returned home on Tuesday after a week away to find that thieves had emptied almost everything the family of five owned, Tiffany McKinnon said through tears.

"Tears just rolled down my face as I walked in and saw everything gone and piles of trash all over my home," she said.

Adrian McKinnon sent his wife to see her sister while he inspected the piles left behind. As he walked back into the sunroom, a man walked through the back door straight into him, Tiffany McKinnon told the Montgomery Advertiser in a story Thursday.

"My husband Adrian caught the thief red-handed in our home," she said. "And what is even crazier, the man even had my husband's hat sitting right on his head."

Adrian McKinnon held the suspect, 33-year-old Tajuan Bullock, at gunpoint and told him to sit on the floor until he decided what to do.

"We made this man clean up all the mess he made, piles of stuff, he had thrown out of my drawers and cabinets onto the floor," Tiffany McKinnon said.

When police arrived, Bullock complained about being forced to clean the home at gunpoint.

"This man had the nerve to raise sand about us making him clean up the mess he made in my house," she said. "The police officer laughed at him when he complained and said anybody else would have shot him dead."

Capt. Huey Thornton, a police spokesman, said police arrested Bullock at 2 p.m. Tuesday on burglary and theft charges. He was being held in the Montgomery County Detention Facility on a $30,000 bond.

"The victims were lucky in this case to be able to catch the suspect in the act and hold him until police arrived," Thornton said.

"It's A Wonder My Guts Don't Fall Out...

2007-10-18T21:01:00.000-05:00

...The Ol' Man lost his watch in there one time. When we got it out it was still working. It took a dickin' and was still ticking!!"

My Wife, My Woman, My Life, My Queen

2007-10-13T18:29:00.000-05:00

The Fall Of Rome

2007-10-09T19:08:00.000-05:00

I'm still alive.

I have decided that it is a battle of wills, and they will lose. In fact, today I was asked if I was gonna be the driver for the rest of the year. When I replied in the affirmative, another kid said he didn't think I'd make it. But he's not one of my headaches.

Several of my worst headaches are in "The Cooler", as Col. Klink would say. They are dealing with alternative transportation until January.

I'm making progress. Today at the end of the route, some of the better behaved (read: Roman) kids went thru the bus and put my windows up. And when I asked the last kid to get off if things seemed better than when she started riding, she said, "Yes, lots better."

Last week, two of my Visigoths were cooling a fight between two of the other Visigoths, instead of joining in. They kept it from coming to blows. Shocked the hell outta me.

I've figured out that most of the problems are from one group of Visigoths agitating another. So I've revised the route so that the two are in proximity for the minimum amount of time possible, and things are a lot better. Some of the Roman kids actually have been asking me if I'm gonna run the route the new way "to get the bad kids off quicker". Seems the least I can do for them and my nerves.

I have been referring to them as "heathens" at the garage, but after some reflection, I've decided that "Visigoths" is more accurate. In short, the Visigoths were barbaric tribes that brought about the final downfall of the Roman Empire. That knowledge coupled with the statement that "the children are our future", led me to the choice of that term.

If these children are our future, as they say in ebonics, "We be fucked..."

I Just Drive The Bus

2007-09-23T17:36:00.000-05:00

(Bonus points if you can name the movie the title comes from...)

Started a new job driving a school bus, transporting baby wannabe thugs from the 'hood to middle, junior and senior high schools, so blogging has been light because after getting back home from that rolling primate house called a bus route, the last thing I wanna do is have to think.

I miss the good ol' days when if you fucked up on the bus, the driver warned you and if you didn't listen, he either kicked your ass on the bus or kicked your ass off of the bus, and after you got home, your folks kicked your ass for being a fuck-up.

Now, if you even look like you might touch one of those pwecious widdle angels, you get shit canned and sued. Even if some cock-knocker 5th grader instigates it by saying, "I'll punch you in your bald-ass head...", don't you dare turn around and tell him, "Try it, you little coffee with extra cream skin tone, just enough nigger in the wood pile to claim to be black mother fucker and I'll fuck you up so bad your illegitimate grand-children will be retarded."

When I started, I thought the biggest problems would be from the older kids. In fact, other than an issue about the possibility that I could be a racist, ("I'm not a racist. I hate everyone equally.") the Jr./Sr. High kids are fairly well behaved. Of course, it didn't start out like that.

The first couple of days, they wanted to see how far they could push and how much I would take. I told them that the bus was my world and as soon as they stepped on board, they were just living in it, and my word was law. After some insubordination from a psuedo-diva, we took a trip back to the school, they tried a few aborted attempts at lying about me and the principal then re-enforced the fact that yes, it is my world and they have no say about how it turns, and if they didn't wish to comply, he'd be happy to suspend them, and things have been pretty smooth sailing ever since.

