29 December 2006

Shoulda Learned To Play The Guitar, Shoulda Learned To Play Them Drums

If I could play like this, I would be throwing women away like used Kleenex...

27 December 2006

When You Hang A Man, Be Sure You Hang Him High

The American justice system could take a page from the Iraqi book. The appeals court upheld the death sentence for Saddam Hussein, now, by law, they HAVE to stretch his fucking neck within 30 days. 30 DAYS!!! WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT 30 FUCKING YEARS TO EXECUTE OUR SCUM?!?!?!

(I hope they play this on his trip down The Green Mile...)

Wednesday Weird Al - Living With A Hernia

For James Brown... 05-03-1933 - 12-25-2006

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26 December 2006

Full Metal Christmas

Yeah, I know it's Day After, but I just found this and I had to share. You know that in that last minute rush to get all the toys done for Santa, sometimes the elves need a motivational boot in the ass, and here it is...

25 December 2006

T.S.O. & Metallica - Carol Of The Bells

No politics, no war, no ranting... Just rock your world Christmas music for the holiday.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS

Anybody who know just a little bit about me HAD to know this was coming...



MERRY CHRISTMAS

24 December 2006

Dancing Christmas Lights - T.S.O. Wizards In Winter

Major Koolness...

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A Charlie Brown Christmas

I just wanted to share a very cherished memory from my childhood. Every year for as long as I can remember until I went out on my own, my Mom and Dad, my two Brothers and I would sit down in front of the TV by the Christmas tree and watch this. It just wasn't Christmas until we saw "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Now, My Dad is gone, my baby Brother is gone, and I miss them terribly. This is something I was looking forward to sharing with my children, but they didn't survive birth.

For just a little while, forget about politics, forget about hate and violence, forget about how commercialized Christmas has become, and think about your loved ones. Think about the important things in life. Think about the one's you still have and the one's you've lost and rejoice in them, because nothing lasts forever.



MERRY CHRISTMAS

23 December 2006

Swiss Miss - Who Is She??

My Brother and I recently inherited what we believe to be a Swiss Schmidt-Rubin K31 variant. At least that is the one rifle that we can find on the web that is closest to what we have. But there are some differences.





The most obvious difference is everything I can find online about the K31 shows a weapon with a stock and barrel shroud that extends all the way to the front sight, and as you can see from the two pix above, Swiss Miss has a short fore-stock and no shroud.



The next thing is everything I can find on the K31 shows a "Cocking Ring" that also acts as a safety when rotated. As you can see in the above pic, there is no ring and a thumb safety switch instead.



All the K31 info I can find shows a straight bolt handle, but Swiss Miss has a bent handle, I don't know if this O.E.M. or from a previous owner.



From it's inception in 1889, the Schmidt-Rubin straight pull rifles were chambered in a variety of calibers ranging from 6.5mm to 8mm, but most were chambered for the Swiss 7.5mm round. Swiss Miss has "CAL .308 WIN" stamped in the base of the sight, if you look close you can see it in the pic above.

That's pretty much all the high-points of the differences, and except for a reference in an article about a non-functioning website for a dealer named Mandall Shooting Supplies in AZ. about .308 WIN K31's going for $1000 that's all I know about this rifle. That, and I know she's a shooter because my uncle never failed to bring home a deer every time he took her to the field.

If you can offer more info on this, I'd appreciate it. If you have any questions to clarify something about her, feel free to ask, and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.

And before anybody asks, like the F-N Browning Auto-5 I inherited, serial ##'d in the 80,xxx range (made somewhere between 1903 and 1939, exact records are not available), she's not for sale. It's that whole Family Heirloom thing...

Saturday Schoolhouse Rock - I'm Just A Bill

I think the Publick Skool Sistem sucks because they spend more time "teaching" how condoms are supposed to work instead of important shit like how our government is supposed to work. How many kids today could pass a simple test given on the content of this cartoon?? I HAD to pass a test about this and many other things about the federal and state government and American and Missouri History before I could graduate High School. Of course, that was a quarter century ago, shortly before The United States started morphing into Bizarro World.