No, the primate house aspect of it comes from the middle schoolers. Screeching, screaming, jumping around, throwing shit, and them KNOWING that you can't lay a finger on them, much less kick their oh, so deserving asses for it. All that can be done is to report the latest fuck up, go to the video tape and wait for the powers that be to figure out what to do.

If we had a suggestion box, I'd offer that we take the 6-10 shit disturbers off of the regular buses, place them all on a single bus with bars on the windows and chains on the seats and an overseer with a Klingon Pain Stick to ride herd on them. Hell, I'd volunteer to drive that bus.

And the first one to throw a rock at the back of, or offer to punch me in my head...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU AND DIE !!!

2007-09-20T20:34:00.000-05:00

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to visit Ground Zero during his NYC visit.

NYPD's response??

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Stuffed Pork Loin Chops Stuffed with Caramelized Onions

2007-09-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

Stuffed Pork Loin Chops Stuffed with Caramelized Onions

2 ea boneless pork loin chops — 1" thick
2 oz gruyere — sliced
1 lg onion — peeled, halved, and sliced into half rounds
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1/4 c port
salt and pepper

Melt butter in a large sauce pan over over low heat. Add onions and stir to coat. Cover and cook until onions caramelize — about 30 minutes — stirring frequently.

Heat oven to 400F and heat olive oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium high heat.

Cut a deep pocket in the side of each chop and stuff with sliced gruyere. Liberally season with salt and pepper. Brown one side of chops — about 4 minutes. Turn chops over and place skillet in the oven. Cook chops for about another 5 minutes. Remove from oven and tent with foil.

Meanwhile, place onions over medium heat and stir in vinegar. Reduce vinegar to a glaze. Add port and reduce to a glaze. Season lightly with salt and pepper.

Serve chops topped with caramelized onions.

Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan: Chicken-Fried Pork Chops with Andouille-Milk Gravy over Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes

2007-09-13T21:13:00.000-05:00

(Quick and dirty repost of last year's recipe 'cause I'm tired and almost forgot about how hungry our 'slim friends will be at lunch time. So fix extra and share with Abdul at lunch.)

Well kiddies, it's that time of year again, 13 Sept 2007 is the first day of the Pisslamic holiday Ramadan. From 13 Sept until 12 Oct one of the things the muslim hordes will do to celebrate Ramalamadingdong is observing a sunup to sundown fast.

(From factmonster.com)

Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry and thirsty, Muslims are reminded of the suffering of the poor. Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, fasting helps Muslims feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow believers.

Mebbe a mushroom cloud over mecca would remind these goat-raping, camel-piss drinking backwards-assed primitive motherfuckers of the suffering of the poor families of the folks they've beheaded on camera while practicing their self-control...

Well, because I hate (muslims) to see anybody going hungry, I've decided to post a daily, delicious pork recipe that you can prepare and share with your muslim friends for lunch. So let's get the party started with some yummy pork chops...

Chicken-Fried Pork Chops with Andouille-Milk Gravy over Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes

22 saltine crackers, finely crushed
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon salt, divided, plus more for seasoning
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided, plus more for seasoning
3/4 teaspoon Emeril's Original Essence, recipe follows
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
2 large eggs
3 cups plus 1/3 cup whole milk
8 boneless breakfast pork chops (small, thin cuts, about 1/4-inch thick each)
2 to 2 1/2 cups vegetable oil
8 ounces cooked and crumbled andouille sausage
Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes, recipe follows

In a shallow bowl combine the crushed crackers, 3/4 cup of flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, Essence, and baking powder.

In a separate small bowl, whisk together the eggs and 1/3 cup of milk.

Season pork chops lightly with salt and freshly ground pepper on both sides. Dust pork chops, one at a time, with the cracker-flour mixture and then dip in the egg mixture. Dredge pork chops with the cracker-flour mixture a second time, pressing to coat, and shaking off any excess flour.

Heat the oil to 375 degrees F in a large skillet with 2-inch deep sides. (The oil should be about 1/4-inch deep.) Add the pork chops to the preheated oil, being careful not to over-crowd the pan. Pan-fry the chops for 2 minutes, or until golden brown. Turn the pork chops and cook an additional 2 to 3 minutes, or until golden brown and cooked through. Place the pork chops on a paper towel-lined plate and keep warm while you make the gravy.