(I'm not saying that learning proper condom use isn't important, I'm saying there are more important things to be learning in the 4th grade...)

22 December 2006

Holiday Saturday South Park - Merry Fuckin' Christmas

I happened to stumble across this one, and seeing as how there is a war on Christmas going on, no "Merry Christmas", no christmas trees, no nativity scenes because it might "OFFEND" some joyless, pathetic cock-bite sumbitch that got a lump of coal because he was a fuck-head or follows a religion that would behead Santa because he don't pray to Allah or what ever dumb-fuck reason they have... I present this...



(Disclaimer: I don't follow any religion or pray to any gods, so this isn't a jab at your Holy Roller of Choice... And if you are offended by this fuck off and learn how to take a fucking joke.)

Letters To Santa

(stolen from G.O.C.)

From Rob.

Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care, kid. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your mom smoked pot when was pregnant with you, didn't she?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. I'll bring you some Legos instead.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Play station 3, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who the hell names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. You're getting a Barbie.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa


Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa


Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiny begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa


Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school during recess. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams, Santa

Drop The Peach Cobbler And Put Your Hands Up!!

from Cox & Forkum)



Airline travelers carrying aboard potential explosives -- holiday desserts containing more than 3 ounces of liquid -- are being encouraged by Homeland Security officials to find other means of transportation for the goodies.

"These items are permitted but may require further inspection. Keep in mind that many holiday foods like cake and pie have characteristics similar to liquids, gels and aerosols," listed one travel tip released yesterday by the Transportation Security Administration.

"If you are not sure if an item is a liquid, gel or aerosol it is best to pack the item in your checked bag or ship it to your destination in advance," says the travel guide.

Amy Kudwa, a spokeswoman for the TSA, will discuss the holiday travel checklist with reporters at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport today and demonstrate common holiday travel mistakes.

One air marshal said screening holiday pies is a "half-baked idea."

"That's outrageous; people would have gooey pumpkin pie leaking all over their luggage," said one airport security official.


I think there is an ulterior motive here... The TSA goons just wanna keep Granny's yummy Christmas goodnesss to themselves...

Bastards...

18 December 2006

Stuck Mojo - Open Season

(found this over at HotAir and be sure to click on post title to go to Stuck Mojo's website)

This is to put you raghead motherfuckers on notice... Not everybody in the U.S. has turned into a fucking pussy like the media cocksuckers and the useless fuckwit politicians. There are those of us that will KILL your goat-fucking sand-nigger ass motherfucking DEAD and then gouge out your eyes and piss in your skull if we even think that you are about to start some shit.

The only reason our Troops haven't made your worthless asses extinct is because of the bullshit, motherfucking P.C. R.O.E. they have had imposed upon them by a bunch of motherfucking retard jackoffs that are in charge but have no fucking clue about how to fight a fucking war.

We here in the heartland are under no such restrictions. I will motherfucking kill your camel cock-sucking asses deader than last weeks fish and I Guaran-Goddamn-Motherfucking-Tee you I won't lose a seconds sleep over it!!

Know this and remember it before you even THINK about shouting "Allahu Akbar" and starting some shit around here... You step in my 'hood, it's understood, it's open season on your asses with no bag limit motherfuckers.



The Lyrics For "Open Season"

I speak peace when peace is spoken, But I speak war when your hate is provoking, The season is open 24-7-365, Man up yo time to ride, No need to hide behind slogans of deceit, Claiming that you're a religion of peace, We just don't believe you, We can clearly see through, The madness that you're feeding your people, Jihad the cry of your unholy war, Using the willing, the weak and poor, From birth drowning in propaganda, rhetoric and slander, All we can say is damn ya

My forefathers fought and died for this here
I'm stronger than your war of fear
Are we clear?
If you step in my hood
It's understood
It's open season

I don't need a faith that's blind, Where death and hate bring me peace of mind, With views that are stuck deep in the seventh century, So much sand in your eyes too blind to see, The venom that your leaders preach, Is the path to your own destruction, Your own demise, You might say that I don't understand but your disgust for me is what I realize, Surprise!
Your homicidal ways has got the whole world watching, Whole world scoping, So if you bring it to my home base, Best believe it, The season's open

My forefathers fought and died for this here
I'm stronger than your war of fear
Are we clear?
If you step in my hood
It's understood
It's open season

I see you, Hell yeah I see you, Motherfucker naw, I don't wanna be you, If you come to my place, I'll drop more than just some bass, Yo you'll get a taste of a, Sick motherfucker from the Dirty, I ain't worrying not a fucking bit, I'm telescoping like Hubble, Yo you in trouble, Yo on the double, I'm wild with mine, Bring that style with mine, Fuck with my family I'll end your line, Just the way it is, Just the way it be, Do you understand? No matter if you're woman or man, or child, My profile is crazy, That shit you do doesn't amaze me, I'm ready to blaze thee

I don't give a damn what god you claim, I've seen the innocent that you've slain, On my streets you're just fair game, Like a pig walk to your slaughter, The heat here is so much hotter, And my views won't teeter totter or fluctuate, Step to me you just met your fate, And I'll annihilate, With the skill of a Shogun assassin, Slicing and dicing precise with a passion, In any shape form or fashion, Bring it to my home, Welcome to the danger zone, Cause your attitude's the reason, The triggers keep squeezing, The hunt is on and it's open season

It's Open Season

My forefathers fought and died for this here
I'm stronger than your war of fear
Are we clear?
If you step in my hood
It's understood
It's open season

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16 December 2006

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Something to let your mind shut down and relax...

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American Idiots Star Taylor Hicks Sings Do I Creep You Out

Apparently I made a mistake with this week's W.W.A. Turns out it was Taylor Hicks who first performed it on American Idiots. So to correct that error, I present the original...

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15 December 2006

Saturday Flashback - School House Rock - Electricity, Electricity

Since YouTube has decided to limit video length to 10 minutes and I'm too lazy to dig up all three parts of an episode for Sat. South Park, and since my Bro has reminded me of a childhood Saturday Morning favorite, please allow me to present "Saturday School House Rock".

2006 - Nuckin' Futs: The Year In Review

(found at Hot Air)

Yep, this pretty much sums it up.


NUCKIN' FUTS! THE JIBJAB YEAR IN REVIEW

Welcome to our show,
We're happy that you're here,
To hear us sing a song,
About this crazy year!

There was violence in Iraq,
Trouble in Afghanistan,
And Brangelina had a kid and started their own clan!

Oh!-Sama hides!
Britney rides.
Saddam lost his case.
Remember when Dick Cheney shot that one guy in the face?

Phone call scans!
Liquid bans!
Chavez blew a nut!
In the year 2006 the world was NUCKIN' FUTS!

Tom Cruise got the axe.
The Thai had quite a coup
I learned at Summer Camp,
Mel Gibson hates the Jews.

Haggart fell from grace,
Zarqawi bit the dust,
And the Google Guys bought YouTube for a couple billion bucks!
WOO-HOO!

Did you hear?
This past year,
Castro nearly croaked.
And Ariel Sharon suffered a hemorrhagic stroke.

Abramoff!
Tom Delay!
Freezers full of cash!
My Congressman IM'd me for a picture of my ASS!

Paris swore off sex,
Religious wars abound,
Kim Jung lit a bomb,
Somewhere underground.

E-Coli in our food,
Ken Lay died after trial,
Lance Bass announced that he prefers alternative life styles!
WHEEE!

Did you hear?
This past year,
Rummy got the can.
The Dems took over Congress,
I don't think they have a plan!

Israel!
Hezbollah!
Iran wants a bomb!
The way that things are headin'
Armageddon won't be long!
It really won't be long!
Yeah!

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14 December 2006

From The Weather Center - And You Though Katrina Was A Bad-Ass Storm...

Have your electronics been giving you a head-ache the past day or two?? This could be the reason...
The Lonely Sunspot: Number 930 sits alone at a time when overall solar activity is near the low point in an 11-year cycle. The spot has been the source of several solar storms in recent days. Credit: SOHO/MD


New Forecast: Severe Space Storm Headed to Earth.

Space weather forecasters revised their predictions for storminess after a major flare erupted on the Sun overnight threatening damage to communication systems and power grids while offering up the wonder of Northern Lights.