Carefully discard most of the oil from the pork chops, reserving 2 tablespoons plus any browned bits in the bottom of the skillet. Heat the oil over medium-low and add the andouille sausage, stirring until warmed through and fragrant. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of the flour to the oil-sausage mixture, stirring constantly to keep from burning, about 2 minutes. In a slow, steady stream, add the remaining 3 cups of milk, 1/2 cup at a time, whisking continuously. Bring the gravy mixture to a simmer, and cook 8 to 10 minutes, or until slightly thickened. Season the gravy with the remaining 1/2 teaspoon of salt and remaining 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper. Serve immediately over chicken fried pork chops and buttermilk mashed potatoes.

Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes

2 pounds Idaho potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Place the potatoes in a medium pot and cover with cold water by 1-inch. Bring to a boil, and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, uncovered, until the potatoes are fork tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Drain potatoes in a colander.

Return the potatoes to the cooking pot and add the buttermilk, butter, salt, and black pepper. Mash with a potato masher or heavy fork until fluffy, about 4 minutes. Adjust seasonings with salt and pepper, to taste. Place potatoes in an ovenproof dish and cover with aluminum foil. Place mashed potatoes in a low (275 degree F) oven to keep warm until ready to serve with the pork chops.

Emeril's ESSENCE Creole Seasoning (also referred to as Bayou Blast)

2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon dried thyme

Combine all ingredients thoroughly.

Yield: 2/3 cup

9-11 +6: Never Forget, Never Forgive, Never Again.

2007-09-11T09:34:00.001-05:00

TUESDAY MORNING

HEROES

THAT DAY

HEART ATTACK

(Special thanks to Cox and Forkum for these cartoons.)

Peroidic Table Update

2007-09-08T12:47:00.000-05:00

(From J at CIA...)

Recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

(From Jackboot in comments...)

Addendum: While not undergoing normal decay processes, it nonetheless emit a dangerous form of radiation known as Taxetrons even after it reaches isotopic stability. Taxetron rays are known to cause a decrease in the monetary income of anyone exposed to the slightest dose and their energy is proportional to natural logarithm of the number of morons, CUBED.

Poor Man's Smart Bomb

2007-09-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

Amazing Improvised Smart Bombs

Here's a case of smart bombs with a clever, and unexpected, twist. The Lebanese air force created an improvised helicopter bombing system for their recent operations against several hundred Islamic terrorists who had barricaded themselves in a northern town (technically a Palestinian refugee camp).

Needing some precision bombing, so as not to hurt nearby civilians (who refused to be evacuated), bomb racks from retired Mirage 3 jets were mounted on the underside of American UH-1 helicopters. The landing skids were lengthened a bit for this. The bomb release mechanism from the Mirage 3 was then installed in the helicopters.

Instead of smart bombs, the helicopter crews carried 500 and 900 pound dumb bombs, but flew them to GPS coordinates of their targets then, at an altitude of about 3,500 feet, and released the bombs.

The accuracy was amazing, usually the same as GPS guided smart bombs (within 33 feet of the GPS coordinates). Troops on the ground, or the helicopter crew, could use laser rangefinders equipped with GPS (a commercially available product) to get the coordinates of the target. Then, using the GPS in the helicopter, you fly the chopper until you are right over those coordinates.

Apparently no one ever realized that by combining GPS and a hovering helicopter with bomb racks, you can get about the same accuracy as a JDAM. Of course, one other factor was keeping down the ground fire. The army troops surrounding the terrorists could open fire as the helicopter approached, to make the bad guys keep their heads down.

Bombing attacks could also be made at night, to make it more difficult for machine-gun fire to hit the choppers. At 3,500 feet, a UH-1 is a pretty small target. And at night, very difficult to hit from the ground.

Firearms 101 For The MSM - Shooty VS. No-Shooty

2007-09-05T15:41:00.000-05:00

Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

2007-09-03T14:52:00.000-05:00

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Chapter III: Major offenses

Soldiers found guilty of major transgressions will be punished by the military authorities.

A soldier who kills another soldier will probably be shot. However, long wall-to-wall counseling sessions prior to the arrival of the military police are appropriate in cases where the transgression was against another soldier, and are best conducted in the presence of the wronged soldier. If the wronged soldier is still alive, he or she should be invited to join in to the session, as he or she will feel that revenge is called for and participating in the session will help to heal mental wounds caused by the perpetrator.

Rape

No offense is as damaging to the victim as rape. Murder does not come close, since the victim is dead and knows nothing. A raped soldier will have psychological scars for the rest of his or her life. A male soldier who is the victim of a homosexual rape is especially damaged, and many commit suicide rather than live with this burden immediate wall-to-wall counseling is required, and it must be so severe that bones are broken. Dimension lumber must be used during this session, and the minimum length of the session is three hours. If any part of the rapist's body has not been hit with the board, the session is not complete. At least one arm and one leg will be broken during the session and the testicles will be hit at least ten times.