"We're looking for very strong, severe geomagnetic storming" to begin probably around mid-day Thursday, Joe Kunches, Lead Forecaster at the NOAA Space Environment Center, told SPACE.com this afternoon.

The storm is expected to generate aurora or Northern Lights, as far south as the northern United States Thursday night. Astronauts aboard the International Space Station are not expected to be put at additional risk, Kunches said.

Radio communications, satellites and power grids could face potential interruptions or damage, however.

Solar flares send radiation to Earth within minutes. Some are also accompanied by coronal mass ejections (CME), clouds of charged particles that arrive in a day or two. This flare unleashed a strong CME that's aimed squarely at Earth.

"It's got all the right stuff," Kunches said.

However, one crucial component to the storm is unknown: its magnetic orientation. If it lines up a certain way with Earth's magnetic field, then the storm essentially pours into our upper atmosphere. If the alignment is otherwise, the storm can pass by the planet with fewer consequences.

Kunches and his team are advising satellite operators and power grid managers to keep an eye on their systems. In the past, CMEs have knocked out satellites and tripped terrestrial power grids. Engineers have learned to limit switching at electricity transfer stations, and satellite operators sometimes reduce operations or make back-up plans in case a craft is damaged.

Another aspect of a CME involves protons that get pushed along by the shock wave. Sometimes these protons break through Earth's protective magnetic field and flood the outer reaches of the atmosphere—where the space station orbits—with radiation. The science of it all is a gray area, Kunches said. But the best guess now is that there will only be a slight increase in proton activity. That's good news for the astronauts.

"When the shock goes by, we don't expect significant radiation issues," he said.

The astronauts were ordered to a protective area of the space station as a precaution last night.

Now that sunspot number 930 has flared so significantly—after several days of being quiet—the forecast calls for a "reasonble chance" of more major flares in coming days, Kunches said.

Just to give you a better idea of what is happening in that "little" dark spot, here's something that will give you some perspective on what an insignificant speck we are...


Extending above the photosphere or visible surface of the Sun, the faint, tenuous solar corona can't be easily seen from Earth, but it is measured to be hundreds of times hotter than the photosphere itself. The clusters of the majestic, hot coronal loops span 30 or more times the diameter of planet Earth.

13 December 2006

Wednesday Weird Al - Do I Creep You Out?

Sorry 'bout no Weird Al goodness last week, but I was in a life and death struggle with Capt. Tripps and didn't feel like doing anything. But I pulled thru and my neck only turned a little bit black.

I haven't heard this one before, but it's an instant classic.

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12 December 2006

From The Dept. Of You Can't Make This Fucking Shit Up

(found at Wicked Thoughts)

No, this is not some kind of Fucking joke, They're Fucking serious. This is about Fucking thieves ripping off the Fucking taxpayers.




Fucking Tourists
LONDON, (AFP) - British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly-named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side, The Sunday Telegraph newspaper reported.

Only one kind of criminal ever stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border -- cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humour and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back and with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

"We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed," the officer told the broadsheet.

"It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile."

Local guide Andreas Behmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking.

"The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg," he explained.

"Every American seems to care only about 'The Sound of Music' (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg). The occasional Japanese wants to see Hitler's birthplace in Braunau.

"But for the British, it's all about Fucking."

Guesthouse boss Augustina Lindlbauer described the village's breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas.

"Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking," she said.

"Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no Fucking postcards."


And no, it's not a Fucking Urban Legend. More at Snopes.com

Tourists are causing a lot of anxiety - and are costing money - to a tiny village where signs keep disappearing. What do the signs read? "Welcome to Fucking, Austria." Pronounced "fooking", the little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the village in the 6th century. His name? Focko. The town sign has been stolen seven times in the last few months. With the signs costing several hundred dollars apiece, much of the tiny town's budget is being spent replacing the signs, says Seigfried Hoeppel, the Mayor of Fucking. He went on to express his hope that further thefts will be avoided through the use of increased concrete and... bigger screws.



The second sign carries the hilarity even further: "Bitte - nicht so schnell!" is German for "Please - not so fast!"

11 December 2006

Monday Blues

Nancy Pelosi is gonna be Speaker of the House, everybody she's suggested for various offices has a questionable history, if not an outright criminal history. The Dhimmicrats are gonna be in the majority in both houses of congress. Louisiana re-elected William "Cold Cash" Jefferson (remember him with $90K out of a $100K bribe he's on tape taking stashed in his freezer, diverting National Guard relief resources to get shit outta his house which prolly included that money while his constituents sit on their roofs awaiting rescue), and the citizens of Louisiana bitching because $58 FUCKING BILLION ain't enough to fix their little hellhole (try looking at the fuckwads you idiots elect to take care of shit like that, assholes). The Iraq Surrender Group report is pulling a Cronkite and saying the war is un-winable and saying we should withdraw, thus making the sacrifice of almost 3000 warriors for naught. We don't even get a fucking break from campaign season, because the media started "You Decide 2008" before the votes from "You Decide 2006" were even counted, so instead of 8 month to a year of campaign bullshit, we are looking at 2 solid fucking YEARS of political shit shoveling. The Hildebeast is running for President, and even worse, the power mad cunt Clintoon stands a good chance of winning.

And it's fucking Monday.

So I offer the following as an antidote to the feeling that our country is on the express elevator to Hell, with a suggestion: What say we retire the hard to sing 19th century version of The National Anthem and replace it with something more modern and blatantly 21st century patriotic...



FUCK YEAH!!!

09 December 2006

Keeping My Fingers Crossed

(found at Wicked Thoughts)

As I sit here at the tail end of a week of misery from the flu, I ran across this and thought it couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of folks...
Pandemic threat in Mecca pilgrim crush

MUSLIMS about to travel to Saudi Arabia for the hajj pilgrimage risk sparking a devastating global influenza pandemic because too few of the worshippers are being vaccinated before they go.

Experts have urged flu vaccination to be made mandatory for worshippers embarking on the pilgrimage, a trip expected of every Muslim who can afford it at least once in their lifetime.

The next hajj starts on December 28 and lasts for seven days. Between two and three million pilgrims from all over the world are expected to descend on Mecca and other holy sites, staying in overcrowded conditions.

In terms of public health, "such a gathering makes the possible rampant spread of the influenza virus and a global pandemic ... a potentially devastating prospect", say experts writing in the latest British Medical Journal.

The crush of people means it as "not unusual for 50-100 people to share a tent overnight" in desert camps, a degree of overcrowding that "greatly increases the spread of respiratory infections".

Dear Santa,

Forget about that big screen HDTV I wrote to you earlier about, I found a present I want more....

08 December 2006

Coming Out Of The Closet

(I don't remember where I found this, but given the ongoing pussification of species Maleus Americanium, I figured it needed posting...)

After searching for my sexual identity. I finally discovered it and I can no longer keep it in the closet. I am here to openly announce that I am a Retrosexual. My Retrosexuality is defined by the following Retrosexual code:

1: A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, pays for the date.

2: A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

3: A Retrosexual DEALS WITH SHIT. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.

4: A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

5: A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.

6: A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap. (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

7: A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old .

8: A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH SHIT" portion of The Code.

9: A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

10: A Retrosexual does not let neighbors fuck up rooms in his house on national TV.

11: A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for poontang. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

12: A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH SHIT. When you fucked up, he DEALT WITH YOU. Buck up pussy.

13: A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

14: A Retrosexual knows how to tie a fucking windsor knot when wearing a tie.

15: A Retrosexual does not strip naked, get into a sweat lodge, and bang on drums to bond with other guys. That shit is gay. However dressing in kilts, banging on drums around a campfire and drinking heavily is just fine.

16: A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

17: A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a damn nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss that you be.

18: A Retrosexual's asshole is an exit ramp on the road of life. Ladies, contrary to what Cosmo says, spontaneously sticking a finger back there is a good way to be launched off the bed (or if Hooters hotwings have been recently consumed, lose a finger). Make you a deal, we won't mess with your's unless you want us to, and you won't mess with our's... period.