Murder

Coming close to rape in its severity is murder. The victim will not be able to participate in the counseling, of course. A long counseling session with a baseball bat and jackboots will be initiated and will continue only until the perpetrator is unconscious. Then the murderer must be revived and beat on some more.

Arson

Arson, of course, affects us all. Besides the possibility of losing your life, seeing all your crap go up in smoke and having to sleep in the street for the next three years, arsonists steal unit morale, cohesion and esprit de corps. After all, if you can't trust someone to not burn your place down, how can you trust him in a combat situation? Arsonists are very simple to counsel. They are to be placed in the burning building and the doors are to be locked.

Robbery, burglary and barracks thievery

These crimes also affect unit morale. When a soldier rips off your stuff, all you want to do is kill him. Well, if it's your crap, go ahead and do him in. In fact, do more than that. If however, it wasn't your crap he took, you should let the wronged do the little crap head. Popular punishments for barracks thieves include the soldier falling down the stairs twenty or thirty times. Soldiers have also been penned into their rooms and tear gas powder blown under the door with a hair dryer. Anything cruel is good barracks thieves. In fact, it is best if you hold a formation to make the entire battalion observe the barracks thief being killed. People who do crap like this do not deserve to live, as they are far below contempt. I would rather have Russians distroing message traffic than a barracks thief in the company. And I definitely do not want Russians pulling WSC.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

2007-09-01T16:14:00.000-05:00

More Friday Funny, Or, My God Can Beat Up Your God

2007-08-31T11:00:00.001-05:00

Being a non-religious barbarian heathen, I personally don't have a "God", so please feel free to insert your Holy Roller of choice into the title. Also, due to the above, I don't have a dog in this fight, but I know bullshit when I see it.

Apparently, the comic strip "Opus" took a shot at Jerry Falwell a week or so ago and nobody seemed too worried about inciting Christians to riot in the streets. This week, our favorite penguin took aim at the Religion of Pieces and several papers chose to not run the strip because they didn't want to offend the 'slims.

So it is OK to fuck with Christians, but it ain't kosher to fuck with Pisslam??

"TWWEEET!!! Bullshit flag on the play. Blatant use of chickenshit Double Standards in religious mockery. 10 Hail Mary penalty, second down!!"

Here is the "offending" cartoon:
(makee cliky to enlarge)

And here is what Cox & Forkum had to say...

The story from Fox News...

A popular comic strip that poked fun at the Rev. Jerry Falwell without incident one week ago was deemed too controversial to run over the weekend because this time it took a humorous swipe at Muslim fundamentalists.

The Washington Post and several other newspapers around the country did not run Sunday's installment of Berkeley Breathed's "Opus," in which the spiritual fad-seeking character Lola Granola appears in a headscarf and explains to her boyfriend, Steve, why she wants to become a radical Islamist.

Sources told FOXNews.com that the strips were shown to Muslim staffers at The Washington Post to gauge their reaction, and they responded "emotionally" to the depiction of a woman dressed in traditional Muslim garb and espousing conservative Islamic views.

There was also considerable alarm over the strip at the highest echelons of The Washington Post Co., according to the sources.

I can hardly wait for Ramalamadingdong so I can resume the offending Pork: It's What's For Lunch During Ramadan series...

Allah (Pork Fat Be Upon Him) sucks pig balls, you simpering 7th century sheethead simpletons...

Friday Funny

2007-08-31T07:21:00.000-05:00

I Gotta Get A Grant VII - Why You Should Pay Attention In Math Class

2007-08-29T16:31:00.000-05:00

If we step into the Way Back Machine and take a trip to 1978, we find your's truly in 9th grade math class. And I'm saying to myself, "Self, if you pass math this year, this is the last time you'll have to suffer thru this bullshit. You can balance a checkbook, count change, and do all the basic mathematics you need to get thru your life. You know that you'll prolly get a piss poor grade in the algebra portion of the course*, but what good will being able to add A + B and make it equal C do you?? If you do well enough the rest of the year, no more math 'til the math test at the end of Junior year."

Little did I know that being good in math allows you to study things like this...

Jessica Alba has the perfect wiggle, study says

Jessica Alba, the film actress, has the ultimate sexy strut, according to a team of Cambridge mathematicians.

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman's walk - and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better.

This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion.

Therefore, a woman with a 25in waist and 36in hips would have just the right proportions to carry off a sexy swagger as she walks.