19: A Retrosexual will buy feminine hygine products if he has to, but only under protest.This falls under unpleasant things you have to fucking DEAL WITH. Get some Hagen-Daas while your at it.

20: A Retrosexual gives a lady his seat on the bus/subway/etc.

21: A Retrosexual does not order an apple martini at the bar. A Martini has fucking Vodka and vermouth in it dammit. And maybe an olive. In fact, why not just get a shot of Vodka??


If any of you guys out there have suggestions for the code, please feel free to submit them in the comments and I'll add them to the list.

07 December 2006

Remember Pearl Harbor - The End Of An Era

(found at Michelle Malkin's site)

Every five years, the surviving Veterans of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 gather there for a reunion. But this year, the 65th anniversary, will be the last for most of them. These members of The Greatest Generation are in their 90's now and know that some of them won't be around in five years or won't be physically up to the long trip to attend.

In the decades since the bombing of Pearl Harbor, countless survivors have made the long journey back to Hawaii every five years to remember comrades who were lost and to catch up with those who lived but later went their separate ways. They drink Scotch and tell war stories; they brag and weep. They often just sit together and say nothing at all.

But this year's reunion holds an urgency that hasn't been part of gatherings past: Most Pearl Harbor survivors, nearing their 90s or even older, say it will be their final trip back to this place that changed the course of their lives and their nation forever. Event organizers--many of them children of survivors who are ailing or already have died--pragmatically are calling this the "final reunion." And survivors' extended families, including children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, are coming along to the reunion in unprecedented numbers to glimpse history firsthand through their loved one's eyes before the opportunity is gone.

"This is their last swan song," said Sue Marks, an event volunteer whose father, a Pearl Harbor survivor, died a decade ago. "They know that a lot of them either won't be around in five years or won't be able to make the long trip."


A significant part of American history will soon be gone, to be found only in the history books. While all Vets deserve our respect and thanks, the men and women who were in World War II deserve an extra share, for it is their service and sacrifice that put The United States of America in a position to become the most powerful nation on the planet. If you know one of these people, thank them and if they are willing to tell you, listen to their stories and remember them, because as we all know, history books can and have been rewritten.

When I look at the state of the Union today, I shake my head and wonder what these people think of what has become of the country they gave so much to protect. We should do more to be like these men and get some steel in our spines, because the war we are fighting now is more like WWII than most of us would like to admit.

The enemy we face now wants the same thing the enemy they defeated 60 years ago, world dominion. Maybe their motivation is different, but the end goal is the same. But if we lose this war, our lot in life will be far worse than it would have been had these men lost WWII. We must take a lesson from The Greatest Generation and do whatever it takes to win. They fought brutal, bloody battles on the land and at sea because that is what it took to win. They destroyed entire cities and their populations, military and civilian, from the air because that is what it took to win. They could not afford to lose, and neither can we.

Remember Pearl Harbor. Remember 9/11.

05 December 2006

That Sucking Sound You Hear Is Our Country Going Down The Shitter

So I was cruisin' around the net and I run across THIS at the above site...

Congress will approve an immigration bill that will grant citizenship rights to most of the 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens in the U.S. after Democrats take control next month, predict both sides on Capitol Hill.

While Republicans have been largely splintered on the issue of immigration reform, Democrats have been fairly unified behind the principle that the illegals currently in the country should get citizenship rights without having to first leave the country.

“Years of dawdling have worsened our border security and made it harder to fix this broken system,” said Sen. Patrick J. Leahy, the Vermont Democrat who will lead the Judiciary Committee next year. “We should not let partisan politics and intolerance continue to delay and derail effective reform.”

Democrats in both chambers say they will start with some form of legislation first drafted by Sens. John McCain, Arizona Republican, and Edward M. Kennedy, Massachusetts Democrat, which was the basis for the bill that was approved earlier this year by the Senate.

And then there’s this, from anti-illegal immigration stalwart Tom Tancredo:

Most likely, he said, Democrats will succeed at undoing plans to build 700 miles of fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border.

“The thing that’s in the greatest jeopardy right now is the fence, because they do have the appropriations process and that’s probably the one they can stop,” Mr. Tancredo said.


Thursday will be one month since this country finally admitted it is fucking stupid by putting the Dhimmocrats in power. And in that month, EVERY-FUCKING-THING the fucking Dhimmocrats have proposed to do as soon as they get sworn in Jan 3rd, 2007 leads to the water swirling faster and faster around the bowl.

I read the above article and my reaction was something like THIS...

I REALLY hope Tancredo runs in '08 and wins, because he's the only politician I've heard from recently who doesn't have his head up his ass.

Bond, Gay Bond. Say It Ain't So!!!

"Daniel Craig is urging movie bosses to revolutionise the James Bond franchise by including a gay scene involving the superspy in the follow-up to Casino Royale."

Danny-boy is urging the poofters in charge to kill off the Bond franchise by switching Bond's preferred smoke from a Turkish blend to Pole.
"The heart-throb actor has also reportedly told studio chiefs he is prepared to film a full frontal nude scene to please both his male and female admirers."

While Bond has wielded some weird weapons in the last 40-odd years, this male fan doesn't want to see him swinging THAT sword. I take it for granted that he packs a lethal weapon in his pants because he converted die-hard lesbian Pussy Galore with one shot. I don't need blue veined proof.
"He says: "Why not? I think in this day and age, fans would have accepted it."

Just because Danny-boy has "accepted" a lot of "things" (draw your own mental picture), the fan base that would accept "Bond, Gay Bond" is not large enough to keep the franchise alive. The fans that have kept Bond viable and in the theaters since the early 60's would more readily accept one of those old 5-minute opening scenes before the starting credits in which Bond gets a bullet in the brain from SPECTRE and dies, providing an honorable death to the series.
"I mean, look at Doctor Who - that has had gay scenes in it and no one blinks an eye."

Which explains why the good doctor's fanbase is so much smaller than Bond's, and why they haven't been making Dr. Who films for 40+ years. In the interests of full disclosure, I've never been a fan of Dr. Who, so I really can't make the call one way or another. But I guarn-damn-tee you more people around the world know about James Bond than Dr. Who. I can see the poll now:

"Which one do you know more about: James Bond or Dr. Who?"

"OH!! James Bond, Agent 007, MI5, License to Kill, cool gadgets, cool cars, BOND GIRLS!!

What was the other choice?? Dr. who???"


Stock up now on those 007 DVD's, because if this abomination come to pass, it'll kill the franchise and make the "real" Bond flix collectors items.

But in case this monstrous idea does not get aborted, and Danny-boy doesn't get tossed on the One Bond Wonder heap like George Lazenby, here is a list of possible titles for the next film:
(With thanks to the folks over at The Rott via Instant Bark.)

Dr. Blow
From The Bathhouse With Love
Brown Finger, Gold Lame`
Thunderous Balls, Thunderballs
You Only Felch Twice
In His Majesty's Secret Entrance
Sequins are Forever
Live and Let Felch
The Man with the Golden Shaft
The Spy Who Rimmed Me, The Spy Who Brokebacked Me
MoonRaper
For Your Browneyes Only
GotNoPussy, Octobunghole
A View To A Pole
The Living Gaylights, Fucked The Living Daylights Outta Him
License To Drill
BrownEye
Tomorrow Never Dies, But AIDS Will KILL Your Dumb Ass
Nine Inches Is Not Enough
Rim Another Day
Casino Glory-Hole
Never Say Never Again Little Bitch-Boy

Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments and I'll add them to the list.

03 December 2006

Call The CDC...(mebbe...)

At first, the lack of posting was due to my being disgusted with hearing the same thing over and over again in the news, and I didn't want to hear it again from myself.

But the past couple of days has been because I've fallen ill with either the flu that's going around, or it's Captain Tripps. If y'all don't hear from me in a day or three, you'll know it was the latter.

If it turns out to be Tube Neck, get in touch with the Centers for Disease Control, and tell 'em to bring their moon-suits. And besides, it's really hard to type when your eyes are burning with fever...

(For your chance to win a door prize, be the first one to correctly name the book and author referenced in this post, and you'll win a big ol' sloppy kiss and a few days of abject misery.)