The Jessica Alba sashay beat off competition from Kate Moss, Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, whose walk along a railway platform in Some Like It Hot is one of the most famous in film history.

While Monroe was a fraction off the target ratio with 0.69, the Cambridge team said that Alba had the perfect proportions.

(* Sure enough, that was the ONLY F I got in 12 years of school. The rest of my grades never dipped below a B.)

Gun Crime Increases After Guns Are Banned??? UNPOSSIBLE!!

2007-08-28T10:54:00.000-05:00

Pop Quiz: You're a Bad Guy with mayhem on your mind. Where are you more likely to do your dirty deeds...

A: A place like Missouri, Florida or Texas that allows it's citizens to carry firearms for self defense and you don't know who may be packing more heat than you...

or,

B: A known "Gun-Free Zone" like Chicago, Washington, D.C., or England that is governed by GFP's who think, "If we make guns illegal, that will stop crime because criminals will obey the gun laws..."?

Gun crimes in England have almost doubled since 1997, when a ban on firearms began.
According to the Sunday Times of London, crimes in which guns were used numbered 4,671 in 2005-06.

Australia also saw a similar increase in gun crimes after making private ownership of firearms illegal, thus PROVING the old bumper sticker wisdom, "When you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns." correct and prophetic.

Also, government officials report that most gun crime is committed by children and teenagers under 18 years old.
David Davis, the shadow home secretary, told the Telegraph: "What this shows is that the majority of these crimes are committed by youngsters under 18."

In the dictionary under "Redundant", it says, "See: Redundant".

It is my opinion that things like this are caused by a lack of proper parenting. I never considered going out and knocking over a liquor store or mugging someone because I knew that if I had even thought about it my Dad would have kicked my ass.

While I am against the government sticking it's nose into my life, there are some things that are too important to be left to unqualified idiots. And bringing another human being into the world is one of them. There should be a basic, minimum requirement that prospective parents should have to meet to get a permit to have children.

IQ, common sense, time available for proper parenting, knowing the difference between right and wrong, things like that should be tested in prospective parents. I know that the government is severely lacking in those qualities and would be a poor judge, but like so many other things, there could be a private entity that would do it better.

"The government's policy has failed with the group most responsible for this increase in crime.

"...the group most responsible for this increase in crime."??? Surely you don't mean the government that passed a gun ban that allows criminals to prey upon a disarmed populace without fear of getting their asses blown away?? Nope, that couldn't be it. That makes too much sense.

It is long past time the Government stopped believing its own propaganda, and took measures to get a grip."

Of course this doesn't mean common sense has broken out and some M'sP are saying, "Well, shit!! The gun ban ain't working worth a damn. Maybe we should let Joe Limey to carry a hogleg to discourage some yob from inflicting bodily harm and relieving him of his hard earned money."

Nope, what it means is they are gonna start outreach programs, midnight basketball, and counselors and other ways of pissing away tax money for these poor, misguided children to work out their feelings of hostility because Mommy and Daddy didn't love them enough.

I got a counseling program for these animals and their so-called parents... Wall To Wall Counseling. Pound the shit outta the kids for committing the crime and their parents for fucking off on the job. A few of these counseling sessions broadcast on the BBC and word will spread that maybe it ain't such a good idea to commit a crime or to be a fuck off parent.

I also have a counseling program for potential victims... Arm them and teach them how to properly employ firearms in self defense. A few stories of Yob X trying to mug Granny Y equals Result Z - Two center mass, one between the eyes, and some lovely toe jewelry from the morgue as a parting gift, will put the fear of Mssr's Colt, Smith, Wesson, and Beretta in the souls of potential criminals.

Remember kids, Gun Control is not about guns, it's about CONTROL.

Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

2007-08-27T13:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Department Of The Army - Field Manual 22-102: Wall-To-Wall Counseling

Chapter II: Minor offenses

Simple infractions can be dealt with quickly by a simple ass-beating. Soldiers appreciate this, as it saves them the hassle of having to visit the commander for UCMJ action.

Lateness

Soldiers arriving late for military functions should be screened carefully before being wall-to-wall counseled. A soldier who has never before been late would not benefit from having the crap beat out of him; indeed, it will only destroy his motivation. A soldier who has been late for the past four months, on the other hand, is possibly incorrigible and a well-deserved ass-beating would not only be profitable, but enjoyable. Especially if the soldier has caused you to visit the company commander on less-than-friendly terms.

Incompetence

Soldiers who have proven themselves incapable of performing the demands of their chosen profession may indeed be candidates for wall-to-wall counseling. The source of their incompetence must be determined before harsh measures are implemented, though. If a soldier has just graduated from Initial Entry Training and has never performed his job, corporal punishment would not be a good idea. If, on the other hand, he has performed his MOS for the last two years and still does not know shit from Shinola, the soldier deserves his ass beat and it should be performed at the earliest possible opportunity.

Challenging or defying Authority

Soldiers who harass their leaders are prime candidates for ass-beating. In this case, the soldier should not be given an opportunity to try to pull anything on you the second time. If the soldier harasses or ignores you, kick the crap out of him. Enough said.

Fucking Off

Off Soldiers who fuck off should be treated the same as those who screw with their leaders. Any soldier found sleeping in the back seat of their vehicle in the motor pool instead of working on it should be immediately taken in front of his whole platoon and have the shit kicked out of him. No slack can be placed on soldiers of this nature. The rest of the platoon will appreciate you.

300 VS. The Army Of Darkness

2007-08-24T14:27:00.000-05:00

There Is No Problem That Cannot Be Solved With A Suitable Application Of Explosives

2007-08-23T16:34:00.000-05:00

This video pretty much sums up what I was ready to do by the end of yesterday...

BTW, the clip at 5:23 is from the ONLY footage of the Hiroshima bombing. The clip at 1:08 down to :47 is from Nagasaki.

Wednesday Whammy

2007-08-22T21:10:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago over at The Empire, there was a post about having a broke down ride called "Shit Happens". There's a saying, "Karma's a bitch", but I guess it's also a contagion.

The following is from a comment that I left over there in a different thread about how I spent today:

The Ol’ Lady calls me from the Dr.’s office and sez, “My car’s broke, only goes clikey-clikey, come rescue me.” I sez, “OK, let me get my leotard and cape and I’ll be there ASAP.” Get to parking lot, check battery, green eye is red. OK. Take battery out, head to O’Reilly’s for new one. Get to end of block, clutch goes out on my ‘96 Ranger.

OK. Call friend for ride, call motel owner for advise on tranny repair, both say, “On the way!”. Owner picks up new Battery for car, nice guy. Replace Batt., return The Ol’ Lady to work, take car to O’Reilly’s for alternator check. Alt. shot. New alt.=$200 $50 core. Shit.

Call salvage yard. Used Alt.=$40 $5 core. Comes with limited lifetime warranty almost as good as $200 new one. WHOO-HOO!! Sold! Go get new used alternator and replace old one. Sweat ass off.

New battery = $75

New used alternator = $40

Busted knuckles = $free

Having car start on first lick and pass charging system check with flying colors = PRICELESS!!

Having clutchless truck stuck on parking lot with no idea how much repair bill will be yet = TEH SUXOR!!!1!!1

Monday Motivation - Wall To Wall Counseling

2007-08-20T11:53:00.000-05:00

In a new twist on Mon. Motivation, I'm going to start posting chapters from a recently de-classified U.S. Military Field Manual.

Thanks to our Political Better's belief that we need an enlightened, PC, kinder, gentler Military to avoid offending, much less killing, anyone, especially our enemies, this very effective form of motivation is now verboten.

But just because clueless bastards that can make rules, but can't spell MRE say U.S. forces can't use this marvelous motivational tool, doesn't mean that it can't be used in day to day life to light a fire under the ass of fuckups in need of a serious cluebatting.

Department Of The Army - Field Manual 22-102: Wall-To-Wall Counseling

Chapter I: Wall-to-Wall counseling has been around longer than the American military.

Many famed units used it as their primary motivational tool, and some used nothing else. It's still prevalent in many hardened military units.

The Spartans

The citizens of the city-state of Sparta, Greece, didn't mess around. Wall-to-wall counseling was the order of the day among the Spartan. The Spartans believed in hard training and hard discipline, and wall-to-wall counseling is about the hardest kind of discipline that there is. The Spartans were feared both in war and at peace, and they worked hard to maintain their image. Babies were quality controlled at the time of their birth, and any not meeting the standards were put on the sides of mountains to die. Needless to say, until the day when wall-to-wall counseling completely erased the desire of the citizens of Sparta to perpetuate the race, nobody screwed with these people.

Patton

General George S. Patton, the famed World War II tank corps commander was a great fan of wall-to-wall counseling. It showed in the way he led his troops. He never used a kind word when a foul one would do just as well. One of his most famous wall-to-wall counseling sessions occurred in a field hospital. Patton believed that combat fatigue was cowardice, and promised to shoot anyone exhibiting it. On a trip through a field hospital, he ran across a shell-shocked private. When the private claimed that he could hear the shells flying overhead but not exploding, Patton became furious. He slapped the soldiers in the head, waved a loaded pistol in his face and called him a wuss. Then he ordered him back to the front to fight "so the brave soldiers in this hospital won't be contaminated by this coward." That Patton was not punished as severely as he should have been for this deed shows that wall-to-wall counseling has a place in the US Army.

The South Korean Army

The Army of the Republic of Korea uses wall-to-wall counseling in its daily operation. It is sanctioned and approved by the Ministry of Defense. South Koreans feel that the harsher peacetime is, the less the soldier will notice the hardships of combat with North Korea. Wall-to-Wall counseling rises to its zenith with the ROK discipline board. This group wall-to-wall counseling session is convened for offenses that would result in punishment by court-martial in the US Army. The soldier walks into the discipline board,is wall-to-wall counseled, and is carried out of the board, either on a stretcher or on ice. While US Army wall-to-wall counseling is not likely to result in serious death to the soldier, the Korean discipline board is a model to be emulated by all US Army units.

When should you wall-to-wall counsel?

You should wall-to-wall counsel a soldier when he needs it. And all soldiers occasionally need wall-to-wall counseling.

Determining when this most severe of leadership techniques is warranted requires the leader to intimately know his soldiers and be aware of when a soldier is far enough gone that a swat in the head is the only thing that will adjust his behavior.

Why Good Quality Control Is A Must

2007-08-19T18:27:00.000-05:00

(Found at AoSHQ)

Monday Motivation

2007-08-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

I saw this pic and instantly knew what had to be done...

(Cross posted at Military Motivator)

(pic found at Curmudgeonly&Skeptical)

Yeah I know it's Saturday... Screw you, sue me....

Monday Motivation

2007-08-13T08:34:00.001-05:00

Nagasaki, Japan

2007-08-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

62 years ago today -

9 August 1945 - 11:02 AM

Fatman bomb, dropped by the U.S. B-29 Bock's Car, explodes with the force of 22 kilotons of explosives.

Within a mile, most people were dead, most buildings were destroyed. The survivors waited for death as emergency services were minimal. The cremation fires burned day and night, mixing with the fallout.

Sounds terrible. But that is what war is. And that is what war should be, so Man will be less inclined to turn to it as a continuation of diplomacy by other means.

But it was also necessary. President Truman made the decision to use the bombs after he was presented with reports that the closer U.S. Forces got the the Japanese mainland, the more viciously the Japanese fought. He was also informed that the civilians in Japan were taking up whatever arms they could and were preparing for a last stand fight to the death against U.S. Forces on their home soil.

That information coupled with the projections that an invasion of the Japanese mainland would lead to tens, if not hundreds of thousands of Allied casualties, and Japanese military and civilian casualties numbering in the millions tipped the balance.

But neither bombing was a sneak attack. The Japanese government was warned before Hiroshima was bombed that we had a new "Super Weapon" that we would use unless they surrendered. They ignored the warning. We destroyed Hiroshima.

We warned them again. We dropped leaflets over their cities asking them to ask their leaders to surrender. The first was dropped right after Hiroshima:

TO THE JAPANESE PEOPLE:

"America asks that you take immediate heed of what we say on this leaflet.

"We are in possession of the most destructive explosive ever devised by man. A single one of our newly developed atomic bombs is actually the equivalent in explosive power to what 2000 of our giant B-29's can carry on a single mission. This awful fact is one for you to ponder and we solemnly assure you it is grimly accurate.

"We have just begun to use this weapon against your homeland. If you still have any doubt, make inquiry as to what happened to Hiroshima when just one atomic bomb fell on that city.

"Before using this bomb to destroy every resource of the military by which they are prolonging this useless war, we ask that you now petition the Emperor to end the war. Our President has outlined for you the thirteen consequences of an honorable surrendor: We urge that you accept these consequences and begin the work of building a new, better, and peace-loving Japan.

"You should take stops now to cease military resistance. Otherwise, we shall resolutely employ this bomb and all out other superior weapons to promptly and forcefully end the war."

EVACUATE YOUR CITIES

The government ignored the warning. They ignored their citizens. Radio Tokyo told the country of the destruction of Hiroshima. We warned them again. This time we dropped leaflets over target cities BEFORE the second bomb was used:

"ATTENTION JAPANESE PEOPLE" EVACUATE YOUR CITIES

"Because your military leaders have rejected the thirteen part surrender declaration, two momentous events have occurred in the last few days.

"The Soviet Union, because of this rejection on the part of the military has notified your Ambassador Sato that it has declared war on your nation. Thus, all powerful countries of the world are now at war against you.

"Also because of your leaders' refusal to accept the surrender declaration that would enable Japan to honorably end this useless war, we have employed our atomic bomb.

"A single one of our newly developed atomic bombs is actually the equivalent in explosive power to what 2000 of our giant B-29's could have carried on a single mission. Radio Tokyo has told you that with the first use of this weapon of total destruction, Hiroshima was virtually destroyed.

"Before we use this bomb again and again to destroy every resourse of the military by which they are prolonging this useless war, petition the Emperor now to end the war. Our President has outlined for you the thirteen consequences of an honorable surrender; We urge that you accept these consequences and begin the work of building a new, better, and peace loving Japan.

"Act at once or we shall resolutely employ this bomb and all our other superior weapons to promptly and forcefully end the war."

EVACUATE YOUR CITIES

Again they ignored the warnings. We bombed Nagasaki. Damage was not as extensive as it was at Hiroshima, due to the geography of the area. The area around Ground Zero is surrounded by hills, and this served to protect the civilian areas of the city from the blast.

On 10 August 1945, planning for more atomic attacks continued in the U.S., and The Emperor of Japan ordered the military to offer surrender to The Allies. This order resulted in a split between those wanting to surrender for the good of Japan, and those wanting to continue the war for the glory of Japan.

The emperor recorded a message in which he personally accepted the Allied surrender terms, to be broadcast over Japanese radio. This way everyone in Japan would know that surrender was the emperor's personal will. Some within the Japanese military actually attempted to steal this recording before it could be broadcast, while others attempted a more general military coup in order to seize power and continue the war.

On August 15, 1945, the emperor's broadcast announcing Japan's surrender was heard via radio all over Japan. For most of his subjects, it was the first time that they had ever heard his voice. The emperor explained that "the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan's advantage," and that "the enemy has begun to employ a new and most cruel bomb." Over the next few weeks, Japan and the United States worked out the details of the surrender, and on September 2, 1945, the formal surrender ceremony took place on the deck of the U.S.S. Missouri.

Best Friends Forever

2007-08-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

This one can't wait 'til Monday...

Killed in Iraq, dog team buried together

By Michelle Tan - Staff writer
Posted : Tuesday Jul 24, 2007 6:38:59 EDT

The first military working dog team killed in action together since the beginning of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were laid to rest together July 18.

Cpl. Kory D. Wiens, 20, of the 94th Mine Dog Detachment, 5th Engineer Battalion, 1st Engineer Brigade of Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., and his partner, Cooper, were killed July 6 by an improvised explosive device while on patrol in Muhammad Sath, Iraq. They had been in Iraq since January.

The cremated remains of Wiens and Cooper, a Labrador Retriever, were buried together at Salt Creek Cemetery in Wiens’ hometown of Dallas, Ore., at the request of his family, said Master Sgt. Matt McHugh, the family’s casualty assistance officer.

“Kory referred to Cooper as his son, that’s now much of a team they were,” McHugh said.

McHugh added that based on his own research, the last military canine team to be killed together was during the Vietnam War.

The Army has 578 dog teams, and they have served several hundred rotations in Iraq and Afghanistan, said Hans Freimarck, the military working dog coordinator for the Army Dog Program.

Freimarck said he didn’t know the last time a canine team was killed together, but Wiens and Cooper were the first for operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom.

“Most military dog handlers look at [their relationship with their dog] as a marriage,” Freimarck said. “You give to the dog, the dog gives back to you. Every dog handler has a firm attachment to his dog and any dog in the military.”

Wiens and Cooper made up a specialized search detachment trained to find firearms, ammunition and explosives. Being on a specialized search team means more training, and Cooper, who was no more than 4 years old, did his job without a leash.

Cooper was Wiens’ first military working dog, and Wiens was Cooper’s first handler, McHugh said.

Wiens’ family is doing as well as can be expected, and their small community has been very supportive, McHugh said.

Residents of Dallas lined the streets to honor the funeral procession, which was accompanied by local law enforcement vehicles and the Patriot Guard Riders, a national organization of motorcycle enthusiasts who pay tribute to fallen service members.

Thirty-seven dog teams from the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps and area police departments attended the service, McHugh said.

Wiens was named after his grandfather, who was a military canine handler during the Korean War. He is survived by his parents, Kevin and Judith, three siblings and his extended family. Wiens’ older brother Kevin is serving his second tour in Iraq as a military police officer.

Remembering...

2007-08-06T20:59:00.000-05:00

Meagan Nicole ~ August 6, 1993

Happy birthday baby.

Daddy loves you.

Daddy misses you.